I think this topic is a potentially great one for RTH, but neither the Blender list or this response thread is really doing the topic justice.
Are we talking about single worst lyric for a rock song? Or a career of bad lyrics? A career of mediocre lyrics or outright howlers. Come on now.
Some serious candidates for worst lyricist: Ted Nugent, Ozzy Osbourne (early on), Rob Halford, many others I could think of if I wasn’t still half asleep this morning.
Of major players who sometimes write lyrics I like, few greats write worse lyrics than Paul McCartney. You know who else writes terrible lyrics? Whoever wrote the lyrics in those old AC/DC songs. They totally ruin what enjoyment I might otherwise get out of those songs. They’re not even capable of writing “good-bad” lyrics, which I’d say Ozzy can do on occasion.
See, that’s where this topic gets complicated–when a lyricist isn’t trying to write good lyrics per se. I didn’t mention AC/DC because they were trying to be stupid, and I feel like that lets them off the hook. You can’t be truly bad unless you’re really going for meaning.
Ozzy got a lot better as his career continued.
Oh, a bell just went off: I think Styx has the stupidest lyrics in rock and roll history.
Styx might be tough to top. I always laugh at “The problem’s plain to see: too much technology! Machines that save our lives…machines DEHUMANIZE!” It’s all in the delivery, I guess, how committed to it he was.
If we’re talking “worst lyricist” I think it has to be a total body of work thing rather than one really bad song, and intent has to come into play, like mwall suggests. So someone with a large body of bad lyrics who genuinely appears to have thought they were good.
I’d like to give it some thought and come up with some examples, especially since the two I’m thinking of are people I can’t stand and may be adding too much of that into the mix, but Steven Tyler and Billy Joel came to mind for long-term mediocre or worse lyrical work. Without even getting to something like We Didn’t Start The Fire…“I was talkin’ to DAVY! who’s still in the NAVY!” and “Remember Charlie! Remember BAKER! They left their childhood on every ACRE!” Thanks, Billy.
I’m swinging my vote Billy Joel’s way for all the reasons alexmagic suggests. He started out his solo career with a little bit of those “New Dylan” delusions, no?
Yeah, Billy Joel’s pretty bad. And he’s got a “lyricist as such” black mark against him: in other words, the lyrics are really at the center of the song.
But now we need to distinguish between “bad” and “stupid.” Styx lyrics are undeniably stupider than Joel lyrics. But something about Joel lyrics is cringeworthy more than simply laughably ridiculous.
I think AC/DC lyrics are consciously meant to be a piggish wallow even from the beginning. “If we have a pounding pounding rhythm section and lyrics that say what every 16-year old dude who can’t get laid wants to think, we’ll be famous.”
I’m cool with throwing AC/DC out. Styx and Joel have artistic aspirations feuling their bad lyrics, which makes them worse and worthy of keeping in consideration of all-around worst lyricists.
Joel went from the Dylan/Jackson Browne thing to aspirations of writing Great American Standards. His lyrics are about as clunky as they come in either genre.
Styx seems to have a theatrical bent. That kind of music is more easily bad without the surrounding show, so I’m giving the nod – so far – to Joel, who manages to suck in a more subtle style of lyric writing.
I’ll go with Billy Joel too. That “Davy/Navy” couplet always annoyed the hell out of me. Especially they way he sings it. However, I think the lyrics in “Captain Jack” are even more cringe-worthy.
Are you suggesting that he got better as a lyricist after Black Sabbath? See, I think he belongs in a completely different category, which is for people who wrote bad lyrics, at least on the surface, but who had so many other strengths going on at the same time that it made it forgettable. I think you could put The Stooges in the same boat. If you just read any of the lyrics from Fun House without the context of their music, they seem juvenile and stupid, but it’s all in the execution.
know who else writes terrible lyrics? Whoever wrote the lyrics in those old AC/DC songs. They totally ruin what enjoyment I might otherwise get out of those songs. They’re not even capable of writing “good-bad” lyrics, which I’d say Ozzy can do on occasion.
Nonsense. I know they’ve been taken out of the running, but I think their lyrics are hysterical, especially stuff like “Big Balls” or “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”.
You know, Captain Jack is one of those songs I’ve hated for so long that I think I lost sight of just how dopey those lyrics really are. “New English clothes” – is that supposed to be clothes that someone from New England would wear? And used just to rhyme with “gonna pick your nose”?
“So you got everything, ah, but nothing’s cool/They just found your father in the swimming pool/And you guess you won’t be going back to school/anymore” No, well I guess you wouldn’t be heading right back to school after a bummer like that.
“Well you’re 21 and still your mother makes your bed, and that’s too long” Good observation, Bill. Dr. Phil of his day.
Hey, I think “You’re So Vain” is a fantastic lyric. Even when I like to sing it as “I had some dreams/They were clowns in my coffee.”
I like New Order, but they’ve written a lot of god-awful lyrics. Maybe this list singled out the wrong Sumner.
When Chris Difford’s lyrics get too clever — watch out!
I think this topic is a potentially great one for RTH, but neither the Blender list or this response thread is really doing the topic justice.
Are we talking about single worst lyric for a rock song? Or a career of bad lyrics? A career of mediocre lyrics or outright howlers. Come on now.
Some serious candidates for worst lyricist: Ted Nugent, Ozzy Osbourne (early on), Rob Halford, many others I could think of if I wasn’t still half asleep this morning.
Of major players who sometimes write lyrics I like, few greats write worse lyrics than Paul McCartney. You know who else writes terrible lyrics? Whoever wrote the lyrics in those old AC/DC songs. They totally ruin what enjoyment I might otherwise get out of those songs. They’re not even capable of writing “good-bad” lyrics, which I’d say Ozzy can do on occasion.
See, that’s where this topic gets complicated–when a lyricist isn’t trying to write good lyrics per se. I didn’t mention AC/DC because they were trying to be stupid, and I feel like that lets them off the hook. You can’t be truly bad unless you’re really going for meaning.
Ozzy got a lot better as his career continued.
Oh, a bell just went off: I think Styx has the stupidest lyrics in rock and roll history.
Was AC/DC trying to be stupid, or were they stupid? The answer to that question might be crucial to our understanding.
Styx is a real good one. They are outright terrible on every level.
Styx might be tough to top. I always laugh at “The problem’s plain to see: too much technology! Machines that save our lives…machines DEHUMANIZE!” It’s all in the delivery, I guess, how committed to it he was.
If we’re talking “worst lyricist” I think it has to be a total body of work thing rather than one really bad song, and intent has to come into play, like mwall suggests. So someone with a large body of bad lyrics who genuinely appears to have thought they were good.
I’d like to give it some thought and come up with some examples, especially since the two I’m thinking of are people I can’t stand and may be adding too much of that into the mix, but Steven Tyler and Billy Joel came to mind for long-term mediocre or worse lyrical work. Without even getting to something like We Didn’t Start The Fire…“I was talkin’ to DAVY! who’s still in the NAVY!” and “Remember Charlie! Remember BAKER! They left their childhood on every ACRE!” Thanks, Billy.
I’m swinging my vote Billy Joel’s way for all the reasons alexmagic suggests. He started out his solo career with a little bit of those “New Dylan” delusions, no?
Yeah, Billy Joel’s pretty bad. And he’s got a “lyricist as such” black mark against him: in other words, the lyrics are really at the center of the song.
But now we need to distinguish between “bad” and “stupid.” Styx lyrics are undeniably stupider than Joel lyrics. But something about Joel lyrics is cringeworthy more than simply laughably ridiculous.
I think AC/DC lyrics are consciously meant to be a piggish wallow even from the beginning. “If we have a pounding pounding rhythm section and lyrics that say what every 16-year old dude who can’t get laid wants to think, we’ll be famous.”
I’m cool with throwing AC/DC out. Styx and Joel have artistic aspirations feuling their bad lyrics, which makes them worse and worthy of keeping in consideration of all-around worst lyricists.
Joel went from the Dylan/Jackson Browne thing to aspirations of writing Great American Standards. His lyrics are about as clunky as they come in either genre.
Styx seems to have a theatrical bent. That kind of music is more easily bad without the surrounding show, so I’m giving the nod – so far – to Joel, who manages to suck in a more subtle style of lyric writing.
I’ll go with Billy Joel too. That “Davy/Navy” couplet always annoyed the hell out of me. Especially they way he sings it. However, I think the lyrics in “Captain Jack” are even more cringe-worthy.
Great call, magicalex
Are you suggesting that he got better as a lyricist after Black Sabbath? See, I think he belongs in a completely different category, which is for people who wrote bad lyrics, at least on the surface, but who had so many other strengths going on at the same time that it made it forgettable. I think you could put The Stooges in the same boat. If you just read any of the lyrics from Fun House without the context of their music, they seem juvenile and stupid, but it’s all in the execution.
Nonsense. I know they’ve been taken out of the running, but I think their lyrics are hysterical, especially stuff like “Big Balls” or “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”.
You know, Captain Jack is one of those songs I’ve hated for so long that I think I lost sight of just how dopey those lyrics really are. “New English clothes” – is that supposed to be clothes that someone from New England would wear? And used just to rhyme with “gonna pick your nose”?
“So you got everything, ah, but nothing’s cool/They just found your father in the swimming pool/And you guess you won’t be going back to school/anymore” No, well I guess you wouldn’t be heading right back to school after a bummer like that.
“Well you’re 21 and still your mother makes your bed, and that’s too long” Good observation, Bill. Dr. Phil of his day.
No. I think mid-period Sabbath lyrics are preferable to those on the first two records.