Jan 212008
 

There are lots of pop artists out there that I’m supposed to like but don’t — and the ratio of pop idols I’m supposed to like versus pop idols I actually like diminishes with each year I advance in decrepitude.

However! While on my recent holidays in Uruguay, I rediscovered a global superstar I had long since tossed on the cultural garbage pile, and discovered that I liked her! In fact, I don’t just like this new, mysteriously improved Kylie Minogue — I really like her. And not just because of the INCREDIBLY HOT cat-suit she prances around in, or the panty flash we get at 1:50 into the above video. No, I actually really like this song of hers. Yeah, it’s derivative. Yeah, there’s nothing new here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t care. I love this song!

HVB

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  30 Responses to “I Fell In Love With Kylie Minogue!”

  1. I love her too.
    She’s hotter than Debbie Harry used to be.
    She’s not annoying like Madonna.
    She was never married to Lemmy.
    She’s not all corporate like Gwen Stefani.
    I just covered ‘Cant get u outta my Head’ at my last 2 shows.
    It felt so good.

  2. sammymaudlin

    That wasn’t a panty flash! You liar.

  3. Mr. Moderator

    Yeah, that was hear bodysuit showing, HVB. Rip off!

    Was it the classy introduction that captured your fancy, the brief gear fetish shots, or the butterfly thing on the one musician’s face? In my opinion, although this song didn’t suck, I don’t find it anywhere near as catchy as similar songs, like that one by the Canadian woman who’s married to the old AC/DC producer, you know, with the video that mocks the classic Robert Palmer video. This was no “I Touch Myself”. But, of course, that’s only my opinion. Are you hungering for a revival of RTH’s brief-lived Hot Rocks

  4. A writer I know, a novelist, playwright, and poet, has been fascinated with Kylie for some years now, and he has a book of poems coming out in which Kylie appears in every single one. It’s a camp thing, partly, but his fascination also feels genuine. I’d love to hear some thoughts on why people get obsessed with her.

  5. She blows. Less corporate than Gwen? Yeah, right. Give me the Hollaback girl any day. Sammy, if there’s any money left in the back office tech budget, introduce Ms. Minogue to the Zebra.

  6. Mr. Moderator

    Townsman Mwall asked:

    I’d love to hear some thoughts on why people get obsessed with her.

    I think it’s her perennial “runner-up” status among glamorous modern-day disco queens. For all the rock nerds who know they’ll never “have” Madonna, Gwen, et al, Kylie is the accessible – at least on a fantasy level – pop queen. She’s the Faces to the Stones, or in Stones album terms, the Between the Buttons to Let it Bleed. She’s “approachable” – at least on a fantasy level. My guess is there are rock nerds out there who are intimidated by even fantasizing about Madonna. Kylie may not reject us – in our dreams. She’s the disco queen you could conceivably take home to Mom.

  7. Mr. Moderator

    Man up, Chickenfrank! I’m with you.

  8. hrrundivbakshi

    Huh? Kylie is the disco queen you could take home to mom?! Observe:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=WYy3BKn1SZE

    Of course, then there’s this:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=C0ME-6vh-4g

  9. Mr. Moderator

    What are you trying to make me watch, more third-rate Madonna videos? Read my entire response to Mwall’s question. Again. Rather than pulling out one analogy at the end of some insightful commentary, pay more attention to the points regarding her “underdog” status. Rock nerds think they’re making the cooler choice among disco queens. I say it’s the safer choice. Risk rejection! Go for the gusto, if you really need to go down that path.

  10. Mr. Moderator

    Oh man, to be fair I just sampled your Kylinks. The second one said WAY TOO MUCH about WAY TOO MANY THINGS! I now feel really dirty. Let me go listen to those John Phillips traxx again.

  11. hrrundivbakshi

    GOTCHA!

  12. hrrundivbakshi

    The second of those videos is indeed much, much dirtier and offensive than the first.

  13. Mr. Mod, speaking as someone who knows nothing about KM, and who hasn’t yet even watched the videos here supplied, I think you’re on to something. Her (relative) failure as world famous pop diva makes her into a cult pop diva. From my position of a total lack of information, I buy that argument.

  14. Mr. Moderator

    Yes, HVB, I agree. I’d heavily caution anyone at work or around young children against watching that second video. Wait until you’re by yourself, with the shades drawn.

  15. hrrundivbakshi

    Mwall, if the hallowed halls aren’t a place for people to admit total ignorance and *then* opine about something, then I don’t know why we’re all here.

    For the record, KM is in fact a worldwide freaking megastar of the freaking-est order. She’s one of those “it’s a mystery why she never became huge in the States” people, like Robbie Williams, but then some.

    BTW, none of this is being said to bust your chops.

  16. Mr. Moderator

    HVB wrote:

    For the record, KM is in fact a worldwide freaking megastar of the freaking-est order. She’s one of those “it’s a mystery why she never became huge in the States” people, like Robbie Williams, but then some.

    My friend, perhaps it’s sad to acknowledge, but we are NOT the world. We have no use for Minogue because we have dozens of superior disco bimbos. No offense to our friends Down Under and their more law-abiding brethern off the coast of Europe, but COME ON, already! If I want a pale Aussie import for imaginary comfort, I don’t need her to sing. Christ, we’re getting Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts from our friends Down Under, and they don’t burden us with third-rate Madonna tunes between flashes of leotard.

  17. Actually, I knew KM was a mega-star many places other than the USA, but also that here she’s often little more than a rumor. Other than that I’m content to stay in the dark about her the range of her plastic charms.

  18. After watching that second video, I’m thinking (1) with a billion dollars, you’d think Macca could buy a better hair dye and (2) but maybe he’s tapped out after obviously spending so much on plastic surgery.

  19. No offense to our friends Down Under

    Don’t look at me. When she hit #1 in 1987 with this piece of absolute dreck,

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZBZkpcBsQ

    my only reaction was one of contempt. It was obvious no-one tried, from the anonymous synth backing to the off-the-shelf choice of cover.

    Luckily her audience is largely teenage girls and gay men, neither of which are remotely discerning when it comes to quality, as long as the girl in question can be a aspirational fantasy of what they wish they were.

    Although, i was horrified in 1997 to realise I liked this one,

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRwQlxCmenk

    but it flopped, and normal crap service was quickly resumed.

  20. I like the song HVB posted and think I can see why he likes it too. It has a bit of a glam-by-way-of-Jellyfish flavor, but with a hot girl singing. Works for me.

  21. Mr. Moderator

    Funny you mention Jellyfish, Oats. I seriously spent a few minutes this morning trying to work some jason Falkner knocks into my initial response. I didn’t think I was knowledgeable enough to accurately poke the fun I sensed was there for the pokin’.

  22. hrrundivbakshi

    No, Oats (as usual) is right. What this song sounds like, more than anything, is Roger Manning’s post-JF band, Imperial Drag. Which was basically a glam Jellyfish. One or two good songs, the rest crap — like Kylie!

  23. who likes Goldfrapp?

  24. general slocum

    who likes Goldfrapp?

    I love her voice, and the guy has a great cheap-shot radar for catchy bass synth sounds. Always a one-two punch for me. They’re awful pot-heads. Well, sorry, gang, I guess I mean they’re exemplary pot-heads. Usually that makes people’s music annoying to me, but not here for some reason. And why don’t they go into my Guilty Pleasure file? I have no idea. More explicit sexual material, maybe? Or more airplay? As it is, I just listen and enjoy. They don’t feel the need to add the cacophonous apologia so many New Electronicists do. Broadcast, Ladytron, Metric. A lot of these folks take a killer dance electro groove, and then put some distorted wave-sound on there, seemingly to assure their hip audience that they’re not *really* playing disco, but are so disaffected that they don’t even *care* if the VU meter is pegging. A cheezy caveat, IMO. It’s like drawing a mustache on your seventies Cheryl Tiegs poster so you can appreciate her goodies without losing some obscure socio-aesthetic cred… Goldfrapp lets it sound purdy. I have mostly downloaded them, but they seem to do their mustache drawing on their CD covers. Hideous.

  25. They don’t feel the need to add the cacophonous apologia so many New Electronicists do. Broadcast, Ladytron, Metric. A lot of these folks take a killer dance electro groove, and then put some distorted wave-sound on there, seemingly to assure their hip audience that they’re not *really* playing disco, but are so disaffected that they don’t even *care* if the VU meter is pegging. A cheezy caveat, IMO. It’s like drawing a mustache on your seventies Cheryl Tiegs poster so you can appreciate her goodies without losing some obscure socio-aesthetic cred… Goldfrapp lets it sound purdy. I have mostly downloaded them, but they seem to do their mustache drawing on their CD covers. Hideous.

    I call bullshit on this. I won’t comment on Goldfrapp since I’ve knowingly ever heard one or two of their songs, but as for Broadcast? I’ll admit that my familiarity with them is based mostly on their great 1st album The Noise Made by People. It has almost nothing at all to do with disco and everything to do with droll but very pretty female vocals over music that’s somewhere between trip-hop and uh, Stereolab or something like that.

    Metric definitely took a more rock-oriented turn on their last album Live It Out, but when I saw them play here a few months ago, it’s apparent that the new songs will be more disco-y than ever. Also, and this is important, they’re a hybrid! The mixture of punk and disco has been around since the late ’70s or very early ’80s depending upon what time you draw the demarcation line (i.e what recording you think started it). It’s not supposed to be all pretty! That’s the point! But it’s still fun and occasionally danceable, even if Emily Haines is singing about consumerism and alienation.

    As for Ladytron, they’re pretty heavy duty early ’80s electro, all put on, dead-pan, almost robotic voices, etc. so I don’t think you can call them “disco”, either.

    I think this post is an example of the atttitude too often prevalent on here that’s fearful of things that are “too arty”. I’m quite aware that it was written by someone who leads an orchestra/collective, which is somewhat ironic, but I fail to see another interpretation of it. Yeah they went to art school (well Emily Haines of Metric did anyway; dunno about the others). Deal with it. So did Pete Townshend, John Lennon, Joe Strummer, Andy Partridge and other beloved figures here in the hallowed halls of RTH.

    Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a silly song with a catchy melody (in fact I like plenty of them), but you incorrectly assume that given their “natural” impulses, people would pick something simple over something a little more complicated. Ugh. That’s like saying that Freaks and Geeks or Arrested Development are bad shows because they require more thought than most of what was on TV at the time (and most of what still is). Why should it be a choice of one or the other, “democratic” disco vs. the “elite” of Metric, Ladytron, etc. I just don’t get it.

  26. Good call on Imperial Drag, Hrrundivbakshi. That album was a huge disappointment. A few good songs and a bunch of half-baked, over-arranged crap, (and i gave it more than enough listening time to make that call).

    I couldn’t even get excited by the fact that apparantly the Australian release of the album differs greatly from the US, and is highly sort after by Imperial Drag Fan [intentional sic].

  27. general slocum

    Mr. Berlyant kvetches:
    I think this post is an example of the atttitude too often prevalent on here that’s fearful of things that are “too arty”. I’m quite aware that it was written by someone who leads an orchestra/collective, which is somewhat ironic, but I fail to see another interpretation of it. Yeah they went to art school (well Emily Haines of Metric did anyway; dunno about the others). Deal with it. So did Pete Townshend, John Lennon, Joe Strummer, Andy Partridge and other beloved figures here in the hallowed halls of RTH.

    I tut-tut:
    Now, see here, young fellow! You’ve missed the point, here. I’m saying these artists ARE making pretty tunes, whether they’re disco-accessible, or 80s New Romantic OMD accessible, or what have you. The things put on to uglify them are almost all superficial curlicues. If it is meant to be old-school electronica mixed with punk rock, I would suggest that in the cases of Metric, Ladytron, and Broadcast, the punk idea is only represented by the merest wrapping-paper. This is what I termed “mustache drawing.” These songs *don’t* require more thought than prettier songs! I feel like Ladytron gets beyond this sometimes, by dint of having heftier lyrics. Goldfrapp is all comfort, sex, and lush futurism.
    And you are on the right track with me. Going to art school only sets my bullshit detector on standby. Some of my favorite music is made by failed exiles from other realms. Of course fops and assholes are distributed across most of life’s arenas in equal proportion, with those in art school only being showier than most. My suspicion of the Metric gal is that she might’ve left art school over an inability to draw hands, for example. Because she’s not quite the font of industry in the lyric department, either!
    No one gets a Get Out of Art School Free card from me around here, nor does anyone get inordinately busted on for it. Unless their art is found to be on a level of early Hitler, in which case I would judge it on its own merits.
    Anyhow, sorry if I haven’t illuminated my point clearly. It’s an offshoot of my take on a lot of composers these days in the “Brahms is dead? I didn’t even know he was sick” school of mush. From Ned Rorem to the poet Sir Paul McCartney, a lot of folks write comfy heartwarming hallmark cards, and then draw a mustache on it, usually consisting of some minor seconds, an odd juxtaposition, or a meter change – seemingly intended to remind the listener that the piece is indeed from the 21st, and not the 19th century. Just write your musical Ambien, and don’t apologize. Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.

  28. alexmagic

    I probably wouldn’t have made the Imperial Drag connection with this song, but I can hear it, I guess. I actually just stumbled upon the Imperial Drag album again yesterday while reorganizing some CDs, and have given it a fair share of listens over the years before coming away with the same feeling of it having good ideas, but not much more. Maybe I’ll listen to it again.

    Are there full-fledged Imperial Drag fans? Admittedly, Roger Manning Jr. is probably one of the top five or ten cape-wearing musicians of all time, if just by default. Assuming you block out the top to spots for James Brown and Elvis, of course.

  29. I feel like Ladytron gets beyond this sometimes, by dint of having heftier lyrics. Goldfrapp is all comfort, sex, and lush futurism.

    Ladytron’s lyrics never made much of an impression on me, so I’ll have to trust you here. With Metric, on the other hand, you’re underrating Emily Haines as a lyricist. I mean she not may be Bob Dylan or Joni Mitchell or someone like that, but I like that there’s substance behind what she’s doing. Perhaps that’s my bias, but that’s the way I see it. Like I said, I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with silly love songs as a general rule or on priniciple, but I just tend to go for things with twists (i.e. the “mustaches” you cite).

    Regardless, if you don’t think these artists are pushing the envelope far enough, well then that’s an entirely different argument. Thanks for replying to my rant in any case.

  30. general slocum

    Oh, Hrrundie. I’m just now catching up with these vids and posts and all. Gee, I just can’t get all het up over this Kylie vid. The look, the voice, give me Ms. Quatro and her lack of heterosexuality any day. Where’s the beef?

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