Aug 222012
 

Mockproof?

Short of appearing on the cover of Rolling Stone in a pee-soaked diaper is there anything traditionally less cool Rick Ross could have worn for his big cover shot?

I don’t know jack about Rick Ross. I suspect he makes music that I would chuckle over in a way that shows my complete lack of respect for the cacophonous, impotent complaining that I hear in most modern-day hip-hop music. I would then briefly feel a little guilty for holding such a dismissive opinion of an entire genre of music, including the fine people who dig that stuff.

Presently I feel a little guilty about looking at this photo of a fat, tattooed, bejewled man with his bunched-up briefs rising way too high above his droopy jeans and feeling remorseful that people no longer get shoved face first in toilet bowls for looking this way. He’s probably wearing “bo-bo” sneaks, maybe the 4-stripe adidas knockoffs his Mom picked out of a bin at the grocery store for $3. It’s a disgrace. It’s not cool. It’s not even “I’m so uncool I’m cool!” cool. It’s stupid.

I need to drop about 30 pounds. I need to make sure my belt is doing its job. I need to maintain a modicum of cool as I judge others, as I long for the day that musicians get back to raising the bar for cool fashions and behaviors.

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  8 Responses to “Rock Fashion Bullies Beware: There’s Nothing Left to Tease People About”

  1. bostonhistorian

    I bet some people call him “More-Eats”, as well.

  2. I think I’ve confessed to still subscribing before, and this issue (after I sped read The Pot Princess story) went straight to the recyle bin.

  3. cherguevara

    It’s not everyday I see the Philly-ism “bo-bo” so I wanted to acknowledge it.

    “bobos, they make your feet feel fine
    bobos, they cost a dollar ninety-nine.”

  4. Are Bo-bo’s a Philly thing?

  5. Maybe that is a local term. I occasionally use that term with sammymaudlin and find that it us foreign to him. He’s a sneak snob who I thought would know.

  6. cherguevara

    Maybe it isn’t local to Philly, I’ve just yet to meet anyone from outside the city who knows the term.

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