In a recent thread, a veteran Townsman warned a new Townsman to steel himself, as follows:
watch it: plurb’s got a man crush on you. i don’t envy you the day you post an opinion he disagrees with…it’ll be diva time.
This warning was in reference to the growing appreciation and interest Townsman Epluribusgergely has developed in response to the expressed tastes by a relatively new Townsman, who will remain nameless. The “man crush” referred to is a particular kind seen around these parts: the Rock Man Crush. Usually a budding Rock Man crush is a wonderful thing to see blossom in the Halls of Rock. Mix CDs are burned, joint campaigns are launched to promote an obscure album, sometimes even face-to-face meetings are scheduled. In the case of the Rock Man Crushes involving our friend Epluribus, who’s become known as the Warren Beatty of love-em-and-leave-em Rock Man Crushes, there is a sense of dread. Let me explain the warnings of our veteran Townsman.
You’ve probably been on both ends of the Rock Man Crush. You spot a cool record in a new acquaintances collection – or he (or she) spies a cool record in yours – and in short time you’re hungry for some rock nerd bonding.
“Oh, you know that album too? I love that album!”
“Sure. You know that album? None of my friends like this album.”
In due time, two rock nerds are sitting cross legged around a stack of records and love is in the air!
It’s not unusual that the new rock crush eventually runs out of gas and the two rock nerds move on, thankful for their time of bonding and additions to their respective music collections. There are some among us, however, who fall more deeply than others, and the first time an undesired album comes between the new friends, the most-smitten friend feels betrayed and lashes out at the other. This describes the cycle we’ve seen – and in many cases felt – at the hands of Epluribus. It can get ugly. One day you’re best buds, the next day your manhood is called into question in front of all the super-cool rock nerds who gather here.
Here’s what I have in mind as a way of healing past rifts and perhaps helping Gergs to tread more gently in his Rock Man Crushes, to find a way to allow them to end more gracefully: If you’ve been through the ups and downs of a Rock Man Crush with Epluribus, please share with us the highs and lows, the joyous beginning and painful ending of this crush. I ask you to do to help our friend recall what was really important in each of these crushes, to appreciate the good times.
If you have another Rock Man Crush to share, one not involving Epluribus but that you find might be helpful, please share your experiences. Thank you.
You guys are too much. I love it. Cracking me up! Gergs just wants someone to communicate about records with;) That’s all.
i think that part of the problem with plurbis is that his appetite is insatiable. i mean, i was a little uncomfortable with the prospect of being driven home by him because of…you know…our HISTORY. and of course, he starts HITTING on me on the way home, and at first i’m all like OMG, LOL! But then it doesn’t stop! What a slut!
seriously, though, i think it was sonic youth that got between plurbis and i. then, a few months later, i did the unthinkable; i agreed with chalfen about those great soul asylum shows at dobbs ca. ’86. the rest is cyber hissy fit history.
by the way, plurbis, the youtube at the top of this thread is pretty bitchin’, huh?
sez me: we may laugh at the warren beatty persona all we like, but at its core, “shampoo” is a great movie…a 20th century tragedy.
I think the first thing that came between Epluribus and myself was a batch of recordings we did after bumping Andy up to the “front office.” I think he fist fell for me through our own band’s music, and how seet those first 6 months were! Little did he know, however, the band was going through them changes, and once the changes got underway, he was not pleased one bit. At first he tried to avoid the subject, but finally he told me how he really felt. He wasn’t alone, and in retrospect, I can understand completely. We recovered gracefully, but then things got really intense when the two of us started a band!
How I cherish those first rehearsals, when Autumn Carousel was a trio. The three of us, Epluribus, Michael Honeydew-Mellon, and I, couldn’t be more under the spell of a 3-way rock crush. Slowly, we added other men to the band, until we had a full-blown rock crush orgy in bloom. ALl along, however, the first cracks were showing. Gergs was uncomfortable, you know, doing it, in front of the other two guys. They were cramping his style, throwing records on the turntable that didn’t fit with his vision.
After a year or so, it got real intense, as the 5-way rock man crush started reconfiguring itself into little pairings, this pair competing with that pair, a trio merging one day and another trio forming the next. We got pulled in all different directions until, finally, it came down to a showdown between me and Plurbie. The Rock Man Crush Rights to my childhood buddy, Honeydew-Mellon, were in dispute, and for the next year it put a serious damper on the Rock Man Crush that Plurbs and I shared. He lashed out at me at every given opportunity. He and his new buddy wrote songs exposing me as the dick I suddenly was. He shot me angry glares when I least expected it. Once, in the middle of a fun, casual dinner party with our families, he looked across the table at me and subtly gave me the finger. Right in front of our children!
In due time, we patched things up, only to get pissy with each other numerous times over. There can come a point – and I hope Plurbs reads this – when the dynamic of the Rock Man Crush strengthens and can withstand these occasional bumps in the road. Just like a good marriage needs to be able to ride the waves, so does a long-term Rock Man Crush. I know you can do it, my friend!
mod wrote: “I think he fist fell for me “.
I write: my the fun you two must have had.
no. i write: stop it, you’re scaring me.
no, no…i write: not that there’s anything wrong with that…
no, wait wait! i write; heloooo. TMI!
Oh man, now my orange juice has spurted from my nose, and it burns (actually it’s Diet Coke, but you can’t tell people you hardly know you drink Diet Coke for breakfast and eat whatever is on top of the stove from last night – shrivelly hot dog, no bun!).
I may have to work on my “A” game. If there’s a possibility of a menage-a-five or more in my future, I may need to work on my stamina.
The wound still feels fresh.
More than 20 years ago now, college, I met these guys who were in a band. They turned me on to lots of shit that I had not yet encountered in my very poor rock education: The Stooges, Sex Pistols, Clash, etc. Stuff that really brought the noise, and had a biting political edge too. I bought it, wholesale. Thing was, these guys’ band was hard-rocking too. They could blow people offstage sometimes.
But I remember the day. These guys would sometimes play, you know, the Monkees. I thought it was a goof. But then no, it came home to me, it wasn’t. Most of them sooner or later claimed to genuinely like the Monkees. In fact, they seemed to feel that their band would be better if they stopped rocking quite so hard, if they added more (lord forgive them) tight pop arrangements. They thought their band needed to be more like the Monkees. I didn’t understand. How could they do this to me? At first I was dumbfounded. Then I pleaded with them to change. I got drunk, called them on the carpet, told them everything that was false about the direction they were heading. But it was no use. The damage was done.
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it.
Cut to long after I thought I was over it. Years later, on a discussion list, one of these guys would actually claim that the Monkees were better (wait for it, o my god) than the Byrds. And I felt, all over again, all the hurt.
I can barely speak about it even now. I just listen to John Coltrane and drink too much, remembering what might have been.
I don’t know what you guys are on about here. Plurbie and I are still tight. He just, you know, gets stressed out sometimes, and has to blow off steam. Deep down, he’s a good man, and I know he wants to do the right thing. Is it wrong for me to want to help?
(…)
… what, this? A black eye? No, no — I ran into a door this morning. I can be so clumsy sometimes.
“Fists” down award for greatest thread ever!!;) You also wrote “seet” instead of “sweet”, but we really knew your intentions were “sweet romance” mr. mod!
Plurbie’s got some ‘splainin’ to do! somehow, i doubt you “ran” into that door Hrrundi! The first signs of trouble! What you need is a safe haven, like your studio, or say… a record shoppe!
Hey Sally Gal,
I got your card today! You’ve always got something nice to say. It’s a rare quality that I’ve unfortunately never had.
By the way, it was indeed great to hang out with the gang down at Cherry St. Tavern. Robbie continues to have bad taste in spades, but I’ve gotta give credit where credit is due. He was an especially funny host for the evening.
It was also a real treat meeting BigSteve. Nice guy with some great stories. Hope you decided to visit us a little more often.
Hey 2000man! Everyone put their two cents in regarding your appearance on Rock Town Hall. All agreed that you’re the best thing that’s happened on the site besides the Moderator getting his teeth knocked out for dissing the Lennon songs on Rubber Soul. Everyone really enjoyed your jab at Hrundi, the thing about the thong. You need to do that more often.
Sincerely,
E. Pluribus
P.S. Oats, I’m waiting for my gift!
Hey Plurb,
good to hear – I’m all about the sugar & spice! I was wondering how fast those would get to you. Good stuff! Got to run to work now, but I look forward to more cool and amusing posts when I get home tonight – I know you won’t disappoint! Another show – this time, Sugar Town @ Tritone! Ismine, lemme know when you’re ready to come out from under that dissertation! On July 4th Khyber is serving free vodka drinks between 9 and 10pm, and Hall & Oats are playing that night! Woah!
Yo E.
Pencil me in for a man-date!
I’m fresh to these hallowed halls!
SK
You got it, but the one thing I won’t tolerate is any dissing whatsoever of the Stones’ first LP “England’s Newest Hitmakers”.
That’s all I ask,
E. Pluribus
wouldn’t dream of it