I recently spent a long, productive weekend (that has not seemed to end as of Wednesday evening) working a large function in a very nice hotel in Boston. While working extremely long days, I spent very little time in my hotel room and, therefore, was at the mercy of whatever canned music was playing in the hotel’s meeting, lobby, and other public spaces. The AV producer in the main meeting room was someone I’d worked with before. He’s a major Beatles head and a great guy, so he’s always got good transition music ready to go in the main meeting room of our events: Beatles, early Stones, and he plays a lot of ’70s, funky New Orleans-style stuff, like Dr. John’s “Right Place, Wrong Time”, Robert Palmer’s version of “Sneaking Sally Through the Alley”, and Little Feat’s “Sailing Shoes”, all of which are pretty good in small doses when trapped in a large hotel meeting room. He does not, however, control the music pumped into the dining area, the lobby, and the bathrooms, so some of the following queries cannot be attributed to the music my man had programmed. After that long set up, don’t forget that your gut responses to the following questions are requested. Here we go!
What was the best song I heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
a) “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”
b) “Psychedelic Shack”
c) “Roller Coaster of Love”
d) Some Earth, Wind & Fire song
Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak? I don’t notice it anymore when I’m in an elevator while traveling for work.
What song by a band that I’m not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
a) Chicago, “25 or 6 to 4”
b) Kansas, “Dust in the Wind”
c) The Eagles, “Hotel California”
d) Boston, “More Than a Feeling”
Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
a) Classical
b) Jazz fusion
c) Country
d) New Age
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
I look forward to your responses.
What was the best song you heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
d) Some Earth, Wind & Fire song
E,W, & F just seems like one of those bands that you would enjoy while their playing, but you wouldn’t go out of your way to actually put one of their records on.
Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak?
Muzak is the anti-Rock. No, I don’t miss it, but I might if I suddenly walked into a brocery store or something and was slapped in the brain with it. For nosalgic reasons.
What song by a band that you’re not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
a) Chicago, “25 or 6 to 4”
Just because. 1) They’re Chicago. 2) I actually dig this tune, but it seems extra special pumped through a lobby for some reason.
Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
I wouldn’t do it. Not ever.
What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
d) New Age
New Age is the only style of music that I’ve discovered that I really hate. I truly hate it. I took a job once at Barnes & Noble. The day I was filling out endless paperwork and reading up on the company history, they were pumping this shit through the store speakers. I went home with the worst headache of all time. I blame the music.
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
Any time I recognize anything by Paul McCarney from Flowers in the Dirt (1989) onward. It gives me a perverse sense of pride.
TB
The best song you heard was “Rollercoster of Love,” I guess.
I don’t miss Muzak.
“More Than a Feeling” sounds best.
“Honky Tonk Woman” can be appropriate as background rock in a business meeting. Most Stones songs at this point are so ingrained into our culture, they’re practically politically correct. Except maybe “Some Girls.”
Jazz fusion
Favorite Muzak moment: For a brief spell during high school, I worked at Rickels (a now-defunct hardwore superstore). The new wave nostalgia wave must’ve just started, as I heard Muzak versions of “Pulling Mussels from a Shell” and “Watching the Detectives” while working there.
Psychedelic Shack would be best for me, mainly because it’s not something you hear all the time.
I don’t miss the old, serious soul-destroying Muzak, but as Oats suggests the interesting period was when you’d hear Muzakized versions of actual songs you liked. It was more insidious in a way, but also more interesting. Now stores just play the real versions.
I’m guessing Boston for the lobby listening.
Honky Tonk Women would only be appropriate if it was used somewhat ironically and also if the transition was brief enough that it was over before the vocals, so all you got was the riff.
Because of the association of country music and beer, I’d program country for the men’s room.
Having lived through the old Muzak regime, I just find it weird to hear something like the Clash in the cereal aisle.
You guys are good! Keep ’em coming. I’ll provide my answers later.
I’m interpreting this question not to be which of those listed is the best song, but which is the best song to hear while eating breakfast at a hotel restaurant setting. In that case, while Psychedelic Shack and Love Rollercoaster are the better songs, neither strikes me as a public breakfast song. Ain’t No Stopping Us Now is intriguing. But I’m going to say that an Earth, Wind & Fire song, especially if it is “That’s The Way of the World”, would best pair with having breakfast in a hotel’s dining area on a Saturday morning. Possibly only topped by Steve Wonder’s “As”. I could see myself eating some hotel waffles from a breakfast buffet and reading the paper to As.
A little bit. I work in a building in town with those elevators that have TV screens with news and factoids on them, which is the visual equivalent of Muzak. I don’t think I’d mind the return of Muzak to a grocery store. Possibly a hipster retro grocery store. And maybe it’d be some Moog Cookbook kinda stuff. I may try to open one of these stores, who’s in?
Dust In the Wind and Hotel California are too empty for a lobby. I think “25 or 6 to 4” (is there a song with a worse origin for its title, by the way?) has the goods to thrive in the lobby setting. Maybe only in the lobby setting, while “More Than a Feeling” has strengths best used elsewhere.
Sure. “Brown Sugar” would be pushing it.
I am willing to bet there are people who have been paid very handsomely to scientifically determine the ideal style of music to play in a hotel men’s room. And now that I have given the question some thought, I think I’d urinate best to jazz fusion. Country is too divisive. New Age might work in a ladies’ room, I can’t speak to that. Classical is for the on-hold music for a phone, and companies don’t want to subliminally train you to piss yourself while you’re on hold because you heard some Vivaldi. Yep, jazz fusion.
Nothing specific is coming to mind. Thinking of Muzak is making me think of going over to Jersey and shopping at Clover’s.
What was the best song I heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
c) “Roller Coaster of Love”
Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak? I don’t notice it anymore when I’m in an elevator while traveling for work.
Kind of, I guess. My grandfather used to buy 8-tracks of the stuff and listen to it *on purpose*. I have a soft spot for it as a result. At least it doesn’t pretend to be “real music,” like Michael Bolton or Kenny G or something.
What song by a band that I’m not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
d) Boston, “More Than a Feeling”
Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
In my youth, I actually ran sound for large conferences, and I have to say it would never have been appropriate for any meeting I did.
What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
b) Jazz fusion
… come on, man. It’s *always* jazz fusion!
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
I could swear I heard a Sex Pistols tune done Muzak-stylee once. Or maybe it was the Clash — but it was definitely a full-on “punk” number.
What was the best song I heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
d) Some Earth, Wind & Fire song
Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak?
I might be too young for this question to apply to me, but honestly, I hate those bastardized versions of good songs my parents listen to on the radio sometimes.
What song by a band that I’m not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
c) The Eagles, “Hotel California”
Yeah, the song is incredibly boring and bland, but its inoffensive, and makes passable background music I guess.
Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
Maybe at a pimping convention?
What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
b) Jazz fusion
Have you noticed how the music is always louder in the bathroom? I wonder if there’s some sort of niche in the music industry for music to piss too.
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
When I noticed the melody of some random Muzak song had an uncanny resemblance to the chorus of Ginger Ale Afternoon by the Flaming Lips.
Those of you who have answered and are commenting on the CORRECT choice of “b) Jazz fusion” are totally hitting the mark with your insights! I’ll share my thoughts on the other questions later.
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
“Any time I recognize anything by Paul McCarney from Flowers in the Dirt (1989) onward. It gives me a perverse sense of pride.”
WOW! That was just what I was gonna say ” Hope OF Deliverence” “Put It There”, “Figue Of Eight” “Young Boy” “Dance Tonight” those songs jump out of the easy listening at Target or Wal Mart.
I like Chicago (was the first concert I saw in 1982 as a 12 year old) so I go with 25 or 6 to 4
Jazz Fusion in the bathroom
How About the Stones’ Stray Cat Blues for the board meeting (Bet your momma never heard you scream like that)
I worked for New Age Voice Magazine for three years. This stuff (and these artists) are from outer space. The world music is ok, but the “Jazz Fusion without the fun” stuff is so bad. I did get to talk to Patrick O”Hearn from Frank Zappa’s band and I got to hear the French band AIR before they were big.
What was the best song I heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
c) “Roller Coaster of Love”
Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak? I don’t notice it anymore when I’m in an elevator while traveling for work.
Yes, I do miss it. I think it’s funny.
What song by a band that I’m not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
a) Chicago, “25 or 6 to 4”
Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
Always!
What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
c) Country – the Journey with Cowboy Hats kind.
What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
I actually heard some really obscure Jethro Tull song once in a grocery store. One of those ten minute long ones, and it was awesomely funny. I remember laughing the whole time I was in the store because I couldn’t help thinking that if Tull had actually released that on an album, their fans would have ate it up.
I forgot all about Rickels. Who knew insult comedy and hardware wouldn’t mix?
I was about to reply to this and say that “Pulling Mussels From A Shell” (a song I like) somehow seems like the perfect song to make the transition to Muzak, but 2000 Man’s reply reminds me that “Bungle In The Jungle” would have to be the easiest song to make the Muzak jump.
Speaking of post-89 Macca on the Muzak, I always seem to recognize “Distractions.” At the grocery store, at Wendy’s, and Toys R Us. That’s about three times to many, if you ask me.
One night at the local grocery store, they were jamming out to “I Say A Little Prayer”. Perfect for the cereal aisle.
TB
-What was the best song I heard at breakfast on Saturday morning?
a) “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”…this very thing happened to me at a conference last fall.
-Do you miss old-fashioned Muzak?
Yes. Yes I do.
-What song by a band that I’m not by any means a fan of sounded best when pumped through the lobby?
b) Kansas, “Dust in the Wind”: STILL suffering in our collective consciousness from being overplayed in 1978 (!!!) but not really as bad as we remember it (he said hesitantly…).
-Is The Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” ever appropriate for transitional music during a large business meeting?
Absolutely. It’s a brave new world we live in, Mr. Mod. Remember all those songs from the 60s youth counterculture about how the “older” generation would eventually die? THIS was what those baby boomer lyric writers had in mind: the right to listen to ROCKANDROLL whenever and wherever they want. Who are WE to question the most narcissistic generation the world has ever known?
-What style of music is most likely playing in the men’s room across from the hotel’s large meeting room?
a) Classical…if it’s a regular old hotel.
d) New Age…or techno-lite if it’s owned by someone with Steven Starr’s tastes.
-What’s your favorite Muzak moment?
The stop in a muzak version of “Fool on the Hill” after the word “sun” and before the phrase “spinning ’round.”
I wrote: The stop in a muzak version of “Fool on the Hill” after the word “sun” and before the phrase “spinning ’round.”
That’s the Sergio Mendes version, to be truthful. But I heard it in many a super market.
So the bathroom answer is “Jazz Fusion”? Seriously? as in Mahavishnu Orchestra jazz fusion? or “Bitches Brew” Jazz fusion? Nahhh…..really?
No, not the good jazz fusion but the kind from later in the ’70s to this day, the kind of stuff you don’t even want to know about – cranked up!
So here are my thoughts from last weekend’s experiences:
c) “Roller Coaster of Love”
I heard all of those songs in a row, in that sequence, and “Roller Coaster of Love” most helped me get centered and ready for another hard day’s night. Prior to that I was feeling Philly Pride for McFadden and Whitehead, but “Roller Coaster…” sounds so right.
Sometimes I do. It was bland background music that never seemed tied into any marketing campaign. Now, whenever I hear pop music being played in elevators I sense I’m being sold something, like those CNN screens in airports and supermarket checkout lines.
d) Boston, “More Than a Feeling”
As always I’m impressed by how airtight and timeless the sound of the first Boston album is.
I don’t know. As someone mentioned, it was only the intro that was played while attendees at the meeting answered a question on an Audience Response System device, but I felt uncomfortable, like my tie was askew.
b) Jazz fusion
No joke – the ponytailed/porn face/funky variety…maybe the only form of music that ever makes me think segregation had its merits.
I used to like hearing “Strawberry Fields Forever” done as Muzak. The arrangement lent itself to that style.
I swear to God, Mr. Mod, I was reading down this tread getting ready to post, and I would’ve gone 4 for 6.
As for my favorite Muzak moment, it has to be “Should I Stay or Should I Go.”
Take that old Muzak off the shelf.
I’ll shop and listen to it by myself.
Excellent, Rick! Which questions would you have gotten “wrong?”
I would’ve been leery of Honky Tonk Women, and there is no “right” or “wrong” answer to the final question.
Are you sure the bathroom music was fusion? Not “Smooth Jazz”?
Isn’t “Smooth Jazz” a subgenre of fusion? I dread hearing from an expert on this topic:)
Smooth Jazz is the new Muzak.
or…it’s a blend of california cool style jazz and muzak.
i don’t think of it as related to fusion, except in theory, because it “fuses” jazz with something else. in this case, it fuses jazz with shmaltz rather than rock.
functionally speaking, however, it’s the new muzak, as your bathroom tale suggests.
Here’s an example of what was playing, or stuff that sounded like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjtIZNBzwRc
It’s a guy named Dave Koz. The one thing all this music had in common was that it sounded like Chuck Mangione’s “Feels So Good” – but without any redeeming qualities/distinctive hooks and melodies.
I don’t know. For a while trip-hop (or whatever they’re calling it these days) was the new Muzak. Pretty soon, indie rock will be the new Muzak. It’s coming, people. You know it.
I got no kick against modern jazz…actually I do. It’s just too bland and technical for my rockin’ tastes. Sure, they’re great musicians, but play a wrong note or something out of tune once in a while. Give me a good old D chord on the electric guitar. And kick the overdrive and make it sound nasty.
Since, I ‘m song quoting (badly), I’ll step in here to amend my Macca Muzak Moments: “The sound you make is Muzak to my ears.”
TB
Oats, I’m with ya.
All the kinds of music you name can function as muzak.
Indie rock? I recall complaining, on the old listserv, around 2003, that Indie rock was sounding more and more like adult contemporary rock every day. It was pissing me off at the time, because I had been duped into buying an album featuring a picture of some wiry looking over-slopped hipsters sitting on the beach. they had a good band name, too, one that suggested they would RAWK. But dude, this could not have sounded more like some air-biscuit “Lost in Love” GAR-bage. Not, muzak, mind you, but very…”old person” sounding. Ick.
Currently, smooth jazz most frequently takes the place that music held in our public and semipublic spaces.
But I think you’re right: it’s only a matter of time before we’re waiting in an elevator, and on comes Belle and Sebastian. Why not? My mother likes them.
Uhhh….yeah.
that should say “Currently, smooth jazz most frequently takes the place that MUZAK held in our public and semipublic spaces.”
You knew that, right?
Yeah, I’m gonna say that fusion mixed the worst of jazz with the worst of rock, while smooth jazz mixes the worst of jazz with the worst of modern R&B or funk.