I know that some of you have been dedicating your time-wasting efforts to Facebook. That’s cool. I have also been making some time to help this social networking site jump the shark. Everybody needs the chance to rub virtual elbows with “friends” you otherwise wouldn’t have made the effort to stay in touch with, as proven by the fact that before Facebook you had not been in touch with them for the past 5 to 10 years.
I know, too, that there’s a desire to allow various “apps” into our web-interactive lives to enable us to share personal details with friends, such as our 5 Movies That Shaped My Breakfast Choice This Morning and our 5 Movies That We Thought About While Taking a Dump Later in the Afternoon. Some of the apps are pretty cool, allowing us to easily embed album cover or DVD box images into our lists. It’s not so easy to do things like that in the Halls of Rock, and beside, Mr. DogModic himself frowns on the posting of too many lists without supporting thoughts. He thinks we can do more than that. He thinks we should provide each other opportunities for disagreements, tangents, and the like. Shoot, this place doesn’t even allow us the option of clicking on a little “thumb’s up” icon. WTF?!?!
Do not despair: I hear you, Facebook-inquisitive Townspeople! As focused and unwavering as you may think I am in encouraging us to meet the objectives of Rock Town Hall, I’m a bigger and baser man than that. I don’t want you wasting your hard-earned blow-off time on other sites when you could be here, not only rubbing virtual elbows with knowledgeable, interesting, humorous rock nerds but skinning virtual knees and elbows as you dive for the loose balls of rock criticism! In this bigger and baser spirit, I offer you Rock Town Hall’s first quiz, the What Townsperson Are You? quiz. Our apps are not yet as advanced as those you might have found so engaging on Facebook, but answer the following questions and within 24 hours of your submission our specially devised Rock Town Hall apps will spit out the answer you’ve been secretly dying to know!
1. If a new friend had REM’s Lifes Rich Pageant sitting among a stack of records in front of the stereo the first time you went to his or her place you would:
a) Say, “Hey, great record!”
b) Immediately ask to see a copy of the original 45 of “Radio Free Europe,” if only to brag that you own it.
c) See an opportunity to start talking about 10,000 Maniacs.
d) Make sure to give your friend shit about this for eternity, or at least until the time when said friend finally admits to having owned that record in the budding days of your friendship.
2. You are granted one wish, specifically, to restore one band member to the Rolling Stones. You choose:
a) Brian Jones
b) Mick Taylor
c) Bill Wyman
d) Dick Taylor
3. You are about to be sent to a remote island for a 5-year stay. Along with a change of clothes and a toothbrush, you may pack a Close ‘N Play record player and choose one set of three albums among the following list:
a) Prince, Purple Reign; ELO, A New World’s Record; ZZ Top, Tres Hombres
b) The Clash, London Calling; Elvis Costello, Get Happy!!; The Beatles, Revolver
c) The Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street; George Harrison, All Things Must Pass; The Clash, Sandinista
d) Jackson Browne, Late for the Sky; Townes Van Zandt, Delta Momma Blues; Love, Forever Changes
4. You can be any of the following characters in Mr. Mod’s least-favorite rock flick, Almost Famous. Who’s it gonna be?
a) Russell Hammond (Billy Crudup)
b) Penny Lane (Kate Hudson)
c) William Miller (aka the kid, William Fugit)
d) Lester Bangs (aka what is likely to be the obvious choice)
e) Elaine Miller (aka the mom, Frances McDormand)
5. When is the last time you spun that big Outkast record?
a) Within the last 3 months.
b) Within the last year.
c) Within the last 3 years.
d) Fuck you, Mod!
Thank you for taking this Rock Town Hall quiz. Your answers will be tallied within 24 hours of submission. We appreciate your patience as demand for these answers is expected to be high.
1. (a) is closest, but I would have to probably add that the mumbley stuff was better.
2. (a) I hope this set of answers doesn’t end up looking like Fonzie’s.
3. (b) Whew, that wasn’t even close actually.
4. (d) Ok, that was boring. In reality, I think I’d be the guy who had to clean the pool after that party scene.
5. (d) Are you kidding? My nut satchel would be full of dust if Michelle ever caught me listening to an album with that cover.
Mockcarr took What Townsperson Are You? quiz and the result is E. Pluribus Gergely:
Independent and intelligent. Classy and spirited. When you have a goal in mind, you almost always start working for it now. You rarely put things off. Most everyone likes you, if not, they are jealous of your abilities and good looks. You are fastidious; you hate being dirty. You are often very oral in times of great joy or sorrow.
Aha! I’ll bite here…
My answers:
1. A.
2. A.
3. B.
4. D. (of course)
5. B.
I look forward to finding out who I am so I can post it over on my Facebook profile. Facebook–Myspace for grownups OR the place where you can find out what happened to that fugly girl from high school and what she plans to eat for dinning. Not to mention the painfully detailed account of her deciding on this meal. Believe me, I sleep much better at night. I can’t wait to tell all my “friends” which Townsperson I am!
TB
lateleydavidband took What Townsperson Are You? quiz and the result is Andyr:
You are a very light-hearted person. You are genuine, gentle, and caring. You are from a suburb of Philadelphia and you love bass and drum parts dearly. However, you tend to walk around with your head in the clouds and are often laughed at – respectfully – because of it. Don’t worry though, you don’t pay enough attention to notice. “My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better your music gets, unless you’re a rock ‘n roller or dashiki-wearing jazz cat.'”
1. I probably wouldn’t say anything. If there is a band you love, don’t you give them a free pass for a few albums before you give up? This would be within that threshold. Then again, I once dated a woman who owned one Stones album: Bridges to Babylon, and I said nothing. So ultimately, the answer is: depends on if I had an agenda with said “new friend”.
2. Mick Taylor
3. B. No question, not even close.
4. I have no idea. C, “the kid”.
5. Which is the big one? Love Below? Overrated.
6. Bonus answer: Which musical dynamic is more frustrating/less satisfying:
Band that has an obligatory reggae song, or other style different from the band’s usual sound, usually instigated by a “lesser” band member who takes a particular interest in this “other genre”.
1. B
2. B
3. B
4. D
5. C
cherguevara took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is northvancovemen:
Very high appeal. One of a kind. Enthusiastic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling stories.
Oats took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is Oats:
Sincere, straightforward, thoughtful, with a wry sense of humor. You represent all that is good about the slightly younger generation of rock nerds. Your Rock Town Hall ally is Alexmagic. Your RTH achilles heel is Pulp.
1. D (by default of none of the others applying and general history of shit-givery)
2. B
3. A (it hurt having to pass on the choices that had Revolver and All Things Must Pass, but I could just mentally replay those. A gives me two I’d listen to (Purple Rain, New World Record) and I’d be able to use Tres Hombres to reflect sunlight to start fires and signal rescue planes if I’m bringing these as CDs)
4. A (It’s not asking who you would be, so why bother with the Cs, Ds and Es everybody here surely already is?)
5. A (this is one that Oats could have floated for that overrated-then-underrated topic)
Here’s my answers:
1. A
2. A (you have a picture of the Pretty Things posted instead of the Stones)
3. B
4. D
5. D (I would say never instead of FU)
alexmagic took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is BigSteve:
You are confident, decisive, and pragmatic. You’ve heard it all, yet you value staying just ahead of the curve. You would take special delight in giving E. Pluribus Gergely shit for enternity.
diskojoe took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is Berlyant:
You had to point out that I couldn’t find a picture of Dick Taylor with the Stones, didn’t you?:) Your refusal to add to the Hall’s recent rash of obscenities is admirable. This app regrets resorting to potty talk in an effort to accurately reflect the likely response of a particular Townsman.
1. D
2. A
3. B
4. D
5. D
And I apologize to lateleydavidband for being me!
andyr took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is The Great 48:
You’re not afraid to tell a Townman, especially the Mod, where to stick it! While never overstaying your welcome, you manage to leave a lasting impression.
If it were really me, I would barely answer any of these questions with the possible answers given. Therefore, the person most vaguely like me would answer:
1. A, but not as good as what came before.
2. A
3. C, but mainly for more minutes of music–I’m gonna be stuck there awhile, yes?
4. Yeah, D, whatever.
5.C
mwall took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is E. Pluribus Gergely:
Independent and intelligent. Classy and spirited. When you have a goal in mind, you almost always start working for it now. You rarely put things off. Most everyone likes you, if not, they are jealous of your abilities and good looks. You are fastidious; you hate being dirty. You are often very oral in times of great joy or sorrow.
1. b) But I’d brag that I used to own the 45.
2. b) Mick Taylor was put on this earth to play with the Stones. They got better when he joined and got worse when he left. And it’s not like he’s doing anything else.
3. c) You definitely want multi-disc sets in this scenario, and solitude might lead me to an appreciation of Apple Jam. d) was tempting, but you don’t bring any Townes along in a situation like this unless you don’t plan on coming back.
4. d) It’s the obvious choice, and Hoffman’s performance is about the only thing I remember from that movie, though I would love it if my real surname was ‘Crudup.’
5. d) I can’t imagine being that rude to the Mod, but I have never knowingly heard an Outkast song, much less bought or spun their records.
I can’t wait to find out if I’m me.
BigSteve took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is 2000 Man:
Down-to-earth, direct, knowledgeable, and capable of dry, biting wit, your credibility is never an issue in the Halls of Rock. Although you can rock as hard as any Townsperson, you have long resisted the tempations of Led Zeppelin. You manage to fly the flag for “old time music” without ever seeming like an old fart. Except when it comes to that big Outkast album.
1. a
2. a (though I almost picked b here)
3. b (wow that one wasn’t even close)
4. c
5. a (ok but this is only because it was playing on our upstairs’ neighbors’ iPod last Saturday while I was outside hanging out with them as they were having a porch sale, so I don’t know if it counts; I haven’t spun it voluntarily for at least 4 years, at least not that I can remember)
1.) D — though I’d prefer to damn the record, and my friend, with faint praise. Unless I knew him/her well; I can see telling Mockcarr that the album pretty much sucks.
2.) B — What BigSteve said.
3.) C — Five years? I need a lot of music, a lot of belly-button staring and a lot of stylistic variety to tide me over.
4.) C — Seems to me the kid actually discovered something along the way. Discovery is a good thing.
5.) A — Had some of this album pop up on the iPhone the other day while I was gardening; loved it!
berlyant took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is berlyant:
I was going to say hrrundivbakshi. (However, your liberal use of parenthetical asides mark you as a most polite-yet-persistent rock watchdog of the highest order!)
hrrundivbakshi took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is hrrundivbakshi:
Despite the fact that you denied your true nature in your answer to question #3, the reference to performing the gentile, Old World tasks of gardening while using the world’s most advanced piece of consumer technology gave you away as the Hall’s leading Proctomusicologist!
Get this man a Pulitzer.
I wanna play. But mind you I’m friendly with the fella who can tear this joint down with one mouse click.
1. B is closest but I’m not happy with the options.
2. B
3. B
4. I’m going to have to write-in the Zooey Deschanel stewardess character so I could play with myself all day.
5. D
Man, some of these quiz results are really specific! This must be done on some high tech software.
sammymaudlin took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is General Slocum:
You are radiant, happy, whimsical, and daring. Nothing pleases you more than an iPod random shuffle run of Zappa-Hank Williams-Funkadelic-Bartok. What is the equivalent of “vinter” for an esteemed maker of lemonade?
It’s all about the apps, alexmagic.
1) a. No great options on this question, really – you can talk someone into liking something, but never out of it.
2) b. That was their best era.
3) b. The first and last I’d play constantly. I dread the idea of coming back from the island liking Elvis Costello, but if I was there long enough I guess I would. Which iwould be a sign of the psychological toll of prolonged isolation.
4) a. Easy, isn’t it?
5) c. I rarely play anything more than a couple of times.
Rick Massimo took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is dbuskirk:
Soft-spoken but jaded, all-knowing but innocent, you are counted on but never taken for granted. If you were taking the Which Member of the Monkees Are You? quiz you would be “The one who flunked the audition and went onto bigger and better things.”
So Massimo/buskirk is/are Stephen Stills?
1: a) Say, “Hey, great record!”
Why bust chops? It’s an okay record, it is in my collection. I just hope the next record I see isn’t from U2…
2: a) Brian Jones
restore? Heck he could replace any member far as I’m concerned…
3. c) The Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street; George Harrison, All Things Must Pass; The Clash, Sandinista
Wanted FOREVER CHANGES more than any of these but this is the juiciest batch, with songs I’m not tired of yet
4. d) Lester Bangs
He’s probably experienced the best live music
5. b) Within the last year.
I’ve been looking back at our nearly done decade recently…
The app is not programmed to handle follow-up questions. Although that’s how I read the answer, I’m not aware of all the musicians who flunked an audition with The Monkees. Perhaps there were others who went onto bigger, better things, like Timothy B. Schmit or Ed Begley Jr.
dbuskirk took What Townsperson Are You? quiz and the result is E. Pluribus Gergely:
Independent and intelligent. Classy and spirited. When you have a goal in mind, you almost always start working for it now. You rarely put things off. Most everyone likes you, if not, they are jealous of your abilities and good looks. You are fastidious; you hate being dirty. You are often very oral in times of great joy or sorrow.
This is the first time I’ve taken one of these tests and the answer didn’t come back “Al Sharpton”. I think it is because we both take a lot of time on our hair…
Don’t get the idea I’m not a procrastinator just because I happened across this post first, look how long it took me to respond. I’m kind of sorry I can’t be Chester A Arthur in this one.
If Chester A. Arthur ever registers with the Halls of Rock, I’ll see if I can reprogram the app to re-run your result, mockcarr. Your quick response to this quiz was most appreciated!
Please, though, may I request: No poking in RTH.
1. A
2. A
3. C
4. C
5. D
hissing fauna took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is The Great 48:
You’re not afraid to tell a Townman, especially the Mod, where to stick it! While never overstaying your welcome, you manage to leave a lasting impression.
1. D
2. C
3. B
4. E
5. B
geo took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is Mr. Moderator:
Understated and fair balanced, you are ready to forgive but not likely to forget. Like a gentle wind you blow through the Halls of Rock, barely noticed yet surprisingly invigorating. Your subtle skills of moderation encourage a nonjudgmental approach to intelligent rock discussion. Your strength is your power of persuasion. Your weakness is your facility for self-deception.
1) a
2) b
3) c
4) c
5) c
newmradio took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is sammymaudlin:
In a past life you were bobbybittman. In this life you continue to be radiant, happy, whimsical, and daring, yet you also possess the power to reshape the tarnished public perception of David Hasselhoff.
1. – D I guess. I think if it were in the stack in front of the stereo I’d most likely be chiding them about having an Oldies Night the night before. Or I’d tell them to put their records away so they don’t get wrecked.
2. – I think I’d be realistic and wish for Bill Wyman. Some of their later material really isn’t that bad, but without Bill there’s a big dropoff.
3. – C, obviously. Life without Exile? I don’t think so! Can I stiff out the other two and get something else? Maybe two cases of beer and bag of peanuts?
4. – B. William Miller, I guess. He’s still the youngest. Lester would be cool, but he’s all dead now and I’m not ready for that.
5. – D. I don’t have it, nor would I ever have it. I didn’t care much either way about it other than I thought the single was pretty catchy and the Peanuts video for it on YouTube was great.
If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll get to be someone from Philadelphia!
2000 man took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is saturnismine:
All peace, love, and understanding, man, on the surface, but you’re as skilled a rock nerd bulldog as anyone in these Halls. You’re cool with dismissals of beloved rock artists, but you won’t sit quietly when faced with challenges to your Philly cred, your Renaissance art history, or your knowledge of the inner workings of Brother JT.
Damn, I hope I’m not too late.
a
b
c
e
d
A
A
B
E
D
1. D – OBVIOUSLY
2. D – IS THERE REALLY ANY OTHER CHOICE
3. C – AGAIN, NO CHOICES FROM BEFORE 60s or 70s? WTF?
4. B – I’M SECURE ENOUGH IN MY MASCULINITY TO BE A GROUPIE JUNKIE SLAG
5. C – IT WAS A FUN TUNE. I DON’T OWN IT OR ANYTHING, BUT I DIDN’T HATE IT.
cdm took the What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is Sons of Champlin:
In seeking out some tracks and an entire album by Jefferson Airplane last night, I came across an
album by another SF band I’d always heard about but never heard, Sons of Champlin. The album I stumbled across is called Follow Your Heart. After checking it out last night, I’m tempted to say that I’ve finally found a SF band I can sink my teeth into: really soulful singing, nice ensemble playing, little of the melodrama that has always bogged me down with Jefferson Airplane. Along with the title track, I was impressed by “Children Know”, “Before You Right Now”, “Hey Children”, and “Child Continued”.
“In a past life you were bobbybittman. In this life you continue to be radiant, happy, whimsical, and daring, yet you also possess the power to reshape the tarnished public perception of David Hasselhoff.”
-Hilarious! And not too far off… although I’ve been reshaping public perception of these unfairly treated fellows, Phil Collins and Bob Seger.
I’m waiting…..
mrclean took What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is geo:
Not a keystroke wasted, your approach to interactions in the Hall is centered around “teaching moments.” Although too respected to be summoned, Townspeople await your pronouncements on topics involving the Dead, dashiki-wearing jazzmen, and The Mekons.
bobbybittman took the What Townsman Are You? quiz and the result is Dr. John:
You are a friendly and articulate thorn in the side of the RTH establishment. You prefer tweed jackets with patches on the elbows and are curious to explore the early works of England Dan and John Ford Coley. Although you have put aside the rocking toys of your youth, your inner child has kept up his chops.
Uh,… Thanks?
BTW, I’ve never worn a tweed jacket (even metaphorically) in my life, much less one with those silly leather elbow patches.
No disrespect meant to Dr. John, of course. (I’ll need to check the archives on this one, as I’m barely familiar w/the man’s postings.)
Ohhh,….OK. I’m wearing the tweed jacket right now, aren’t I?
“are curious to explore the early works of England Dan and John Ford Coley”…were you aware that Dan Seals died the day before this post, an event that I don’t think either RTH2 or Links mentioned?