The Importance of Being Earnest

As suspected/expected, the takeaway message I got from last night’s Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was The Importance of Being Earnest. Along with a preferable degree of commercial success, a dog-eared page in the latest edition of The Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock & Roll, and a personal history with Jann Wenner and/or Clive Davis, this year’s HoF crop was an earnest bunch, true believers in the restorative powers of rock ‘n roll. I can’t say this is the worst message to put forth, especially with such an artistically uninspired crop of inductees.

Complain all you want about Peter Buck and Lenny Kaye’s “restraint,” Michael Stipe’s latest fashion/gesture faux pas, the value of Grandmaster Flash’s skills on the chocolate factory assembly line, and Ronnie Spector’s utter incoherence. It doesn’t matter. The folks driving the RnRHof want you to believe. They’re hard at work building our next Disney empire, a Disney empire for the Rock Generation. It’s OK, people. We’ll be able to bring our kids to play the Giant Les Paul. We’ll take swigs of alcohol-free Jack Daniels around a single microphone, surrounded by cardboard cutouts of Mick, Keef, and assorted “colored girls.” We’ll marvel at a glimpse of ourselves in the Diva Mirror, which will make us look bigger than life, even bigger than Aretha Franklin.

Rock ‘n Roll Is for Believers, and the less rock ‘n roll there is to believe in, the more we will come to appreciate Stephen Stills squeezing out inappropriately reverberated notes during an All-Star jam on a mediocre song with an uplifting message. Believe, and keep your heart open to rare moments of sincere joy and emphathy. That beautiful, dignified Ronette in the gold dress. Patti Smith’s touching speech. The pride of the Grandmaster Flash crew. Even Sammy Hagar giving it his best effort…