Yesterday a friend and I were discussing the responsibilities big siblings have toward their little siblings when it comes to building a strong rock ‘n roll foundation. Actually my friend initially termed what his big brother did for him in terms of rock ‘n roll guidance as “giving shit.” As a big brother myself I explained to my friend that his big brother was actually looking out for his little brother’s best interests. He was upholding his responsibility to guide him in the ways of rock ‘n roll, just as I had long ago upheld my responsibility to my little brother to steer him away from the aesthetic evils of KISS.
Big brothers and big sisters aren’t always “right” in their advice, but it is helpful nonetheless to get advice from an older sibling. If nothing else it can give younger siblings a firm sense of what music he or she doesn’t like. There’s nothing worse than getting through college and still questioning whether you like Jackson Browne, for instance. Sometimes I wish I had an annoying Jackson Browne-loving older sibling to strengthen my gut feeling that Jackson Browne’s music is not for me.
So how about you? Are you a big sibling? Did you fulfill your responsibility to provide rock ‘n roll guidance to your younger sibling(s)? Did your advice fall on deaf ears, as my heedings against KISS to my little brother did?
Are you a younger sibling? Did your big sibling fulfill his or her duties? Did you give a shit about the “shit” he or she was giving you? Did his or her bad taste strengthen your resolve against the likes of Jackson Browne, Wishbone Ash, or whatever?
If you are a middle child, how did it feel being on each end of this key responsibility?
I look forward to your thoughts.
See also: Letters from the KISS Army.
re you a younger sibling? I’m a younger brother.
Did your big sibling fulfill his or her duties? Not in rock form. He liked fusion, which still bothers me, though I don’t consider that to be his fault since he generally comes at things from a jazz perspective. I will admit I had to get over some early high school Billy Joel tendencies fostered by the couple of albums in his collection and my Beatle obsession. I think it took one purchase of my own to realize he was not the next Paul McCartney.
Did you give a shit about the “shit” he or she was giving you? Sure, but that was pretty low on the list of fighting subjects. I think we had a mutual non-agression pact over music.
Did his or her bad taste strengthen your resolve against the likes of Jackson Browne, Wishbone Ash, or whatever? I doubt it. But I did have some fun at his collections’ expense. I mean, how many times can you listen to Feels So Good by Chuck Mangione without commenting? I mean, the guy was ripe for the picking!
Man. I have 3 brothers. My oldest brother constantly played the Beatles, had Village Green and Great Lost Kinks Album on 8 track, AND had Raw Power in his rekkid collection so I think he did his job. My second older brother was more of a lighter rock guy and my younger brother was kind of a deadhead. So, I guess I failed, but I discovered punk rock on my own and tried to educate all my brothers on the value of noise. I think the oldest bro got it but the other two couldn’t have been less interested. I think that happens a lot: a guy sees the light in punk but his/her siblings don’t get it and never will. I guess I was more obsessed..
Moving stories, you two. I look forward to hearing some more.
It’s an odd one for me – I am a little brother. I remember my sister coming home from her new school (5th grade for her, so 3rd for me) saying that everybody at her new school liked Led Zep and Bowie. So she starting getting those records. Somehow it was established that this was *her* music and I was to have my own music. I remember her being upset with me because I came home with the 1st Specials album and she had wanted to buy it. We played each other our records, but never lent them and seldom both had copies of the same album.
She did have a boyfriend who looked down his nose at a lot of my music choices. I’m not sure his choice music was any better (Crass, the Raincoats, etc) but he was right in dissing some of the effete, frou-frou, synthy crap I was digging at the time.
I probably retained more of my younger brother’s music selections than he has of mine. He followed me to college and we hung out with a lot of the same people. This crowd had a mellow, deadhead through to classic rock sort of bent and I was the one with the outside, punk stuff. This group was much more tolerant of my occasional Sonic Youth records than the punk crowd was of my penchant for things like the Byrds.
My brother is mostly interested in music as a background to his lifestyle and happily owns about 50 CDs while I held on to the good stuff from the Grateful Dead, Little Feet, Steely Dan part of the musical spectrum.
I’m an older brother, and my younger brother has never had much interest in music. I do remember him being in my room once when I was listening to Arthur. After Yes Sir, No Sir he walked out of the room saying “You listen to some weird music.”
My sister is younger, and I don’t think I had any effect on her either, but I do owe her one for turning me onto the Hejira album.
I’m the oldest, with a younger brother and younger sister. My grandfather was a musicologist, specializing in Bach; my father has always sung choral music. Growing up, my parents liked folk music, protest songs, the Beatles, and most things classical, but were very open to what ever we liked that was available on am radio in AZ in the 1970’s. My musical tastes started to become somewhat more divergent in high school and I liked both the rock and the new wave directions.
Initially, my brother and sister listened to what I liked and didn’t really add much to the mix until they went away to college. Both of them ended up doing years abroad in England, so they influenced me with stuff they heard on Radio 1 over there (but was still somewhat outre over here). Much of my love of ska and electronic music came from an initial tape an old boyfriend made for her and a copy of which she passed along to me.
Since the early 90’s, my sister and brother are interested in some of the music I like (I make them tapes/discs of “year end best” every Christmas), but their tastes are generally more narrow now. My sister seems pretty happy to continue to listen to songs from the 80’s; my brother listens to weird “Grand Guignol” macabre stuff that I generally don’t care for. But we all still are very invested in music. My brother and I both continue to go out to live shows, although generally not to the same ones (45 Grave???? Testicular Manslaughter????? No thanks!)
I’m the oldest, and I tried to leave behind siblings with decent taste in music, but I’m the only one that really ever thought it was important to buy more music as often as possible. I guess I thought Punk should be able to coexist in the Classic Rock world when that came out, but I couldn’t listen to The Ramones with my friends that liked Wishbone Ash, even though I liked Wishbone Ash just fine. My brother decided he liked Punk, and he (and still claims to be) a huge Clash fan. I think he happily lives with his thirty or so cd’s, which were mostly gifts from me. But I think he loses them sometimes – something I can’t imagine happening!
My dad loved showtunes. My brother and my sister both love showtunes, too. That never wore off on me. I don’t like that stuff at all. I never liked what the parents to my generation liked. I still hate Sinatra, I can’t stand The Eagles or any of those singer/songwriters of the 70’s like Dan Fogelberg, I think Hawaiian music is horrible and Rachmaninoff is totally suckish. The only parents record collections I ever had any fun with were the ones that just stayed stuck in the 50’s back then, and everyone I knew hated that stuff!
I have to hand it my my old man, though. When I got my first full 40 hour paycheck, I went to the record store and blew the entire thing on records. I always wanted to do that! My mom was pissed. She said it was a big waste of money and I had to return them all. My dad said I took good care of them, and so long as I didn’t do it every week, he thought it was just fine.
I did okay with my kids, though. they both love music, and one of them even loves records. They both like punkish stuff and they don’t love The Stones like me, but they both have plenty of Stones music in their own collections, so I did good there! One of them should finish school this year to be a sound engineer (he’s the one that likes records).
I’m the second of six. Most of my siblings have a pretty active interest in music. The ranges in tastes are as far flung as you can imagine.
My parents were musically agnostic when we were growing up, so my older brother and I kind of figured it out together on our own for a while. We alays went to concerts together and all of our albums were combined into one big collection. Nowadays, although he is an unrepentant prog rocker and 70s rock guy, (As an aside, he told me a few years ago that he created his ultimate mixed cd and only three songs would fit on it: Close To The Edge by Yes, Sheep by Pink Floyd, and Green Grass and High Tides by the Outlaws), he might be the most musically open minded of me and my siblings, in good ways and bad.
As for the younger siblings, I don’t think I had any more influence on any of them than they had on each other. There were scattered moments of influence but no Svengali-like periods. My youngest brother and I did have a musical summit when he was in high school during which I gave him a mixed tape of the Velvet Underground and he gave me the Smiths – the Queen Is Dead. Although I still think he got the better end of that bargain, we reached a point of mutual respect.
One influence that I will claim is that my parents took my youngest brother to a dive bar to see my college band play and shortly thereafter, he and his buddies formed a band, which is still together about 25 years later. He probably would have started a band at some point but I suspect that experience helped motivate him.
Oddly enough, my most unlikely musical influence is my mom for two reasons:
1. She always emphasized melody when describing why she liked some of my records (Elton John) but didn’t like others (KISS).
2. She places a premium on “authentic” experiences. This kind of mindset has led me to follow the trail from Aerosmith to the Yardbirds to Johnny Burnette and the Rock and Roll Trio to Tiny Bradshaw.
Finally, more than any other person, my high school English teacher aided and abetted my interest in music right when I was becoming obsessed. He didn’t necessarily turn me onto anything new but he totally threw fuel on the fire because in 1978 I didn’t know anyone else who had even heard of the Velvet Underground let alone who had seen them.
I’m just starting here, and have a somewhat limited in scope (so far), but fierce love of rock.
My biggest influence was my older brother, who introduced his then-12-year-old sister (me) to the likes of Frank Zappa, The Velvet Underground, The Misfits, The Clash and many more all at once…needless to say I was not impressed at first but they grew on me quickly. The Misfits and Zappa are still “meh” with me, but I LOVE The Velvets and The Clash. Well, Frank Zappa’s an acquired taste if there ever was one.
He didn’t work so well on my little sister, who sort of likes these bands but not really. I love David Bowie pretty much all through his career, and my sister pretended to like him too for a while, but then gave up the facade. Same with Roxy Music. I thought glam rock would appeal to her, for some reason…
Now she listens to Kesha and Katy Perry. I have to say, I believe she has fallen far. Although, we are now sharing a mutual affection for The Smiths, so maybe she is forgiven.
At any rate, siblings are absolutely essential for this kind of thing. As long as at least one of them has good taste.
Awesome debut, cesca! Thanks for joining in on the discussion. Of those initial four bands your older brother exposed you to, you surely picked the best two:) We look forward to your continued thoughts on all matters rock and otherwise.