Where have I been, too busy with the Phillies’ World Series run and then an historic Presidential Election to have caught Joaquin Phoenix‘s announcement that he was retiring from acting to concentrate on music?
Don’t bother, Joaquin! We know you won an Academy Award for your reduction of Johnny Cash to a slobbering, life-sized punk who could only be saved by the love of a Strong Woman in a film that most moviegoers will never think about again in 2 years time, unless you don’t get your act together by then and that’s all the clips we have to run alongside your obit, but you’re not only no Johnny Cash. You’re not even River.
Your best acting role was the one that required the least amount of acting, the hopped-up halfwit kid Nicole Kidman‘s character seduces into killing her husband in the excellent To Die For. Get your act together. Enjoy your fate as a high-class Jim Belushi and keep finding movie roles that allow you to mumble and look hurt. You’re not completely talentless…as an ACTOR. The world’s got enough second-rate rock musicians. We don’t need you hogging precious space on Tuesday night gigs. You can make records on the side, just like JIm does.
There are worse fates, my friend.
I think he’s a much better actor the Jim B. but this is need to tel the world is lame. Did you see the photos of his fists forward which read “Bye!” and “Good”. YEs, he mixed up the order on his fists for the photo so it reads “Bye! Good”. To funny.
I’d like to pitch a sitcom — According to Joaquin. He could combine his two loves, mediocre singing and mediocre acting.
1. It ain’t true. I’ve never seen a lousier bit of acting than Joaquin’s “retirement announcement” — not that that should surprise anybody.
No, wait, that’s not true, Casey Affleck’s cock-block was even less convincing. And can I just pause tape here for a moment to say that any actor named “Casey” is bound to suck?
2. That Jim Belushi footage is dire. Seriously, the man *must* know how bad he sucks. Right?
Hey Joaquin, Kevin Bacon & Russell Crowe can juggle music and acting (although they mostly drops the “music” ball), what’s your problem?
I actually saw River, Rain and Joaquin (when he was still known as “Leaf”) play JC Dobbs back in the 80’s when they were in a band called Aleka’s Attic. I was friendly with the Island Records rep that was dragging them around so I even had dinner with the family upstairs (I felt funny being the only one having a burger). I remember thinking it was odd how deferential the father was to River.
I’m not so sure. I believe that he has convinced himself by now that his brother’s career happened to him, and that you could probably get Jim Belushi to tell stories about being the Samurai on SNL.
My greatest regret during the post-World Series celebrations is forgetting to smash the window of that cigar store on 3rd and South here so I could steal that autographed photo they have in the window of The Belush and Chuck Norris enjoying cigars together.
Hey, my nephew is named Casey! Granted he’s a Marine now, but I don’t want to limit his future career options.
Actually he was named after my dad, whose given name was Oran (yeah, I know, weird), but was known as Casey because was a railroad man, an engineer, the kind that drove the train, not the slide rule kind.
Anyway, Casey has become a cute name, though I have a different perspective on it. I’ve known three women whose initials were K.C. who were known as Casey. This kind of thing has caused some historical cuteness drift. Casey used to be a more crusty same.
Don’t get me started on modern-day naming issues. I mean, why? Why should anyone feel obligated to name their child “Connor” when Henry or John are available?
You know who did a great job naming his two rats? Gergley. Just want to go on record with that. I don’t know that he’d want me to share their names in a public forum, but I always thought he did a great job resurrecting some beautiful girls’ names that were traditionally excellent, but had fallen into disuse for no good reason. You can tell him I said so.
HVB
Pince nez: Phoenix did not win an Oscar for Walk the Line; he won a Golden Globe.
You got me, Oats! There was so much hype about that movie that I was sure he won. 🙂
For the record, Casey Affleck is excellent in that recent western THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD. He plays the coward Robert Ford, who is creepily worshipful of James until his weasellyness goes unappreciated. Testosterone-deficient actors like him are fine when they play testosterone-deficient characters like Robert Ford.
Anyone who likes those 70’s-style revisionist westerns should check that movie out, it is way better than I imagined.
In other movie noews, I finally broke down and bought my own personal copy of one of my favorite movies, “Elmer Gantry.” I watched it for the first time in a few years tonight, and,
a.) “Elmer Gantry” is an amazing movie.
b.) “Elmer Gantry” is both a timeless movie and a movie very much about our times *right now*.
c.) Burt Lancaster is, as always, a mutha-f*ckin’ STAR. Definitely a dark horse for the “most rockin’ movie star” award, at many levels.
d.) I keep forgetting this, but the young Shirley Jones is ab-so-lutely, unbelievably, totally, aytch-oh-tee HOT. Whoosh! That girl is something else!
HVB
Awesome brush with weirdness, db! After downing their vegetarian meals, did the family cram into the bathroom and shoot up together?
.) Burt Lancaster is, as always, a mutha-f*ckin’ STAR. Definitely a dark horse for the “most rockin’ movie star” award, at many levels.
Agreed! I’ve meant to but somehow never seen “Elmer Gantry”. Now I will! Have you seen “Sweet Smell of Success”? Highly recommended and another gem performance by Lancaster. The dialogue is great too.
Count me in on the Lancaster fan club:
http://overlookedgems.blogspot.com/2007/01/deluded-optimism-of-burt-lancaster.html
Lancaster’s voice has always bothered me. When he gets going in those breathy blurts, I need subtitles.