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Carlos Santana Sex Tape Surfaces!

Oct 162010

Yeah, baby!

Recently, Rock Town Hall’s Erocktica division came across a Carlos Santana sex tape. To our knowledge this is the first public airing of this professionally produced but long-supressed group sex scenario in front of a live audience.

After taking the necessary legal precautions, we feel confident that the following clip is as legitimate as it is sexy. As lovely as you are likely to find this performance, however, it is definitely NSFW. Even on a weekend we only feel comfortable posting it after the jump…

Tori Amos: Professional Wrestling’s New Cyndi Lauper?

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Sep 292010

Oh, Tori!

From Slate, courtesy of Townsman berlyant, professional wrestler Mick Foley’s life was changed by Tori Amos:

I eventually gathered my courage and made a pilgrimage to Tori’s side of the convention hall. There she was: bright orange hair, high distinct cheekbones, and a warm smile for each fan who posed by her side. I was about 10 feet from her when she looked over, got up from her chair, and extended both her arms. “I can hug you?” I asked, disbelieving. And then Tori put her arms around me. Though I probably outweigh her by 200 pounds, I felt like an innocent child in the arms of an angel. Laugh if you want, but this is how I remember it—I was a child, and she was an angel. More…

BREAKING NEWS: Yet Another Townsperson Steps Up to Call Bullshit on My Calling Bullshit on Livestock Claims Regarding ZZ Top’s Worldwide Texas Tour!

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Sep 282010

There are reasons we rarely close the comments on the issues that are discussed on Rock Town Hall. Among them, with our deep archives, we never know when someone will dig back into a once-hot topic and put his or her stamp on it. At times we try to recognize the new, key detail that’s been added to the rock discussion record. Today, we add yet another eyewitness account of ZZ Top‘s Worldwide Texas Tour, the legendary tour involving livestock on stage while the band performed. Because I’d never seen photos of the band performing surrounded by livestock, I called Bullshit On this tour! Thankfully, Townspeople like gregg were there…to call Counter-Bullshit On me! Thanks, gregg!

Next, UNDENIABLE EVIDENCE! Continue reading »

Speaking of…

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Aug 302010

Lennon’s john.

Using the introductory phrase “Speaking of…” see if we can’t build a chain of tangentially related rock thoughts.

I’ll start this exercise with the following: “Speaking of the Bealtes, did you see that a toilet used by John Lennon was auctioned off for nearly $15,000?”

The first person who posts to this “speaking of…” should build, tangentially, off John Lennon, rock ‘n roll toilets, auctions, or any other tangentially related subject – just not the original subject that we assume had been spoken of, “The Beatles.”

Got that? The following person posting would then build off the previous “speaking of…”

As I was saying, Speaking of the Bealtes, did you see that a toilet used by John Lennon was auctioned off for nearly $15,000?

Paul McCartney Settles With Hamish Stuart

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Aug 202010

The fallout over the dissolution of the Paul McCartney-Hamish Stuart partnership has reached settlement. In a tersely worded statement by Mr. McCartney’s attorneys, the former Wings legend has agreed to pay Mr. Stuart an “undisclosed amount of cash and grant visitation rights” for the Hofner bass that the two used to trade on stage between songs during Mr. McCartney’s Flowers in the Dirt tour. The McCartney camp had no comment on Mr. Stuart’s 2007 accusations.

Hamish Stuart (second from left), in better times.

“I’m just thankful this long nightmare is over,” said Mr. Stuart, when reached at his home studio, “and I wish Paul nothing but the best.”

Dave Navarro Regrets

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Aug 192010

Dave Navarro, the judge of our recent Tom Petty Cook-Off Contest, is a good guy – really – who regrets those moments when he’s less of his usual good-guy self. From his Facebook page:

Once in a while, a Jane’s Addiction fan will approach me when I am hungry or tired on just in a bad mood. The interaction can feel a little tense, simply cause of how I feel, nothing to do with them. However, they take it personally and I can actually see the disappointment in their eyes as they realize this guy in a band they like is kind of a dick!

Did somebody speak too soon?

Posted by mikeydread

Aug 062010

Recently, Townsmen were invited to reflect on the following:

Will somebody please explain how and why washed-up rapper Wyclef Jean manages to show up at gigs like this? I have been flummoxed by his red carpet magnetism for years now. I just don’t get it.

And I have to say that I hadn’t given Wyclef Jean much thought up until then. Or after.

Until today, when this headline leapt at me from the pages of the Guardian:

Wyclef Jean confirms he will run for Haiti president

Wyclef Jean, the Haitian-born rap star who became one of the world’s most popular hip-hop artists, has told the Guardian that he will run for president of Haiti in the country’s November elections.

Somebody much wiser than me observed that greatest hits albums are like political careers: each tends to end in failure.

But clearly the guy has pull. Or thinks he does. Have any former – or practicing – musicians ever had a successful career in politics?

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