Ah, the path never taken. I was pondering this notion of the career arc that *might have been* had it not been for the untimely death of (insert iconic rock artist here), and ended up pondering something else completely. Forget the notion of what might have been had these artists’ passing not come too early. Let’s imagine what these artists’ careers might have looked like had they never played music in the first place!
Please scan the following list of artists and imagine what professional path would have suited their skill set best had they not heard the siren call of music:
1. David Lee Roth
2. Keith Richards
3. Sly Stone
4. Paul McCartney
5. Buddy Holly
6. Freddie Mercury
7. Stevie Wonder
8. Prince
9. Lemmy
10. Bob Seger
I look forward to your responses.
HVB
1. David Lee Roth-Suit Salesman
2. Keith Richards-Drug Dealer
3. Sly Stone-Drug Dealer
4. Paul McCartney-Music Teacher
5. Buddy Holly-Bartender
6. Freddie Mercury-Cop
7. Stevie Wonder-Unemployed
8. Prince-Pastry Chef or Hospitality
9. Lemmy-Welder
10. Bob Seger-Welder
1. David Lee Roth – Ringmaster
2. Keith Richards – Some menial white-collar job, where he’d have a terrible attitude and get fired a lot
3. Sly Stone – Village idiot
4. Paul McCartney – Social studies teacher
5. Buddy Holly – Appliance store employee
6. Freddie Mercury – Concierge
7. Stevie Wonder – Irritating new age poet
8. Prince – Fast-food entrepreneur
9. Lemmy – Thug
10. Bob Seger – Product line supervisor, auto parts
1. David Lee Roth- Karate Sensei
2. Keith Richards- Grifter
3. Sly Stone- Character Actor
4. Paul McCartney- K-8 Teacher
5. Buddy Holly- Door-to-door salesman
6. Freddie Mercury- Consulate worker
7. Stevie Wonder- PBS host
8. Prince- IT tech
9. Lemmy- Model for Harley catalogs
10. Bob Seger- Union rep
1. David Lee Roth: pharmaceutical sales
2. Keith Richards: merchant marine
3. Sly Stone: Hustler of some sort or another
4. Paul McCartney: advertising executive
5. Buddy Holly: appliance salesman
6. Freddie Mercury: waiter
7. Stevie Wonder: grade school teacher
8. Prince: hairdresser
9. Lemmy: creepy night-shift security guard
10. Bob Seger: liquor store owner
These answers are excellent!
I especially like:
– Lemmy the creepy night-shift security guy
– Seger the union rep
– Prince the pastry chef
without reading other answers…
1. David Lee Roth-Used Car Salesman
2. Keith Richards – Unemployed Freeloading Drunken Uncle with Shady Background.
3. Sly Stone- Brother who never left the nest who collects a disability check.
4. Paul McCartney- Guidance Counselor.
5. Buddy Holly- Shrink.
6. Freddie Mercury- Fosse Inspired Dance Instructor who just can’t seem to get that Broadway Choreography gig.
7. Stevie Wonder- Sesame Street Writer.
8. Prince- Fashionista.
9. Lemmy- “You want chips with that?”
10. Bob Seger- “You want fries with that?”
I will put them all in medicine:
1. David Lee Roth – Gynecologist
2. Keith Richards – Pathologist
3. Sly Stone – Physical Therapist
4. Paul McCartney – Cardiologist
5. Buddy Holly – Opthamologist
6. Freddie Mercury – Proctologist
7. Stevie Wonder – School Psychiatrist
8. Prince – Dermatologist
9. Lemmy – Emergency Room Chief Resident
10. Bob Seger – Urologist
1. David Lee Roth: Extreme Sherpa
2. Keith Richards: Tattoo artist
3. Sly Stone: Pimp
4. Paul McCartney: Pediatrician
5. Buddy Holly: Telesales for Wernham Hogg Paper Company
6. Freddie Mercury: Speech pathologist
7. Stevie Wonder: Pencils-in-a-cup sales
8. Prince: Dishwasher at high-end eatery
9. Lemmy: Elementary school janitor
10. Bob Seger: Jiffy Lube Manager
Larry Kirwan from the band “Black 47” wrote a play (and novel) called “Liverpool Fantasy” based on the “what if” of the Beatles breaking up in 1962. He has McCartney becoming a lounge singer.
http://theater2.nytimes.com/mem/theater/treview.html
Admission: I haven’t read this, I’m just aware of it.
I don’t know if I could beat Mod’s answers, but I’ll bite…
1. David Lee Roth–radio talk show host/shock jock
2. Keith Richards–actor, gains noteriety for playing the role of Jack Sparrow in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean live-action films
3. Sly Stone–plays lovable sit com character before disappearing into substance abuse
4. Paul McCartney–trumpet player…oh, wait…it can’t be music…he’d write children’s books
5. Buddy Holly–Furniture saleman. Buddy’s Furniture and Mattresses
6. Freddie Mercury–Tailor
7. Stevie Wonder–Civil Rights activist
8. Prince–Painter…like fine arts, not house painter…
9. Lemmy–Plumber…no wait…he’d be a carny, working on of the many games/scams on the midway
10. Bob Seger–He’d be the guy who stands in front of the strip club (on Main Street) trying to get you in the club. The barker?
TB
1. David Lee Roth – Adam West Batman Villain
2. Keith Richards – dock worker with a gambling problem, gets an eye cut out for not paying his debts, doesn’t really mind
3. Sly Stone – lion tamer
4. Paul McCartney – avant garde artist
5. Buddy Holly – clock tower sniper
6. Freddie Mercury – dentist
7. Stevie Wonder – competitive eater
8. Prince – influential but penniless underground comic book artist
9. Lemmy – British Prime Minister, circa 1885-1905
10. Bob Seger – Drifter paid by former GM CEO Roger Smith to beat Michael Moore to death with tire iron in 1989
If McCartney had been an avant garde artist he definitely would have banged Yoko first!
1. David Lee Roth – Professional Wrestling Manager (the shock jock thing obviously didn’t work for him)
2. Keith Richards – homeless guy
3. Sly Stone – fashion designer
4. Paul McCartney – small town mayor
5. Buddy Holly – electrician (wasn’t that his old man’s business?)
6. Freddie Mercury – military man
7. Stevie Wonder – Greeting card writer
8. Prince – personal life coach
9. Lemmy – bouncer
10. Bob Seger – paralegal
I can’t comment on the Nick Lowe thread because it’s not displaying properly. Clicking on Read More or Send Comment sends me to “Sorry, there is nothing to display…”
Not that this is a contest — but if it were, buskirk would be WAY in the lead. Stevie Wonder the greeting card writer and Paul McCartney the small-town mayor are both particularly serious winners.
1. David Lee Roth – Unemployed guy that falls asleep at the bar at 4:30 PM.
2. Keith Richards – Restaurant owner, specializing in Shepherd’s Pie.
3. Sly Stone – Black Panther Party Planner
4. Paul McCartney – Homeless guy with 10,000 a month in alimony to six ex wives.
5. Buddy Holly – Sound Engineer for the Nightly Lubbock News Hour.
6. Freddie Mercury – Character actor in John Waters films, aspiring to become Steve Buscemi.
7. Stevie Wonder – English Teacher, specializing in poetry at Wayne State University.
8. Prince – Punching bag at rodeo shows.
9. Lemmy – Cocoa Puff Quality Inspector
10. Bob Seger – Incredibly average Union shop steward. Never makes things worse intentionally, but never makes things better, either. Buys first round every payday.
If Seger bought the first round every payday it would make my union job better.