Dec 172007
Hardcore action below the fold!
I’ve confessed this before and, like or not, I’m confessing again. Long before Internet porn and a few years before I found my dad’s Penthouse stash, I purchased the following ridiculously bad albums purely for whacking material. In fact I don’t think I even ever listened to the second one at all.
‘Fess up and share links. Hurry please.
Not that I have, of course, but *if* I had, they would be:
Roxy Music – Country Life
Herb Alpert – Whipped Cream (and other delights)
Carly Simon – No Secrets
What about that Cars Candy-O cover?
What about it? Do you have something to confess my child?
When i was a teenager, a mate and I were going to visit a guy he knew, and accidentally sprung him rubbing one out over the cover of Madonna Wannabe Stacy Q’s ‘Better Than Heaven’:
My favourite part: I asked him why he was doing *that* with it, and he said “Well, what else would i be doing with it? Listening to it?”
Given it contained the crapness of her sole hit, ‘Two Of Hearts’, (as well as the follow up non-hit, a very thinly-disguised rewrite of the former called ‘We Connect’), I think he was actually right.
For the record, we connect contains the lyric “The way you shot me with your white hot love”. I guess his need to give the album cover a facial was just some kind of Rocky Horror audience participation thing.
I actually have an older mate who swore by both the Cars and Roxy Music covers.
Good story, homefrontradio. Is this the same album cover that Stacy Q’s album was released in in your country?
http://www.gocontinental.com/photos3/q_stacey.jpg
That’s the one, Mr. Moderator. I looked it up of a combined sense of curiousity and horror as I wrote the post and was surprised at how how tame the cover is, especially to inspire an act of self-abuse that he never lived down.
Part of his attraction might have been the belief that went around the boys at my high schools that Girls with crimped hair were total sluts and would do *anything*.
I actually just went and flipped through my vinyl, and I actually *have* that album, and since it’s not something I ever would have bought myself the only other explanation is that its the very same copy, (as albums were frequently borrowed or forgotten in each other’s collections), which means i’m NEVER taking it out of the plastic sleeve. I don’t want to see any telltale stainage.
My entry in this category is Blondie’s Plastic Letters:
http://www.blondie.net/archives/archived20030811/images/albums/plasticletters.jpg
I often wondered if the appeal of Debbie Harry was the sheer ugliness of the rest of Blondie. Any guy could look at a cover like ‘Eat To The Beat’ and think they were in with a chance, given the competition.
Nah, it was all about Debbie’s hotness (just look at that album cover), but you might have a point since Chris Stein was her boyfriend at the time.