I simply must insist that you watch this 11-minute “episode” of Chris Elliott’s latest production, “Eagleheart,” and comment.

http://video.adultswim.com/eagleheart/blues.html

If the purpose of an album cover (“a whuuut?”, ask the kidz) is to illustrate, complement or merely represent the contents of the album itself, then there are a lot of bands who have, at some point or another, seriously dropped the ball — and it’s up to us to call them out on it!

This was brought to mind for me a few days ago, as I went looking for the J. Geils Band album that contained one of my fave JGB chunes, “The Lady Makes Demands.” It turned out it was contained on the 1973 album “Ladies Invited.” But you’d never have guessed by looking at the album cover! It’s like the band clambered into a time machine and magically transported themselves, along with their graphic designer, to the mid-80s for a sit-down with the packaging experts assisting Duran Duran or Robert Palmer. WTF? Various online music sites told me “Ladies Invited” sales were “disappointing.” No shit! It’s because nobody on Earth could have guessed that cover contained one hard-partyin’ album by Boston’s number one fun-time bar band!

Anyhow, my question to you is: what other album covers have been absolutely, completely, mysteriously WRONG like “Ladies Invited”?

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

We all have our favorite trainwreck songs and videos — bits of musi-cultural flotsam that we remain fascinated by, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that they repel us. One of mine is the song “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake. Man, this song has everything: an idiotic lyric, a singer who gloriously over-sings every line (my particular favorite: “I ain’t wastin’ no more taahhhm”), the wailing “here I goooo agaaaain” just before the tasteless solo; it’s just awesome.

But it’s the video I ned your help with today. I watched this for, like, the 500th time this morning, as marital get-back on my wife for making me listen to some awful Asia song she YouTubed in a fit of high school nostalgia. And, once again, I fell under its spell.

So many questions: why is the girl sprawled across two cars, when David Coverdale only ever drives one of them? Why is Coverdale’s glorious blonde mane always back-lit, making it look smaller? How is Coverdale able to drive with that girl literally crawling all over him? Why does he only smile once in the whole video — and why at that precise moment? What makes David Coverdale happy?

Though I’m looking for something a bit deeper than just a laundry list of “wait for it moments,” I would like to call a few out for your review, in the hopes they may shed some light on the intended meaning of this film.

First, Coverdale’s blatant crotch-stare at 2:00:

Now, his sweet and tender butterfly kiss, at 2:54:

Note that David’s fellow band-mates also may play important roles in the deciphering of this filmic mystery. Here’s the bass player licking his bass at 4:15:

… and don’t forget to catch the lead guitarist stumbling to his feet after falling to his knees during his fiery solo.

The question for all of these things is: why? What meaning can you find in this short film? I want — no, I need — answers.

I look forward to your responses.

HVB