Jul 202011
Yesterday, I got a diagnosis from a qualified M.D. that made me smile for two reasons: one, because it wasn’t serious (fear not, RTH! All is well!)—and, two, because it was also the name of a song. I want you to guess what medical condition I was diagnosed with. I suspect that this exercise will have the same net effect as a Last Man Standing episode, so if you want to treat it accordingly, feel free. At some point in this LMS-like process, I feel certain you’ll correctly diagnose my Rock, pop, or soul condition.
I look forward to your responses.
HVB
While it’s not particularly serious, I hope you’re aware that there isn’t, sorry, ain’t no cure for the summertime blues.
Do you have Frank Black’s “Headache”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpGD1ZATcuA
HVB, please know that I have nothing but respect for the brave front you’re putting up and that my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family as you deal with the diagnosis that you’ve got Bette Davis Eyes.
Since this is a Last Man Standing-related exercise, I feel like we should do our best to see how long we can go without guessing correctly, to extend the game!
Please tell me you don’t have an Achy Breaky Heart…
Is it something that you would cure with, say, an ocean of calamine lotion?
LOL!
You got “Nothing But a Heartache”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_aaA-SeSlQ
Cat scratch fever?
No, this condition of mine is not related to the skin.
No, not even as a side effect.
I’m going to have an achy breaky heart if I have to start answering these inquiries with clue-ridden responses.
Again I say: LOL!
BTW, guitar nerds: have any of you actually watched that excellent JLL clip at the top of this post? That guitar solo is great!
R U “Delirious” from the heat?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK1W300bWns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeyipYTS7kg
Do you have the Fever? St Vitas Dance? Are you having having my baby?
Cabin Fever – Brian Jonestown Massacre
The Best of Jill Hives – GBV
Poison Ivy – Searchers
You’re not:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TWLxCIgwE
I hope . . .
I don’t think they can sure you of your Sad Eyes, either.
What kind of doctor would diagnose you with “Sad Eyes”?!
Dr. Feelgood!
My third LOL of the day!
A bad case of loving you?
Bah, I suspect you dropped in to see what condition your condition was in
Industrial Disease?
I hope you don’t have the Gang of Four version of Anthrax.
Well, yes, I suppose I did. I did say, in effect: “doctor, doctor, gimme the news!” But what does that have to with my diagnosis?
Any version of Anthrax would suck eggs!
True.
Damn it. I was going to guess this.
Brother, I don’t know what ails you, but I do know that Music Is the Doctor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8uCryLHnt4
But maybe you’re Lovesick? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abbu5hcH0kk
Do you have ‘dem low down full tilt boogie anal herpes?
Sick of Myself?
How about the Constipation Blues? Let the late Screamin’ Jay Hawkins tell it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic3g8Xnf7LI
Sex addiction? You are Addicted to Love.
Or maybe an Orgasm Addict.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Mi995ggFU
I’m sure they prescribed Sexual Healing.
Did you ask the doctor “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiu6DFXeF9A
You were given a diagnosis of ADHD – “Hyperactive” type:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zelVvrgcK_g&feature=related
Mr. Royale asked if this song was on Shingles Going Steady…
It has been 14 minutes since the last comment. The Smiths wonder if you’re “Still Ill”.
You guys are going to be so disappointed when I tell you what boring ailment I’ve been diagnosed with. Still, it is a song title by one of my favorite artists!
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: “Can’t Get It Out of My Head.”
Possibly chronic fatigue syndrome? “I’m So Tired” by the Beatles.
A “Psychotic Reaction”?
You got The Jack?
You’re “Delirious”? You got “The Look”?
I meant to say earlier: YES!
Did you turn into a “Disco Duck”?
I’m gonna throw out a few unlikely ones – Manic Depression?
or Narcolepsy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4fRo1dJcVw
Hangnail?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVKKU6Ef5wQ
You did say it was one of your favorite artists.
GENIUS!
I thought at first those might be the in-house “Shindogs” backing him up, in which case that would have been James Burton….but it isn’t. Who IS that guy?
HA! (The last one.)
“Love-itis”?
Hmm…Maybe I should go with some Carcass titles:
“Carbonized Eyesockets” ?
“Fermenting Innards”?
“Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra”?
HVB, if you got yourself a Cadillac but you can’t afford the gasoline, you have the Down Payment Blues.
http://youtu.be/6aLnfglKnis
For the Bel Air Blues you may think to call the Menendez boys.
http://youtu.be/i5iBIfbq8Eo
“Crepitating Bowel Erosion”?
I said: I’ve been listening to a lot of Stevie Wonder lately.
Wasn’t that on the B side of the “A Something’s Extra” 7″ that came with the original LP? I coulda sworn…..
I think I know what it is. Should I tell?
Blinded by the light?
Well, no. But if you think you know, hazard a guess!
I sent you a message elsewhere. You can tell me if I’m right over there, but I’ll hold off here, because I know I’m right.
Contusion, or perhaps Uptight.
DINGDINHDINGDING! I gotta give props where they’re due — BobbyBittman got there first, but kept things offline to keep the game going.
For the record, a rogue wave at the beach slammed my shoulder into the sand, and it got wrenched — nothing broken, nothing serious, just a big, big WHAM — otherwise known, according to the doctor, as a “Contusion.” When you’re as old as I am, these things matter.
Thanks, HVB.
HAI! Good luck. I got snap-rolled in shorebreak at Sandy’s out here in ’93 with my arm up back behind my head. “— nothing broken, nothing serious, just a big, big WHAM —”…yet almost 20yrs later the shoulder still “clacks” when it didn’t. Keep ’em loose!
aloha
LD