Jun 272010
JVM18iJTMZs]
Using more creativity than musical racial stereotypes, see if you can assign an artist to each of the chocolates that are available to press chocolate records.
CHOCOLATES
A. Milk chocolate
B. Dark chocolate
C. White chocolate
D. Chocolate with almonds
E. Semi-sweet chocolate
F. Bittersweet chocolate
G. Unsweetened chocolate
H. Carob (chocolate substitute)
As always, from the entrails, this entails –
A Milk Chocolate – Monkees, confectionary, mass appeal, sugary but tasty in single bites or in American treats, goes well with bananas
B Dark Chocolate – John Lennon, a little bitter at times, strident, rich, has rock anti-oxidants, kids avoid him
C White Chocolate – The Hollies, too damned cloying, an icing more than a snack, a little goes a long way, your teeth go bad listening to it as though you were British
D Chocolate with almonds – Jimi Hendrix, gently nutty, but full of sweetness, taste, and a little crunchy, secretly supplies fiber
E Matthew Sweet, sounds and is in fact sweet, but is forlorn in his lyrics, he gives Mr Mod mere chips when he wants all chocolate
F Kinks, who is more bittersweet than Ray Davies?
G Minutemen, the chocolate is jamming econo
H Carob – Boston, everything kinda sounds like rock, and is even tasty at times, but in the end makes you feel terrible for liking it almost as much as the real thing.
Loved mockcarr’s suggestions. Here are mine:
Milk – The Archies. Songs like “Sugar Sugar” which most people like. Can be overly sweet at times.
Dark – Serge Gainsbourg. Preferable eaten after an excellent meal, and with a cognac and black coffee.
White – Yuck! Britney Spears. Where did this stuff come from?
Chocolate with almonds – Pavement. A little different, but still familiar. Has contained nuts.
Semi-Sweet – The Jesus and Mary Chain. There is a sweetness there. Listen to “Just Like Honey.”
Bittersweet – Nirvana. The ending evoked so many mixed feelings.
Unsweetened – This is baking chocolate. It does not stand well alone. Jah Wobble. He needs a band to sound good.
Carob – the stuff that hippies like and try to convince you tastes like something else, like chocolate. Phish.
A. What is ‘chocolate,’ when we think of the image that might appear in a dictionary, but ‘milk chocolate?’ What is rock ‘n roll, in those terms, but Elvis Presley’s greatest hits? Like milk chocolate, as our tastes develop, we can get sick of Elvis, but he’s always there in a pinch.
B. Dark chocolate is the chocolate snob’s chocolate. It’s got an old world vibe to it. I’ll press John Cale’s Paris 1919 album on some dark.
C. White chocolate is a chocolate for kids who want to be different – and difficult. It may not last you into adulthood, but it can set you apart from the pack during your Easter basket years. Alice Cooper albums would sound good pressed on white chocolate.
D. CCR sounds good pressed on chocolate with almonds.
E. Semi-sweet chocolate is best added to baked goods rather than eaten on its own, a bit like Adrian Belew.
F. A little less sweet than semi-sweet, bittersweet chocolate is also most effective as a sideman. Ry Cooder’s work could be pressed onto this chocolate.
G. Unsweetened chocolate is strictly for session work. Hal Blaine’s drumming, for instance, comes in this form.
H. Carob is no substitute for real chocolate records just as KidzBop records are no substitute for rock ‘n roll.
ladymisskiroyale wrote:
BRAVO!
Lots of good stuff, so far – and I forgot to add in the body of the post: Mad Props to hrrundivbakshi for sending me this video, knowing it would be good “for something.”
A. Milk chocolate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_Milk_%28band%29
B. Dark chocolate
James Brown
C. White chocolate
Beastie Boys
D. Chocolate with almonds
Parliafunkadelicment
E. Semi-sweet chocolate
EWF
F. Bittersweet chocolate
Gil Scott-Herron
G. Unsweetened chocolate
The Black Poets
H. Carob (chocolate substitute)
Blues Brothers
There is a tremendous amount of heat per square inch generated by the tip of a diamond stylus running in a record groove. It has been shown that regular vinyl reaches it’s melting temp. for a nano second as the needle passes thru the groove and then the plastic solidifies immediately after. Chocolate does not have the melting temperature needed to make a lasting record. I should know. I once bought an album by the band Hot Chocolate pressed on 180 gram chocolate and my cartridge got stuck in the record right in the middle of “Love Rollercoaster”!!
I meant “You Sexy Thing”. Sorry