Aug 152007
 


Despite any feelings you might have about the artist in the above video and the quality of his performance, which I’ll acknowledge is only mediocre, check out what happens as the YouTube clock hits 1:40 and counting down. You might have a similar reaction as the woman in the following, very short clip:

Paul Shaffer can have that effect on people.

ProTools is soon to launch a “sound dehancer” plug-in called InstaSuck. Using InstaSuck, Late Night With David Letterman band leader Shaffer can be dialed up for any band’s performance, and even the most stirring performance will be brought down a few notches. Since moving his Look from lovable wiseacre who was born to play Artie Fufkin to Liberace in sausage casing, Shaffer’s campy gesticulations and overbitten keyboard runs have risen to the level of Rock Crimes.

Shaffer wasn’t always the kiss of death. Long ago, when he was bandleader and occasional skit actor on Saturday Night Live, Schaffer fell into that “Wouldn’t it be great if there was more time given to this person?” category that we’ve felt for the likes of Pete Townshend, when his lead vocal performances were a rare treat; Kyra Sedgwick, before being subjected to her bad Holly Hunter impersonation in The Closer. Like these artists, however, once given the requested additional time, Shaffer fell into the dreaded “Are you happy now?” category. “Are you happy now?” for instance, we asked ourselves when Mick Jones finally took control of his own band, Big Audio Dynamite.

Slowly, we would begin to see more, and the initial results were not as hoped for, but we could tolerate More Shaffer. By the time the Sausage Casing Era hit, however, even a brief anecdote with a long set up that immediately fizzles out is too much.

Shaffer would come to relish his MC role, even leading a quartet of jazz organ greats on some Canadian music awards program. By this point, encased, of course, the line between his smarmy characters (eg, Bill Murray’s lounge singer accompanist, Artie Fufkin) and real life has blurred. By the time Shaffer actually kicks off the jam, with 4:25 left in the countdown, the packet of InstaSuck has been opened. It’s just a matter of when Paul will turn over the packet and begin stirring.

At 2:17, Shaffer has emptied the contents of the packet and begun dry humping his organ.

Following is a real atrocity from 1989, during which Shaffer is briefly seen (at 1:18) as a confused bystander. Remember when the Late Night band had to play with all artists, often leaving just two key members of a band to play with all those guys in mullets, long coats, and jeans tucked into their floppy boots? I believe this era set the tone for Shaffer’s Rock Crimes.

While the other musicians slowly stepped back into a more tasteful supporting role, content to function as little more than the house band, Shaffer continues to edge to the fore. We thought we wanted more Paul Shaffer. We were wrong.

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  12 Responses to “Rock Crimes: Paul Shaffer”

  1. hrrundivbakshi

    Mr. Moderator: I know your purpose was not to entertain and amuse with this scathing indictment, but that is precisely what you have done — with great prejudice. Well done.

  2. I have often mulled over how and why Shaffer became the very thing he used to parody so well.

    I think he was still funny on the old, NBC Letterman show, but something unfortunate happened once the move to CBS was made. Of course, you could say the same thing about Letterman.

    That said, the weird NBC-era practice of the house band playing with the musical guest made for some bizarre juxtapositions. You should be able to find a YouTube clip of Shaffer et al accompanying Sonic Youth on “100%” and it is truly weird.

  3. Does anyone but me remember the very short-lived sitcom he was in: “A Year At The Top”!

    “http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075602/

  4. sammymaudlin

    I was best man at a wedding many years ago that was in an outdoor park on a grassy hill on a breezy and sunny afternoon. About halfway thru the very moving service, up over the top of the hill crawled a retarded adult, drooling and sort of moaning.

    She was perfectly positioned visually behind the preacher and closing in fast. No one knew what to do. She didn’t seem to be in pain or anything but clearly was an individual that required a vigilant caretaker.

    After what seemed like an eternity of 2-3 minutes, the not-so-vigilant caretaker emerged over the crest of the hill and reigned her back in.

    Afterwards, as much as everyone tried to rationalize this experience as some sort of spiritual asset to the ceremony, the unspoken reality was that it was truly a horror.

  5. Mr. Moderator

    Mrclean, I barely remember the show you’re talking about.

    Oats, funny you should mention the Sonic Youth performance. Last night, briefly, I was digging around for that as an example but only came up with Shaffer-less performances of two songs that weren’t bad provided I could block out the bad singing.

  6. BigSteve

    I didn’t make it all the way through Shaffer’s organ transplant, but that dude with the turban looked so cool. A turban is a very bold stroke, but the only people I’ve ever see try it (notably Sam the Sham and Kim Wilson of the Fabulous TBirds) have been able to carry it off. Is a turban a form of instacool? Does the turban reject you if you’re not cool enough (kind of like the couch in that scene in Pink Flamingos)?

  7. “100%” by Sonic Youth and The World’s Most Dangerous Band (or whatever they were called back then).

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=iiqM-Ne5b10

  8. Well, let me be the lone voice crying in the wilderness – I love Paul Shaffer!

    1. I see why someone might think he’s crossed over into becoming what he once parodied but I think it is still a parody. It’s just now become a way inside joke. Maybe it’s that it never really was a parody, it was and is an homage. I think he loves that era of show business and he’s trying to be part of it while knowing that he’s not and can’t be.
    2. He’s an incredibly funny person. I watched Letterman religiously back in the NBC era and the early CBS era but had only watched it occasionally for the last 10 years or so, until a few months ago when I started watching it most every night. The show really has evolved/devolved and one of the changes is that Paul is much more involved in the humor and seems to have the freedom to banter and adlib with Dave in a way he didn’t or couldn’t before.
    3. He’s also incredibly clever in the songs chosen for intros for guests; I enjoy trying to figure out the connection.
    4. He appears to have an encyclopedic knowledge of rock & roll and lots of other music as well. And he clearly loves the music. I dare say he’d fit in just fine on Rock Town Hall.

    To me, what Mr. Mod sees as the excesses in the various clips, I see as Paul thinking “Jesus H. Christ, I’m onstage playing/jamming with Stephen Malkmus, Lonnie Smith, The Ramones, or whoever”. I think he loves the music that much that he’s still awed by that stuff. (And I’ve always loved that Cher impression which he does every year at Christmas.)

    Bottom line, he seems the kind of person who always loved music, is talented, but wouldn’t ever be the focal point of a band. Instead, he’s carved out quite a gig for himself, and gotten to play with everyone (a musical Zelig?). Be honest, wouldn’t you trade your job for his in a heartbeat?

  9. Mr. Moderator

    The Shaffer family appreciates your defense, Al. Don’t get me wrong: I’d love to have Paul join us in the Halls of Rock, but he’d have to spend a day in the Rock Stockade first.

  10. BigSteve

    “100%” by Sonic Youth and The World’s Most Dangerous Band (or whatever they were called back then).

    Yes, reminiscent of the Ornette Coleman Double Quartet recording.

    No, seriously why is the house band playing when all four members of SY are present? Is it some kind of union rule? Do they get paid more if they back up the visiting artist? Maybe it’s part of their contract.

    Btw Lee Ranaldo in that clip is playing the exact same model Tele Custom that I use as my main what I think is called an axe.

  11. I think this thread calls for a related link:
    http://jefitoblog.com/blog/?p=1341

  12. meanstom

    Lock him up!

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