Sep 232008
Get the message?
We’ve all been there. The party’s long over. A couple of guests don’t seem to notice that you’ve been yawning for a half hour while beginning the task of straightening up a bit before hitting the sack and resuming clean up in the morning. It’s time to leave, but you can’t just tell your friends to scram. Instead, you pull out that special album that hips even the most oblivious houseguest that it’s time to go home. What’s your ace-in-the-hole room-clearing record?
Ornette Coleman, Dancing In Your Head
When we had our cafe in West Philly, there would usually be this groovy late-night settling in vibe going, and if people were nice, we’d usually leave them be a while. But some nights, they were such dicks, and I would put on a special mix tape I had made. Now, obviously, it’s easier to offend oafs, buffoons, Ivy League Assholes, and what have you, but my mix had some Iannis Xenakis, Anthony Braxton, Heldon, and some things that aren’t hard to hear, maybe but just serve as wake-up losenges in between, like Uriah Heep live, Einstein On the Beach, Buttholes early, rammy songs. And, as Steve shows, any discussion of annoying listening is going to get to Ornette. It’s like name checking Chekov.
I once again quote the late great Rich Jeni:
“You ever want people to leave at the end of the party, just put on ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.’
“And a wave hit the boat and they all drowned like rats
And they lay there as their lungs filled with waterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
And back on the shore their wives had no insurance
And their children turned to drugs and prostitu-shuuuuuuuuuuunnnn
“Nee-neer-nee-nee-neer-neer-ne-neer-ne-ne-neer…”
Mr Mod – this involves our friend in Chicago – Pat
We were over their house for a little get-together and apparently, after a couple of hours, Pat wanted us to go. He pulls out the B-52’s “Love Shack” remix CD and puts it on. 7 different mixes of Love Shack cleared the house.
Ah, my close personal friend Pat! He sends his regards, by the way.
Would the Backoffice know Pat?
I find anything that abruptly changes the mood, coupled with a distinct brightening of the environment (i.e., switching on a few more lights), serves the purpose. That, and starting to clean up. But to be specific: maybe a jaunty Henry Mancini soundtrack, or a big band comp. You have to treat your party like any other form of entertainment. When it’s over, the lights come up, and the music becomes whiter.
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald would worry me. There’s at least a small chance that turns into a drunken asshole singalong song, like Piano Man. And drunk people singing along to Piano Man is the ultimate sign that you’re in the wrong place and need to leave immediately.
Funny to see Big Steve’s comment – my first thought was John Zorn’s “Spy vs Spy”, which is two saxophones and two drummers blazing their way through Ornette Coleman tunes.
In my good ol record store days, we had a small arsenal for clearing the store when it was closing time.
Ornette or latter Miles are always good for quizzical looks.
Funny enough Arthur by The Kinks seemed to get a negative response.
I do like Metallica, but one kid insisted on playing the Justice album one Saturday afternoon. It was so inappropriate that I was even uncomfortable. He was a total metalhead. He was determined to play King Diamond. Ugh.
TB
Jandek. I got a stack of his albums from a college radio station for bringing in a few cool Roxy music Boots for them to play during their Roxy Music marathon one year. They let me take as many albums from this big box as I wanted, and they gave me ALL the Jandek albums.
I put one on, and it even made me leave the room.
You’re approaching this all wrong. Nobody’s leaving if there is still beer left. Hide the beer.
A lot of different albums can serve this need, depending on the time and place. I have one friend who, once he gets too drunk, is masterful at putting on music that can make all the women leave a party within a few minutes, and he has to be kept away from the stereo in such situations. Anything with a variety of screeching guitar feedback will do the trick, and he knows just how to find those albums even in a very large collection of other people’s music.
I once had a friend/former bandmate that’s a little, uh, annoying. He’s a big fan of a acoustic-type, happy pop stuff. His favorite band was/is The Ocean Blue, which is fine enough, but a whole lot of that stuff goes a long way. One day he was at the house annoying. To run him off, I started balring Live At Leeds. He couldn’t dig on all that hard, sloppy rockin’. It didn’t hurt for me to turn the volume to 11.
TB
Isn’t the Ocean Blue the band that kicked out one of its members after he came out? You’d think that being gay was a prerequisite for being in the Ocean Blue.
I saw them once. The Ocean Blew.
nothing makes a bunch of douchey hipsters leave as quickly as the gambler by kenny rodgers.
In my usual circles, and if I had any, Andrew Lloyd Webber soundtracks would probably do the trick. You want to be careful if you are clearing the room of friends. If you put on something by, say, Dar Williams, they might never speak to you again. Hell, I’d never speak to me again after a stunt like that.
Dylan usually chases off the right people and leaves the folks who should stay until sunrise.
Peek-a-boo by DEVO?
Who wants to put together the “Chase everyone else away but still enjoy the music personally” playlist?
Jungleland2 asked:
Good idea! Townspeople, you may send ONE party-clearing .mp3 EACH to my gmail account: headstache [at] gmail [dot] com. I’ll compile them and throw them up there for us all to download. Thanks!
We’ve received one party-clearing contribution so far. How ’bout a baker’s dozen of stuff to drive even the most oblivious party guest outta there?
Send your contributions to:
headstache [at] gmail [dot] com
I’ll review Charity’s albums of Tuvan throat singers for a representative example of the style. I love it, but I can definitely see it as a room clearer.
Sounds helpful, Great One! Thanks. I’ve got 4 submissions so far. Let’s get the party started so that we can see how effectively we end it.