Here, from a mailing list I’m on:
SLY STONE RETURNS
The soul legend is back for a tour of Europe that starts July 12 in Perugia, Italy and includes shows in Switzerland, Belgium, the Netherlands, France, Spain, and England. All these shows coincide with the brand new release of his famous Sly & The Family Stone albums. Brand new remasters with bonus tracks.
Dates:
07-12 Perugia, Italy – Umbria Jazz Festival
07-13 Montreux, Switzerland – Stravinski Hall (Montreux Jazz Festival)
07-14 Gent, Belgium – Blue Note Records Festival
07-15 Rotterdam, Netherlands – North Sea Jazz Festival
07-19 Nice, France – Nice Jazz Festival
07-20 Pori, Finland – Kirjurinluoto Arena (Pori Jazz Festival)
07-23 Paris, France – Olympia Hall
07-27 San Sebastian, Spain – Jazzaldia
07-28 Bournemouth, England – Opera House CBC
The pool is open. You can pick that this will happen. You can pick that it will not happen at all and the date that it is cancelled. You can pick that it will be cancelled in progress and pick the date of that event.
And, on a scale of 1 to 20, with 20 being the worst, you can pick the magnitude of disaster that this tour will be in the event that even one show occurs.
Disaster! I give him 3 shows before he takes off on someone else’s motorcycle, gets his Sly belt buckle caught on something, and in a high-speed Belgium police chase, Sly breaks his other arm. Thus, causing him to land in a Belgium hospital, at first available moment to flee Europe for the States, where he then spirals back into heavy cocaine use which will undoubtedly have him turning up on the doorstep of Phil Spector. Kind of like what happened with that guy and Courtney Love that one time. Sly will throw a brick through Spector’s mansion window yelling that he stole all his best songs. Spector will be quoted as saying “What the fucking fuck?!” and then calling it all into the police. The whole thing will be re-dramatized on Xtra.
So that’s: 07-14 Gent, Belgium – Blue Note Records Festival, of course he’s going to play the Blue Note Records festival! That night will go down in history! Mmm, or not. It could also be the Pori, Finland show. But Belgium is my guess. 3 shows is a solid run.
Oh! I forgot my number… I would say 16, in terms of disaster striking, in the least.
I’m calling the 7/15 show in the Netherlands as the breaking point. Magnitude of 14. He’ll show up on stage but do little more than wander around until he falls off the stage and busts his hip.
I’m picking 20 — Sly not making any of these shows. The odds against him making all of them are astronomical.
I’ve got that same belt buckle!
I hope you don’t drive a motorcycle too Sammy! 😉 Disaster! Can anyone actually understand what Sly is singing in the first bit? I swear to god I thought it was an old SNL skit with Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat as Sly Stone…
That clip is *priceless*. Sly Stone, Kiki Dee and… Roy Clark?! WTF?!?!?!
I say “17”. He’ll make 3 of the shows – the 12th, 19th and 28th. His hump will be filling in on the other nights.
(sorry that was tasteless)