I would never claim (or want) to be the General Manager of this formidable RTH team, but I do feel it’s within my rights to call out our real talent when the bases are loaded and we need a team player with what it takes to bring us on home. Right now, that man is Townsman Rick Massimo, and we desperately need him to give us the straight dope on this year’s American Idol contestants.
I’m hoping that Rick can specifically comment on the spine-tingling performances that Lakisha Jones and Amanda Doolittle are bringing, week in and week out. Let me tell you, both of these girls are *amazing*.
So howzaboutit, Potato? You gonna tell us what’s what? Help de-stuff the shirts ’round these parts. Help the naysayers understand that there’s a little bit of real, serious talent worth watching this season. Get in that batter’s box, son, and show us what you got!
You know, Lakisha’s starting to lose her luster for me. I’m not denying that she doesn’t do what she does very well, but she’s starting to feel sort of one-dimensional to me.
On the other hand, Melinda is so clearly superior to every single other singer on the show that it’s not even funny. She is a flat out Great Singer, and it’s been a joy to watch this timid little OCD-having freak blossom into a genuinely captivating performer.
Still miss Leslie, though. She had potential to bring the weird. Can’t wait for Gina to get the boot, though: I just can’t take seriously a woman who claims to be Miss Punky Rocker Indie Chick but does songs by…Celine. And Heart. Not even GOOD Heart, fucking Diane Warren Heart. Get her poseur ass off my screen.
Darnit. We were actually rooting for Lakesha because she was from Flint, MI (where I lived 3/4 of last year). My mum kept asking us if we saw her in any of the banks there (there’s not a tonne of stuff in Flint or anything, and just as Michael Moore portrays it, it IS hardcore living, the town that GM left behind), and my bro/sister-in-law actually recognized her from the church they went to… Anyway, we keep hoping for her. It’s a tough town to get out of.
Oh, she’ll probably do well enough to get herself and her daughter out of town, but the problem is that there are two Big Black Gal Belters this year and there’s really only room for one, and Melinda is simply way better as a singer and far more memorable as a personality.
Out this week: I’m gonna say Haley, Antonella, Jared and…I dunno. Maybe Sanjaya, but I think his fan base is gonna power-vote enough to keep him in for a while. Which is fine by me because I think there IS something of interest in there, and with some training and a decent makeover, it might come out. And speaking of coming out, Charity’s comment after the hula dancing sequence was “Okay, as if there was ever any doubt before…”
The folks at my office who watch this show religiously seem disappointed in this year’s crop of performers. I’ve got some office pool that I’m expected to join for the good of the team (and a bigger pot). I’ll take a look at it later today or this weekend. Any tips on who might go all the way? Thanks.
Melinda and Lakisha. No others need apply. Sorry Fritz, but I haven’t seen AI since I was at your house.
On the one hand, that means that I wouldn’t run home or keep my kid awake to hear any of them sing a 90-second clip of a song I may or may not like.
But it also gives me a perspective: Melinda and Lakisha are the only ones I remember. For being good, anyway. And they’re real, real good. I do actually predict second albums for them.
(Sorry for the delay on this, but I’ve actually had to work at work for the past coupla days. The nerve of these people.)
I admit I’ll watch most of an episode, but they’ve not held my interest so much that I didn’t do a chore or try to find a basketball game on another channel. Michelle has a new insult about Melinda Doolittle’s look or tiny eyes every week, but she’s pretty obviously the best. I am getting tired of the finger pointing down routine every song, but she’s mining the Gladys Knight territory pretty well without many Pips. There’s another chick who looks a little too much like Barbra Streisand circa the Main Event, and the aforemetioned large and in charge Lakisha who barring internet felatio pictures will be there in the end. Wait a minute, I guess Hummer is sponsoring the show because the Jersey girl is still on there as well.
The guys just suck out loud. At first I thought it was a new thing that there wasn’t a really embarassingly bad singer getting through because of some unidentifiable (at least to a hetero guy) sex appeal or goofy fanbase or perhaps the luck of picking two songs that they can actually sing without knowing literally ANYTHING else. I was wrong. Even so, the carnage within their performances is too boring to enjoy.
Simon needs a simile transplant, I mean, he sounds like Karaoke in a cruise boat lounge! Someone needs to tell him what precocious means too.
I’m pretty sure I’d be very insulted by most of Randy’s compliments this year. Fucking Steve Perry?!!! I’ve stopped beeleeevin’.
EXCELLENT report, Townsman Charlie! Mr. Mod, may we designate Charlie as RTH’s official correspondent on the American Idol “scene”? I believe he’d really bring a nuanced perspective to the event — neither fan nor foe, and always entertaining.
Townsman Charlie can roll out of bed at 3:00 am and hit ropes. He can be a correspondent on whatever topic he chooses.
I’ve gotta say, American Idol makes me begin to hate humanity. I know it’s all on me.
She also sings like some freaky-ass cross between Celine Dion and Fran Drescher. But it doesn’t matter, cause her ass got booted tonight. Say bye-bye as well to the Blowjob Queen, Jared (called it!) and, slightly surprisingly, Roy Head’s kid. I’m afraid that as promising as he seemed in the auditions, he never did BRING IT! to the extent that he needed to.
I’m calling Final 2 of Melinda Doolittle and Chris Sligh, and Melinda takes the crown.
Mr. Mod, you’re missing the point. By assigning Charlie a job that he’ll undoubtedly hate — but that Michelle will badger him about (so you know it’ll get done) — you’ll get the most entertaining posts on the topic one could ask for. But I suppose *you* don’t care about anyone’s thoughts on American Idol. I guess worrying about what the People want is beneath *your* dignified tastes. Well, the heck with *you*, anyway. (Said with attention to requisite over-the-top-ness, for desired comic effect.)
For the record, I’m calling a surprise long stay for the bland, cute white chick who Simon hates, and a surprise early exit for the smart-ass moptop glasses dude — Chris, is it?. I further predict that in the not-too-distant future, Simon will tell moptop that he has a great future ahead of him “in the industry,” as a songwriter, and that AI will help him get there — but that he’ll never be an “Idol.” In less earth-shakingly surprising news, I predict a final between bald white guy and Melinda, with Melinda taking it. But I think short-haired black girl will go almost all the way. Oh, and the that Jordin chick is totally hot. But what the ?!@# kind of name is “Jordin”?! I blame the hippies.
Speaking of blame, look for a rant in the near future where I lay the blame for the idiocy of an entire generation at Paul McCartney’s feet.
What POINT could I be missing? Charlie’s a funny, insightful guy. I’m jealous of him almost every time I read one of his rare, concise posts. Charlie can do anything he sets his mind to, and if he chooses to set it to AI (or Michelle chooses for him), I will not argue. I shall not piss on your American Idol parade.
Furthermore, whether I care about anyone’s thoughts on AI is beside the point. Do you agree that I am a “bigger man” by letting The People discuss AI right here on RTH? I feel like a better person for doing so. The show’s not for me, but I do think it’s important that I use these threads to deal with my disgust with humanity, at least as represented by reality shows.
I’m all about Black Snake Moan, man. I’m all about Lou Reed Behind the Green Door. Don’t worry about me. I’m very cool with what you guys have going on in this thread. I support this discussion fully. Enjoy!
Blame her dad, Phillippi. We’re lucky he didn’t call her Jordiini.
But isn’t Jordin, like, 16? Are you gonna be That Guy now, Fritz?
I so should be asleep, but right now I’m too busy laughing;) !!!