We got a new cable service while I was out of town, and I just started checking it out. For the first time we have VH1 Classics. The first video I caught was Eurythmics’ “Missionary Man”. Thankfully, our brains are wired to block out many of the associated sensations that accompany traumatic moments, associated sensations would otherwise kill our ability to pick up the pieces and move forward. Thankfully, I’d forgotten everything about both this song and the video.
I’ve enjoyed a relatively healthy and productive life since forgetting about “Missionary Man”, a video that probably has been removed from YouTube for fear of Rock Crimes by association. This morning, though, thanks to VH1 Classics I’m reminded of Lennox’s Soul on Ice routine and a reverse sex appeal that could flip the polarity of human sexuality (the power of which, I should add, had been unmatched since the appearance of Gwen Stefani). I’m reminded of Dave Stewart, rock’s only musician to follow in Jeff Lynne’s fashion footsteps. Stewart would combine that bad Look with a goofy self-aware svengali schtick that wasn’t too far from Rick Nielson. Ugh. I’m reminded of the use of canned “colored girls,” among the most hideous practices of British musicians from the ’80s.
Don’t think I’m incapable of appreciating the evil genius of Eurythmics, much like I can appreciate the evil genius of Gwen Stefani and the rhetorical skills of Nazi Germany. I’m afraid that watching too much of VH1 Classics will be like watching a Leni Reifenstahl film festival.
I will close by saying that VH1 Classics, which is still on in the background, just ran back-to-back ads for a KISS Greatest Hits album and an upcoming feature on Bob Seger. We reap what we sow.
