The world has officially gone fucking insane
Somebody sent me a copy of the photo above, obviously meaning to get my dander up. My obvious first question, as I’m sure it was yours, was “who the hell are these two idiots, and why is my President shaking their hand?”
Turns out they’re the latest manufactured pop idols from across the pond — Ireland, I believe — and they call themselves “Jedward.” Their music — at least the small amount of it I’ve heard — is predictably terrible.
But look — I don’t have the time to rant about how awful their music is, or even how sick I am of pop music that relies on image-mongering at the expense of good songcraft. But I do have the time to rant about how this duo’s “act” is the closest thing I’ve seen to honest-to-God Nazi rally theatrics since you-know-when. Or at least the realization of every dystopian, sci-fi “rock star of the 23rd century” vision ever committed to film.
Don’t believe me? Check this out:
I have so many questions about this clip: are these two yucka-pucks even remotely aware of what they’re mimicking here? Does their audience get the same thrill people experienced when the Fuhrer rolled down the streets of Berlin in 1939? Did President Obama ever lean over to Michelle and whisper, “what the FUCK were people thinking, making us sit through this white-boy Kid-n-Play-meets-Riefenstahl bullshit?” And, also interesting to me: I wonder how the money breaks down in the Jedward deal. Is it, like, a Broadway thing, where each show costs an astonishing amount of money, but the take at the door is $80/seat? Jedward certainly can’t float that kind of cash — so you know the producers are making out here. But where does that leave poor Jedward? And how do acts like Jedward progress artistically, once they’ve committed temselves to this kind of career?
Sorry this is unfocused — my mind is still reeling.
Jeez, can’t you say anything nice about these young men?
I have not yet had a chance to listen to what certainly looks to be some horrible music, but by video evidence alone isn’t this in line with Vanilla Ice; ’90s UK hip-hop acts like that fat, black “hippie” guy; and the obligatory Look of the graphic stylings of Giles and George?
The most Riefenstahlian performance I’ve ever seen was Stone Temple Pilots pretty much near the peak of their career. The way they worked the crowd was scary – and the music was confrontationally bad. (I went to the show on a whim to see Flaming Lips.)
Preach it, brother, preach it! I could be a contrarian and point out that you are decades late to be lamenting “pop music that relies on image-mongering at the expense of good songcraft,” but why would I do that when basically you are right? Although I cannot manage your level of outrage, this is truly appalling stuff. That said, I laughed my ass off watching this, kind of like the first time I saw Klaus Nomi in Urrgh! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuSrsGzhD9U Perhaps in 30 years Jedward will be seen as some sort of visionaries.
The dancers on the screen behind them sometimes look kind of late 70s Two-Tone, and if you remember those bands had to fight to keep their distance from the National Front types.
What I liked about hvb’s original post was the question about how they would progress artistically. That’s some funny shit.
hrrundivbakshi is reminding me of my Dad when he first saw the Beatles on TV, boiled down to “What is this shit?” We’re all getting old.
Do you think that Jedward is conceptually all that different from Wham!, New Kids, or Milli Vanilli? I’m sure that if those guys had access to fancy display and animation technology, they would have used it to the hilt. This video is basically “Wake Me Up Before You Go-go” with fancier screens and slightly stranger costumes.
That is a good angle to investigate!
True–for myself, I can see them doing a boyband adaptation of the Eichmann trial. That could be some edgy stuff.
I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.
That doesn’t make it any less creepy.
OK, as Irish artists – and as they develop artistically – are they obligated to confront The Troubles?
Now THAT’s funny!
I thought for sure this was going to wind up being a cover of “It’s Still Rock ‘N Roll To Me.”
As for the members of Jedward, my guess is that they’re on salary. Artistic progress is enveloped by the fact that they both are generic enough looking that each can be replaced at a moment’s notice.
But hey, all other things being equal, you gotta have a gimmick. It’s not beneath marketing people to try classical propaganda.
An excellent idea, or maybe they could deal with the fall of Parnell. The future is unlimited, fellas!
This Nazi talk reminds me of this video.
Hitler Reacts to Oasis Breakup
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6IyGAvbOs4
I’m more frightened of the idea that they are Jedward, but are not completely Jed yet.
Also, their look seems heavily influenced by the Rumpledforeskin, erm, Rumpelstiltskin character in that last Shrek movie.
On the “say something nice” angle: they aren’t auto-tuning the vocals. Unfortunately in this case, they aren’t auto-tuning the vocals.
Eurovision music. Guaranteed source of awfulness, always has been. That’s not old man talk, that’s the truth for any generation of concerned rock listener.
I’m with trigmo – it’s Eurovision music, which is always awful. What is surprising to me is if this group was Ireland’s official entry, who were the runners up?
The music equivalent of the television’s The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. What the hey ! It’s mindless pap. They are not destroying my gods or heroes. So let them jump around and simultaneously bring 10 year old girls to their knees.
Meet the new Bros. same as the old Bros.
They use the same catchy colors that the White Stripes loved.
Why does everyone bag on Vanilla Ice? He made one of the best comedy albums of all time. Come on, you wish you made this rap song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU9O5N1BDFk