I didn’t have any idea what kind of music Goblin Cock played until I started putting this post together. Their name put me off so much that I wasn’t even willing to give them a try.
And, for the record, I would be even more turned away by a band named Lappin’ Snatch.
Blatant use of naughty-bit terms makes me wary. It took me years to give The Butthole Surfers a fair shake.
The use of umlauts is always a red flag. (Yeah, I know Hüsker Dü is cool but name another…) Do we have Blue Öyster Cult to thank for umlauts? Am I using the term “umlauts” correctly? Does the term itself have ümlaüts? Seems like it should.
Anything Germanic poses a threat. Anything biblical and/or related to hell and/or the devil and/or death.
Use of the work “metal.”
Anything intentionally misspelled. “Kreator” as a case in point is a double threat name being both biblical and misspelled. Do we have Led Zeppelin to thank for this practice? (I don’t count The Beatles as it is a play on words.)
Anything with a “z” in it gives me pause. If there hadn’t been The Zombies and that very band, which I love, came out today, I’d be wary. I’m just speaking from the heart here.
Most of the above are related to my distaste for metal. So here are some others.
I’m cautious of any band named “_____ and the _______s” unless they are from the late ’50s or early ’60s.
I am wary of any artist that simply uses his/her name if they haven’t played in a band that I’ve heard of before. Same goes for duos that go by “______ & ______.”
Use of the word “revue” or any band name that uses a number has an instant hole from which to climb.
These aren’t rules here. I’m just sayin’, any of the above make me wince and cautious.
What says you?
The 1-word, common objects that became prevalent as band names in the ’90s made me feel like I just wasn’t made for these times: Cake, Spoon, etc.
Anything that sounds remotely rockabilly or, worse yet, ’80s Cowboy Rock, possibly played by dudes donning longcoats/dusters: Jason and the Scorchers, The Long Ryders…
Bands with vampire-oriented garage rock names.
Doesn’t really piss me off that much, but I tend to avoid bands that have numbers in their names (Sum 41, Level 42)
I’m with the mod: those one common word object names were an epidemic in the early – mid 90s:
ride, lush, curve, seam, eggs, hole….
stop.
Death Cab For Cutie
Of Montreal
Panic! at the Disco
Architecture in Helsinki
My Morning Jacket
I will never even consider listening to a single note produced by any of the bands listed above because of their terrible name structure. What is that, a dangling article or something?
However:
John Cougar Concentration Camp
Todd Bridges Unchained
The Mr.T Experience
The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black
Gnarls Barkley
Hustle Simmons
Irony Maiden
These kinds of names really appeal to me even though I think I should be above it.
kilroy, this is fascinating.
how do you feel about the philly band, “uncle bob touched me?”
I have a problem with bands that misspell the word “The” to read: “Thee.” I suppose the first garage band in the 60s to do it gets a pass, but come on.
Of course, any band name that describes some lofty academic, philosophical or spiritual principle is instantly suspect: Pentangle, Love… there are lots more, but I’m blanking right now.
I’ve always thought “Hoobastank” was one of the worst band names I have ever heard. It’s just terrible.
TB
“Love” is a lofty academic principle?
I gotta give Thee Hypnotics a pass, ’cause i like them. Was there a band who did this before them? they were late 80s – mid 90s. if there was a 60s garage band with “thee” in their name, i’m blanking…
How about bands with names taken from lyrics or song titles by recent bands?
e.g., I remember reading the Khyber schedule to notice that there a band called “eric’s trip.” it felt like, maybe, less than a year after ‘daydream nation’ had come out, though i’m probably exaggerating. My response was as the great hvb has intoned above: “come on.”
and yes, hoobastank is a terrible name.
Yes! This reminds me of a potential topic I wanted to start a while ago and forgot about: trying to come up with the worst name for a tribute band or most inappropriate title for a rock memoir using the name of a song or song lyric by the band being paid tribute to or written about.
I always thought Lifehouse was all about Pete Townshend. Hmmm…I think I was wrong.
On a side, sort of related note: Napolean Dynamite. The first time I encountered this name was from the Blood and Chocolate sleeve. Imagine my excitement when a movie was called this. I’ve tried to do the research, but there’s no relation that I can find. Maybe I’ve thought too much about it. Does anybody out there know? Is this some old world name that has been handed down for generations? Did the writer/director of said movie have some sort of fixation with E.C.? Did I just miss something because I am stupid?
TB
I saw some awards show on Palladia. It was called “The Woodies”. I have no idea what this is or anything about these bands. The kids seemed pretty excited by it all. Who are these people?
One of the bands: Boys Like Girls.
What little I saw, these bands sounds like a watered down Green Day/Good Charlotte/Weezer thing. Guitars and poppy melodies.
TB
latelydavid, the band name “boys like girls” reminds me of two other band names i never liked very much:
1. “Girls vs. Boys.” Or was it “Boys vs. Girls”? Or was it written out “Boys against girls”? Since I remember that people never knew whether to say “versus.” or “against,” i think it used the abbreviation. I think it was the combination of these difficulties plus the childlike affectation of using the words “boys” and “girls” that turned me off.
2. the band name “versus”. all i can say about this is…”come on.”
oh…and latelydavid, your Lifehouse point is right-the-fuck-on. in fact, the first time i saw it, I immediately thought of the name “Eric’s Trip” and my reaction was all like….”oh, come on.”
REO Speeddealer was a cool name but I never heard their music.
I filled in on bass for a band called Don King’s Hair.
The next time I start a band, there’s a good chance it’ll be called Neckfurter. I may add umlauts for effect. Any of you guys want in on this project?
There’s a band called Thee Midniters from the 60’s that a comp cd came out a few years ago that’s pure garage goodness.
I think the name that currently bothers me most is Safetysuit. Really? Safetysuit? What kind of pure weenie crap do they play? Music for girls from age 12 to 12 and a half? I can only hope that if they ever play ina bar they get their asses kicked by girls.
On the subject of umlauts, in German you can only umlaut an ‘o,’ an ‘a,’ or a ‘u.’ So umlauts over an ‘e’ or an ‘i’ look silly to me. Maybe other languages umlaut more vowels. And no, there are no umlauts used in the word ‘umlaut’ itself. The purpose of the umlaut is to indicate a shift in the sound of the vowel. Man > men is a carryover into English of using an umlaut to pluralize the German word — Mann > Männer.
Enough with the pedantry (which I’m sure no one has even mumbled to himself after reading one of my posts). I’ve fond the perfect name for my band — Come ON.
It’s so good to know I’m not alone in holding all these beefs over band names. Shawnkilroy, in particular, really nailed it with those “dangling article” band names. Another one that’s in that camp, I think, is …And you will know them by the trail of their dead (or whatever the fuck that band’s name is)! Come on, guys, just get in touch with Roger Corman and make a B movie if that’s what you’re really into!
BigSteve writes: “Enough with the pedantry.”
I write: come on.
and BigSteve, if you use that band name, and you make a million bucks, I want royalties.
The thread already documents my integral role in its conception.
I see the umlaut over the “i” in naïve all the time.
the somewhat flawed Wiki oracle says:
“A French loanword (adjective, form of naïf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication. It can also be spelled naive. The noun form can be written naivety, naïvety, naïveté, naïvete, or naiveté.”
Look at all them dots!
There was a band that played a festival with us called Diarrhea of Anne Frank. How terrible is that?
On the other hand, we did share a bill with a band called Dropping Trou. I think we wanted to be called Dropping Trou for that one evening…
TB
Any band that has Project in the name that is not Alan Parsons… that goes for you Joe Perry!
Any band name that sound like a ten year old bathroom humor..take that Limpt Bizkit
The bad name structure thing turns me off too “….and they will know us by our trail of the dead” and the like
When I was a hipster and working at the recco sto, I would always cover up that Huffamoose album if it was out front on the rack. Alphabet be damned, I just could not look at that album cover and have that dude staring at me when I walked by.
TB
“project” is definitely a proceed with caution sign.
Hoobastank must be one of the worst names ever. I’m not sure it falls into any category. Maybe “any band called Hoobastank” is the category.
Sounds like frat-slang for crotch rot. Though the medical term for crotch rot, “Tinea Cruris”, might be a good name for a slutty lead singer.
Limp Bizkit is a double caution for me being both a misspelling and using a “z”.
Unexplained acrnoyms are bad news from where I’m sitting, too. O.A.R., etc.
If Goblin Cock had called themselves Cock Goblin instead, I’d have much more respect for them.
It would have been a hilarious, if subtle, Zeppelin sendup.
Led Zeppelin
Cock Goblin
Indeed.
I think we should acknowledge how hard it is to come up with a decent band name. All the good ones are taken (even Come On). And a lot of the ones we’re used to are pretty lame once you think about them — The Beatles, The Who, the Byrds, the Kinks etc.
One naming convention I have a hard time dealing with is the thing where an artist is basically a solo performer but gives him/herself a name as it there were a band. Iron & Wine is just Sam Beam and whomever he plays with, or even if he plays solo..
This is especially common in electronic music where there is no band, just a solo musician/programmer who puts out records under a named identity, often more than one. Wolfgang Voigt is Gas, Mike Ink, M:I:5, Love Inc., Studio 1, Filter, and a bunch of others. Sometimes this is to distinguish between different styles, sometimes not.
The ‘ï’ in naïve is not really a true umlaut. It’s a trema, used to indicate phonological diaeresis, that is when two consecutive vowels are pronounced separately as a hiatus, rather than together in a diphthong.
[This is saturn’s fault. Stop me before I go all pedantic again.]
To make this rock-related, I like the fact that Elvis Costello’s keyboard player, Steve, avoided even the suspicion of an umlaut by spelling his last name Nieve.
true, BigSteve, it definitely IS hard to come up with a decent band name.
but i think we all know that. i think we’re just expressing our gut reactions to hearing certain names, and beyond that, an awareness of certain types of names that we found we don’t like viscerally.
in fairness, it’s possible to be aware of how hard it is to make a good band name, but still not like certain kinds of band names.
i still wince when i tell people my own band’s name (which, by the way, skirts dangerously close to your pet peeve of being a name for me, and whomever i’m playing with at the time, although i don’t bill myself that way on solo shows). and they usually make me say it again, because it didn’t quite sound like a band name to them the first time they heard it.
but i gotta say: i think “The Who” is one of the more clever band names out there. and i HAVE thought about it. this isn’t just blind acceptance.
BigSteve, thänks for the umlaut clarificaïtion.
I almost always HATE telling people my band’s name. One reason is the follow up question is usually, “What does that mean?” The thing is, we couldn’t think of a band name. We’ve tried. We even tried to rename ourselves when we replaced our drummer a few years ago. We were all set to be something different. Something new. When we hit the stage, we knew we were just the same. So the name defines us. Or we define the name. Or something. The simple thing is that we just named ourselves after the first two words of a song that we wrote. It doesn’t “mean” anything.
Plus, everyone wants to to know, “Who’s David?” At one point, we did have a David in the band. But he’s gone now. And he had nothing to do with our name anyway.
Naming a band is hard.
TB
Before I started writing music full-time, I spent 20+ years as an advertising/marketing guy, and got to the point where I realized “branding” was, for the most part, a huge waste of time and money. When my business partner and I were casting about for a name for our soundtrack/studio business, I actually used the Rolling Stones brand as an example of this phenomenon. My point was this: it really doesn’t matter what you call yourself; as long as you put out a good product, and people like you, your name will *come to mean something*. Like the Rolling Stones! If the band sucked, we’d all be slagging them off for their retarded name. But they don’t, and so the stupid name has lost its stupidity.
At the end of my rant, I stuck my fork into a stalk of asparagus (we were eating Chinese stir-fry), and said: “we could call ourselves ‘Asparagus Media,’ for all I care” — and that’s just what we did. We get more compliments on that silly name!
Here’s what I want to know: can we get RTHers in bands to share the names of their groups, so we can get a good look at everybody’s junk?
I’ll start: I’m in a band with townsman mockcarr called The Chilblains, as well as in a semi-real, stupid cover band called the Copronauts.
I don’t think anyone has mentioned yet that a band name that consists of a word for a geographical entity is almost always a deal-breaker.
I’m game, Hrrundi:
I’ve been in Nixon’s Head with Andyr and Chickenfrank (and rarely posting Townsman Sethro) since 1984. The name was PERFECT in our minds when we came upon it (I saw a book by that title sitting on a friend’s bed in college a couple of years earlier).
Then we realized that the name suggested to people that we were a hardcore band, when we were thinking more along the lines of our earliest childhood Presidential memories of a sideburned Nixon. We were confident, for a few years, that our outstanding ability would cement any connotations to our intended ones.
Then we realized that wouldn’t be the case and briefly toyed with getting away from the name. Then we came back to it. It has served us well, in obscurity, since that time. The vibe of our childhoods in the early ’70s is still valid in our minds and our music, and we still relate to all connotations related to the “head” part, as in “head music,” “pothead,” etc.
Bands I’ve been in (if even only for a night): The Abusers, The Wimptones, Swell Mobsmen, Inner Lizard.
“Who’s playing tonight?”
“The Shitty Beatles!”
“Are they any good?”
“No! They suck!”
“So, it’s not just a clever name?”
My band is called Lately David and is the only band I’ve ever really been in. Some side projects I have been involved with are The Naked Donnas (so named well before The Donnas were around, so we weren’t making pervy jokes…) and Robert Brenton. Those don’t count.
TB
hvb says: “If the band sucked, we’d all be slagging them off for their retarded name. But they don’t, and so the stupid name has lost its stupidity.”
but not for BigSteve, who says: “a lot of the ones we’re used to are pretty lame once you think about them — The Beatles, The Who, the Byrds, the Kinks etc.”
you guys are sort of saying the same thing, though BigSteve is expressing his ability to spot a stupid name despite the genius of the songsters who work under said name.
hvb, here are some of the names of bands I’ve been in.
Tons of Nuns, Holy Smoke, Uptown Bones, Baby Flamehead, Psychic Enemies, Suffacox, Lilys, Vibrolux, Original Sins, and We Have Heaven (yes, you read that right, and I’m still in that one).
There are lots of others, but they didn’t last as long, and some of them, I can’t recall (“Rotgut” being one I *can*, however).
Friends of mine and I are planning a cover band that will play nothing but songs by Yes and Rush. We’re going to call it “Yesh.”
Any of you fuckers steal this idea, I’ll kill you.
The guitarist in my most recent band prided himself on creating band names. We were called “Generous Gents”. The name comes from classified ads that hookers would place in the paper (generous gents only need apply..)
Previously, he was in “Dose Pump” and “The Thrillionaires”
Hey, northvancoveman — your guitarist is a good name guy. I like all of those monikers.
For the record, the only other bands I was in that were worth a shit (and in which I had a hand naming) were Bob’s Revenge and Where’s Jay. If Bob’s Revenge sounds like a slightly punk-ish college band from the 80s, that’s ‘cuz that’s what it was. Where’s Jay was named after a handyman who never left my group house — always finding something new to do in order to drink our beer and harangue us with conspiracy theories. Then one day, he just stopped coming by. Hence the musical question: Where’s Jay?
Jay was full of quotable quotes that we named things after. Our first “album” was called “The Noble Fig” because his response to us razzing him over his choice of snack foods (a bag of figs) was to say: “hey, dude — don’t malign the noble fig. I’m eating 3,000 years of human history here!”
Saturn, you should go guru and create an all-female Rush cover band and call them Sheesh. Instant millionaire.
Rick Massimo and I had a band in college called the Plural Nouns.
The only band I was ever in was called The Vague Machos. I don’t think explaining the origin would help much.
I always liked that Exploding MCs name, who I believe Chickenfrank coined. I know it was supposed to be about a Monte Carlo, but I had visions of Gene Rayburn spontaneously combusting when he did some corny dialect on Match Game.
A.F.U., The Manly Arts, Assasins, Day of the Assasins, Dizrythmia, Soma, Helden, Doomtown, The Doomtown Men’s Choir, Hector Boyd, Hector Boyd of London, Boyd of London, Kilroy, Hessians, Shawn Kilroy & The Hessians.
mockcarr, that is the second time the internet made me laugh out loud today!
I’d forgotten about another band I was briefly in with mockcarr: Kelpy Krown. I always liked that extremely silly name — probably mainly because of the memory I have of the lead singer, “Trip,” parading around our practice space with a four-foot-high slab of acoustic foam wrapped around his head in a giant tube. He proclaimed this, in one of his weird Robin Williams-like rants, to be his “kelpy crown,” and it was just weird enough to stick.
I have an old four-track of Trip singing a song he wrote called “On Horses We Ride” that I desperately want to share with the world. It’s the weirdest hobbit-rock explosion you’ll ever hear. This is also the guy who used to sing “Takin’ Care Of Business thusly (sing to the tune of the chorus):
Ryook-a-puck-a-poi-poi… PARAGUAY!
Ryook-a-puck-a-poi-poi… URUGUAY!
His made-up lyrics to “Tales Of Brave Ulysses”:
A thousand purple fishes, run laughing through your fingers…
Your mind melts! Your hand stands!
NOW CALL UNTO YOUR SANITY!
I heard Trip went on to become a teacher. Gulp.
Going backwards:
The Knife & Fork Band
The Manayunk Homeboys
Bob’a’Lu
The Love Dogs (a misquote from Richard Hell’s big number, “Love Dogs in Space”)
The Poikilotherms
Mothra, Jr.
The Judies
The Stickmen
Admiral God & the Rising Cost of Living
I think I read the following question in the Rolling Stone Album Guide (concerning Asia):
“Why do bands with continent-sized names suck so much?”
Asia, Europe…
TB
Offshoot bands I’ve been in and had a hand in naming/forming:
Autumn Carousel (Chickenfrank’s name)
Frankenslade
The Dukes of Badass (Chick and/or Andyr’s name?)
The Sultans of Hell (and their precursor, The Warlords of War)
Butch Pussy
Three Miles Island
When touring, Nixon’s Head had some emergency formations to play under in case two or more members took ill: Three-Headed Pig, Double-Breasted Wombat, and One-Toed Sloth, if I remember the emergency solo act masquerading as a band. Once in Johnstown, PA we got to enact the emergency 3-piece formation!
I was having a discussion just the other day with someone about band names and locales.
at the Art Star Craft Bazaar, the band who played before us was called Perkasie (mrclean, you’re familiar with the name, i’m sure), the name of a *little town* between Philly and the Lehigh Valley.
my conversation partner wanted to lump this in with bands named after big cities (Boston, Chicago), states (Kansas), countries (i’m blanking here), and continents (Asia, Europe).
I am not sure where I stand on this. can the collective wisdom of RTH weigh in? Is a band name like Perkasie just as a offensive as a band name like “Asia”, because both refer to a geographic region?
Geographic names are always risky. Maybe not automatic suck indicators. The MC5 and the Detroit Wheels avoided auto-suck, and Doug Sahm’s Texas Tornadoes were ok by me. But then there’s the Delaware Destroyers.
I don’t know anything about Perkasie. Is a name like that supposed to self-deprecating? Maybe it could work. There was a pretty good band named Mamou, which is a small place, but the name is obviously meant to be evocatively Cajuny, and it over-reaches.
I kind of like Somebody & the Somethings format names, as long as the first part of the name is an identifiable member of the band (no Hooties). Those work best with some kind of retro music. There used to a band back home called somebody (I forget the first part of the name) & the Can’t Hardly Playboys. I thought that was pretty funny, but google tells me that other people have used that twist too.
My previous bands, also going backwards:
The Donuts (I just realized that we played with shawnkilroy/Boyd of London)
Five Foot Hoagie
The Voyeurs
Atticus Finch
Don King’s Hair (we played in drag – not sure why)
The Stickmen (not the same as Geo’s)
The Ashcats (College band – we just played the drummers 25th reunion)
I haven’t settled in on a name for the ukulele orchestra that I’m in. I know I said I was going to use the name Neckfurter for the next band I was in but it doesn’t seem to suit the uke orchestra.
I have one other name that I think is killer but I have to keep it under wraps in case I need it down the road.
I think the name “Somebody and the Somethings” is pretty good, as long as the frontman doesn’t beat it to death by continuously referring to himself by saying “Hi! I’m Somebody! Yuck Yuck.”
BigSteve, I think there’s a BigDifference between stand-alone geographical names (Asia) and ones that incorporate the geographical locale into a phrase like the ones you cite above, even “George Thoroughgood and the Delaware Destroyers.”
Gee Mr. Mod, and here I thought Nixon’s Head was from Futurama, but you guys were way ahead of the curve on that one.
I’ve never been in a band, but there’s a couple local bands I always liked the names of, or just ended up remembering for some reason:
Hostile Amish
Jehovah’s Waitresses
Easter Monkeys
Pony Boys
The Adults (man, I loved those guys!)
Starvation Army
Les Black’s Fabulous Pink Holes
I remember a hilarious band of black guys that played 80’s heavy metal and called themselves Black Death. There were tons of metal bands around here, and they had funny names but they were all popular.
I like the use of “teens” as a suffix. A Teens, Rock A Teens, Dexateens – those are great names, and I like them a lot.
i was in coal country shooting a documentary a few years back. Dick Yeungling said he’d give us a few cases of beer to help us get the coal miners(drunk)to open up about their lives a bit. we couldn’t find the brewery so i walked(backintime)into a small luncheonett and asked an old man where the brewery was. He said,”It’s up the street just past the salivation army.
I thought Salivation Army would be a decent band name.
Back when we were toying with the notion of changing our name we liked the following:
The Februaries (because it looks pretty and sounds pretty to say, but there seems to already be a The Februaries)
The Space Race
The Academy (This is another named after one of our songs, but there is a band called The Academy Is, so it died on the vine.)
All the best names are taken.
TB
Oops I forgot, I was once in a tribute band called Prince Duran, with Barry Sharp, Dain Wilson, and Jamie Mahon. We played the music of Prince and Duran Duran.
in my house.
our friend Kurt has a fake band name. It is Lilys
yes Sat – when I heard of the band “Perkasie” I mentioned it to m.ace – my old musical friend and former resident of said town. We both laughed and scratched our heads…I imagine they may get lots of “what is your band name all about?” questions?
As for my old band names – working past to present:
Diamond (high school cover band)
Queue (morphed from Diamond – both featured female singers)
Zero
Narthex (was Zero)
The Dead Milkmen
Baby Flamehead
The Big Mess Orchestra
…and the Dead Milkmen continue today (BTW – our next show in Baltimore at the Insubordination Fest – check out the band lineup for some choice names there…)
I have collaborated with m.ace over the years on a few recording only type projects (many are available for free download including Zero and Nathex material) here: http://ookworld.com/albums/
Some names: The Hunger Artists, Ditch Devils, Beateaters, and “Castor & Pollux”
Yeah, I know the band name pre-dates it, but like 2000 Man, Richard Nixon’s immortal head and his terrible robot body from Futurama does come to mind sometimes.
As a fan of both, I’ve wondered about the choice of not using “The” for either Lilys or Photon Band for a while.
The geographic rule probably doesn’t apply or at least factors in less for smaller and lesser known places. There must be a certain arrogance involved with naming yourself after an entire continent or a well known city that just seems to set bands up for failure.
Accordingly, I would name my band All Of Creation.
shawnkilroy, you KNOW Dick Yeungling?
Please call him and tell him to start selling his beer in Cleveland. I’m tired of driving to PA just to buy beer, and since they killed Rolling Rock I need a reasonably priced, delicious American beer. I don’t mind Shiner or Molson’s but Texas and Canada ain’t exactly America, ya know?
shawnkilroy, when i met Barry Sharp, he was fronting a band called “James Bondage.”
alex, my membership in both PB and Lilys may or may not have something or nothing to do with their common omission of the “The.” And now I have said too much.