Jan 102008
In the Comments section from our last post of 2007, Townsman Chickenfrank summoned Townsman Hrrundivbakshi to comment on the following performance by ZZ Top at the halftime show of the college bowl game formerly known at the Orange Bowl. The time is yours, HVB.
You may also find the following clip fascinating and instructive…
Hrrundie I’m not, but I’ll throw in with my observations. First a sad underuse of a very high quality Extras Phalanx. A generous cadre of lovely young women with silver lame go go costumes, and they just kind of hung out. I was waiting for apolitical texas-themed party slogans spelled out to be seen from the blimp, like the June Taylor Dancers meet those Fem Bots from the Robert Palmer video. You assemble a Busby Berkely sized crowd of cheesecake, and then just fall on the ball. They are clearly not the band to roll out the U2-style Phalanx featuring kids and a smattering of males, with any kind of We Are the World Groove Vibe. But if you’re aiming below the belt, play to below the belt! You’re already doing a production number called Sharp Dressed Man featuring some of the least sharp dressed men on the broadcast. Even the tight, rounded, rather exaggerated buttocks of the players have more of the rock vid feel for the song, with their shiny pants.
And I’ll say this about the drummer. I know they’re wealthy and all, but can you imagine spending night after night playing those well-worn songs as you watch the two of them from behind, doing their best Dancercise Class at Sunset Village zombie sway? And for my money, those beards have now taken on a malformed-baby-in-a-jar creepy relic look. Can’t you see grabbing some ancient artifact in a tomb out from under a beard like that, the tiny finger bones tinkling on the floor into dust, right before the whole place caves in? Do you see that? I do.
Of course, I follow all of my skewering with this. I am a fan of the first three records (or so) to the point where I defend their existence, if not their musical choices of the last three decades. And also, I’m aware that it would sort of negate the point, but no one should ever watch a big half time show. It’s too unfair. Poor James Brown way up in the air on a cherry picker covered in patriotic tinsel, trying like mad to remember the words to I Feel Good so he can lip-sync, and not even trying to get the shitting his pants fearful look off his face! Do we need that to tack on late in the careers of these people? Sad, sad, though funny, funny, funny.
You know, the Romans used to fill the Coloseum up with water and have real boats full of slaves fight naval battles to the death of a Saturday afternoon. I’m just thinking along, here. But how about, say, Fleetwood Mac vs. Heart? Well, in any case. Don’t watch the Superbowl half time show, whoever it is. Just watch the sensational or mockable bits on Youtube the next day.
Frank Beard doesn’t have to grow a beard, but he should really wear a hat. His hair is bringing down the whole band’s Look.
Can we replay that Top-Thorogood thread from a few months ago? Surely the ranks of the few, the proud, the Thorogood defenders would swell after watching that video…
Observations off the top of my head:
Those beards are no longer impressive – they’re just grungy hillbilly/hobo beards…drummer Frank always has more drum kit equipment up there to supply his “look” – clearly he could play any of the songs the Top do with a 3-piece kit…maybe the video was dark on YouTube but as the General said – we needed to see more of the silver girls. And gee, they looked awful cute all riding in the front seat together…
The night before they were in their baby doll pajamas, talking on their princess phones;”Billy, do you want to come over and dye our beards the same color?” “Sure, Dusty, how about strawberry blonde, tee hee hee” Not a single bison on stage. Lame.
HVB, the man who’s been SUMMONED to comment on this video, has been strangely absent. Does anyone know if he has a press conference scheduled for this afternoon?
Slokie has definitely grabbed the 2008 Post Of the Year ring outta the RTH bison’s nose. Bravo!
That said, you’ll have to wait for my observations; I’m a busy post-vacation man.
HVB
Wow, slocum’s second paragraph not only perfectly nailed the creepy Mutter Museum vibe of modern-day ZZ Top, but also sold me on the notion that Frank Beard might have the least enviable high-paying job in music. They even make him hold the goddamned dog. Tremendous work.
This really does make that photo from one of the Thorogood vs. Top posts – the one where it looks like George dropped his keys behind the car, knelt down to pick them up and got stuck when his knee gave out – seem a lot less embarrassing.
Didn’t I hear that Tom Petty is going to be the Super Bowl halftime show? How can they fuck him up? I wonder what songs he’ll play. Something tells me the choice of Sharp Dressed Man was not ZZ Top’s.
BigSteve, if what you suspect about the song choice is correct, when would you pinpoint the last decision ZZ Top actually made? I bet they’ve been functional zombies since around 1978.
Well, they were actually playing the song, not miming. Billy was playing real guitar, i.e., he played a few clams, which I thought was great, because it meant he wasn’t playing a canned solo.
Isn’t pretty much everyone who’s been in the biz that long a functional zombie on some level? Actually I always get the impression the members of ZZ Top put on their personas to play, but I bet they can put them aside too. Wishful thinking maybe.
In light of BigSteve’s wishful thinking, who’s ready to step up and write that fan fiction of the ZZ Top tour in which they drop the schtick, trim the beards, etc? It could be the biggest thing since KISS Unmasked.
I assumed that when the Mod called them “functional zombies since 1978,” he meant that Billy and Dusty literally sustain themselves by feeding on human flesh and brains, a suspicion I share.
The one positive thing in the Orange Bowl clip is that Gibbons isn’t wearing that acorn hat thing anymore. What was that?
To continue with random Top musings, after trying to figure out what part of my misspent youth they’ve been hazily bringing to mind for the past few weeks, I’ve come to think it was probably Cling and Clang from HR Pufnstuf: http://www.70slivekidvid.com/puff/clingclang1.jpg They may even share the same choreographer.
SHOCK NEWS! ZZ TOP ARE OLD!
You guys are pathetic — picking on sixty-something-year-old dudes because they sign up for cheeseball halftime show entertainment, then refuse to play the “deep trax” you nerdily crave to hear. You give them bonus points for not lip-synching, but slag them off because of their wardrobe choices.
But we’re not talking about the Rolling Stones here, are we? No, we’re not — because if we were, you’d be handing out Hall Passes for their willingness to “let it all hang out” and play “with sloppy abandon” on the national stage.
ZZ Top’s stage moves may have devolved to the point of the nursing home toilet shuffle, but I ask you: how is that any worse than Keef’s periodic Rock Squats, or Mick’s chicken flailing loss of all senior citizen dignity?
Please.
HVB
p.s.: note to alexmagic — whatchoo talkin’ bout, alex? Billy’s still wearing his “ZZ Hat du Afrique” in this clip. It’s just *under* his other hat! The man is a genius!
p.p.s.: extra ZZ style points for mounting the exhaust diffusers on the mic stands!
Hrrundie grouses:
ZZ Top’s stage moves may have devolved to the point of the nursing home toilet shuffle, but I ask you: how is that any worse than Keef’s periodic Rock Squats, or Mick’s chicken flailing loss of all senior citizen dignity?
I say:
It ISN’T any worse. Weren’t you here for the crap many of us laid on the Stones for their outing? They get no Get Out of Lameness Free pass from me! Until they have Little Richard and Charo on at halftime, we will watch in dismay and train-wreck fascination.
HVB, That’s the deal! Leave them alone? Accept a spot in one of those sports extravaganzas and you’ve signed up for music, hair, beard, hat, clothes, age, underuse of go go dancer criticism. If GE offers, say no. If you say yes, suffer the wrath of the hall!
HVB,
sorry your panties are in a bunch. but slocum’s right, the stones don’t get a free pass ’round these parts (not even from 2k!).
for what it’s worth, i thought the zz spot was cool and funny. for about 20 yrs now, they’ve been re-crafting themselves for appearances of this particular stripe. a pretty wise move if you ask me. not bad for a trio. they truly are icons for a whole set of american beliefs (some of which i don’t agree with, but that’s not what this thread is about).
slocum, et. al., this is like shooting fish in a barrel, isn’t it? not only is it easy to bag zz for the creepier aspects of their halftime appearance, but you get to rile up hvb in the process!
question for hvb or anyone else: what’s dusty complaining about? bad monitors? that his bass isn’t working? something was up, but it didn’t seem to make a difference in the broadcast sound.
saturn asks:
I think the spotlights on the band were obscuring his view of the go-go dancers.
That they might not have gotten to pick their song for the Orange Bowl reminds me – any predictions for what Petty plays for the Super Bowl? Four songs seems about right, based on the last few.
Might be more sporting to guess who gets in the pre-show and anthem spots. I’d already forgotten, thankfully, that Billy Joel did the anthem last year. And that Styx, KISS and The Fifth Dimension have all performed pre-show in the past ten years.
http://www.nfl.com/superbowl/history/entertainment – 41 years of pre-game, halftime and post-game shame. Witness 1997, where ZZ Top had the honor of sharing the spotlight with James Brown and the beloved Aykroyd/Jim Belushi/John Goodman incarnation of the Blues Brothers.
Alexmagic asks:
Definitely “Free Falling” and “I Won’t Back Down”, both of which, I believe, are not “and the Heartbreakers” songs. Maybe “American Girl”, so that Tony Romo’s celebrity girlfriend of the month and Brady’s supermodel wife can be seen shaking their ta-tas from a deluxe box. I’m stumped on a fourth song. “Refuge” is kind of a downer, isn’t it? “Breakdown” is too bluesy for kids to parade around colored flags to. How about a cover? Something dramatic, along the lines of Prince doing “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”? I’ll go out on a limb and say a star-studded Travelin’ Wilburys number.
What should be played – but won’t – is “Even the Losers”.
Pregame: Some one-named pop star, like Rhianon, or whatever her name is.
Anthem: Ron Jaworski’s going to pull some strings and get his arena-league football team co-owner Jon Bon Jovi the gig.
I think Mr. Mod’s proposed set list is pretty spot on. I’d add “Runnin’ Down a Dream” as a set-closing, up-tempo rocker.
Except for the Superbowl it will be “Running Down a Screen” and “Baby, you don’t have to live like a Referee”
I honestly believe Petty will not embarrass himself at all ala Stones and ZZ. He’s one of the few performers that I’ve never thought was “way” better in the past than he is right now. He was a B+ guy before and he’s still B+.
Petty seems a little wrong for the super bowl.
if he gets up there and just does what he normally does, people will think he’s just a boring old fart.
but if he tries to do something special for the occasion, he’ll probably look stupid.
he’s a dead man walking.
I remember U2 totally rocking the house playing Beautiful Day at the Super Bowl, and that’s a perfect song for the occasion.
But aren’t Petty’s two most famous songs Refugee and Don’t Come Around Here No More? He can’t play those. Won’t Back Down and Free Falling would be good mid-career hits, but both would sound kind of slow in that setting. So I agree that Running Down a Dream is a likely choice. I would recommend American Girl, except that I’m afraid it would lead to some kind of cheesy T&A parade of extras.
I just don’t know. I agree that he’s an odd choice. I’m a big fan, and I hope it turns out well for him.
What Tom will probably wear:
1. Leather fringe jacket
2. Sneakers
3. Jeans
4. Some T-shirt with an anti-commercialization of Rock slogan (oh, the -unintended- irony!)
What I wish he’d wear:
1. An “Up With People” T-shirt
All this Stupidbowl (copyright Mockcarr Enterprises, Inc.) palaver makes me want to share:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39118
I read somewhere that the NFL asked Petty to NOT play “You Don’t Know How It Feels” because of the “roll another joint” reference.
I’d get a kick out of it if Petty pulled an “Elvis Costello-on-SNL” move by starting “Free Falling” and then abruptly stopping the band and starting “You Don’t Know…”. Then the cameramen can pan to to Roger Goodell’s bunker (I mean club box seat) to watch him choke on his hot dog.
At least it will be as exciting (if not more) than the “Pro Football Championship Game” (sorry, I can’t afford it if the NFL catched me calling the game by it’s real name).
That’s a good Onion piece, but I dock them style points for forgetting that the keyboard player for the Shufflin’ Crew was Tyrone Keys. That Bears team planned for everything.
It turns out, apparently, that Petty and the Heartbreakers were the second choice for the Super Bowl after The Eagles said no. I think he’ll end up doing fine, but even if Petty’s songs turn out to be not quite the best fit for this kind of setting, he still has the distinct advantage of not being The Eagles.
You Wreck Me might be up-tempo and well-known enough to be a good second song, after American Girl. Runnin’ Down a Dream closes, if for no other reason than that’s the name of the DVD set.
Dusty’s complaining that they didn’t get invited to play at the BCS championship game.
Tom Petty Super Bowl set sleeper candidate:
The Waiting.
Oooh, I’d love to hear “The Waiting”! Last night I was watching some recent Petty concert in hi-def on PBS. I was amazed at how full his hits catalog is. It was a pretty star-studded setlist, although unless I blinked, I don’t think he played “Breakdown”. The times they-have-a-changed. That was his staple when I was a lad.
Anyhow, he played some song from a recent album that really sucked. It was an amalgamation of early-70s Stones dabblings in post-60s blues revivalism: a dash of “Hip Shake”, an almost wholesale lift in the verse from some melody I couldn’t quite pin down, a harmonica solo, etc. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the source materials used in this song, but the chorus resorted to some really predictable Petty chord changes, which were out of place and struck me as lazy.
Anyhow, I flipped away for a minute, and when I came back they were playing an almost note-for-note version of The Yardbirds’ version of “I’m a Man”. They followed this up with a similarly reverant cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Oh Well” (I think that’s the title – you know, the early-period song with the couplets and killer guitar riff for punctuation).
Anyhow…beside appreciating Petty’s use of a “reference list” immediately following his original that worked in this vein, it got me wondering whether he’d do one of these covers at the Super Bowl. Didn’t Prince do a cover or two? Maybe the cover song is becoming part of the show at the Super Bowl Halftime Extravaganza. Stay tuned: we’re talking about getting into some HOT, LIVE BLOGGING ACTION during this year’s halftime show. We did it last year, and it was a good time.