Caution: Entrants inside my mind might experience some of the effects illustrated in the above video.
While listening to some early tracks by a favorite band on the ride into work this morning, a number of rhetorical – for me – questions popped into my head. Rather than use this experience as an opportunity for me to get on my soapbox and rant and rave over these thoughts, I thought I’d share the questions – perhaps not so rhetorical, in this case – with you and allow you the chance to get inside my head. I look forward to your answers.
What three types of music that I love (two bands and one entire genre) suck on CD?
Who is the worst lead guitarist, technically speaking, that’s ever been featured in a successful, major-label band?
What’s the best uttered curse word in a particular Clash song?
What middle eighth of a Clash song has a set of lyrics so bad I would approve of having them digitally removed?
Of all the covers that appear on Clash records, which is the only song that I prefer in its original form?
What name-checking Joe Strummer-sung Clash song is the “one toke over the line” in terms of my tolerance for such songs?
Even with the finest uttered curse word in any Clash song, what’s the one thing that keeps me hanging on through what I find to be a relatively boring “Jail Guitar Doors”?
Excluding the obvious choice of Topper, the addition of which Clash member would have most benefitted The Jam?
the dead
stinking lizavetta
70’s country(waylon, willie, and the boys)
neil young
?
clash songs don’t have middle 8s”
pressure drop
shareef dont like it “rock the casbah”
i dont know what jail guitar doors are
the jam stink
I’ve been trying to get into The Mod’s head, and it’s been none too pleasant. I’m going to try a few:
I’m going to guess jazz for the genre and Sonic Youth for the band, but those are just wild guesses.
Since this post is Clash-inspired, I’m going to guess Mick Jones as worst lead guitarist.
I don’t know about the curses, and I’ve never divided a Clash song into eighths.
Pressure Drop is the obvious original that’s better than the Clash version, but I know The Mod is not a big reggae fan, so I’ll guess Police on my Back.
I don’t have Jail Guitar Doors here at work. Does it end with the sound of the door slamming, or am I thinking of some other song?
I think Paul Simonon would have been a good replacement for Bruce Foxton on hairworthiness alone.
Now let me outta here!
Let’s see how well I know my oldest friend:
2 bands – Clash/Jam
Genre – Pub Rock
Guitarist – Elvis C
“Eff ’em” – Jail Guitar Doors
Middle 8th – Clash City Rockers
Original – I Fought The Law
You like the guitar buildup towards the end – with the real bendy/out of tune leads
Bruce Thomas
I’ll only confirm a few RIGHT answers, so far. Those of you who have not yet crept inside my head are missing a good time.
As for three types of music that suck on CD, my oldest friend, andyr guessed correctly on one of the bands, The (early) Clash. The other band and entire genre is still up for grabs.
BigSteve astutely picked up on the Clash theme and correctly identified Mick Jones as the (technically) worst lead guitarist in a major-label band that had experienced a high degree of success.
andyr also got the “fuck ’em” in “Jail Guitar Doors” right.
shawnkilroy correctly identified “Pressure Drop” as the only Clash cover that fails to top the original.
andyr also knew that the only thing I really find worthwhile in “Jail Guitar Doors” is the pinky rock chunkdown followed by Forearm Rock and out-of-tune, badly bent guitar leads.
Who’s going to dig deeper and answer the rest of my questions?
I’m gonna guess that one of the bands is The Rolling Stones due to the fact that you brought your vinyl copy of Exile on Main Street to the RTH meet-up a few years back. For the record, if this is the case, I completely agree. That record sounds way better on vinyl.
I’m gonna guess “Overpowered by Funk” because of its references to everyone and everything from Benny Goodman to trial by jury. This could also be my contender for the Clash middle-eight question because of Futura 2000’s rap part (which I actually really like).
Well since it’s apparently not Paul Simonon nor any of Mick Jones’ replacements after he left, it would have to be Mick Jones, right? I’m just using the process of elimination here, despite what you said before about his guitar-playing ability.
Yes! The Rolling Stones are the other band I had in mind. Now all that’s left is the genre that sucks on CD. Nice work, my man.
“Overpowered by Funk” is an excellent choice…but incorrect. You’re on the right path, just an album further down the road.
And yes, it’s Mick Jones would would have most benefitted The Jam for three reasons: 1) he had a good understanding of Motown and other dance rhythms; 2) unlike Weller, he not only loved and understood this sort of music but he could live it in his music – he didn’t have a righteous 4 x 4 of TRUTH stuck up his butt; and 3) he could better put into practice his “artsy” side than Weller ever could. Weller’s attempts at pushing the sound of The Jam typically were as heavy-handed as could be expected. Jones had a lighter tough. This ties back to the righteous 4 x 4 of TRUTH. Weller so badly needed someone in that band who could crack a smile, talk up a “bird,” what have you. Mick Jones would have made The Jam a world class band.
Well they only made one album after Combat Rock and I don’t consider it a real Clash album anyway. I’ve never listened to it more than once and if you have, you’re a braver man than I am, Mr. Mod. Thus, I have no clue except to guess “This is England”.
I agree with some of what you’re saying here, but I think that righteous 4×4 of TRUTH (great terminology, BTW) was part of what The Jam great, at least between 1978 and 1980. I agree that their appeal lessened when they tried to experiment with Motown, funk and what not. You also have to remember that they weren’t that great of a punk band, either, at least IMO.
No, I meant that the offending name-checking song is one album earlier. YOU were an album past what I had in mind.
As for The Jam, the two of us probably agree on their strongest, middle period, knowing full well the weaknesses of their earlier and later periods.
I’m gonna say “Washington Bullets,” just because Joe doesn’t sing “Hitsville UK.”
And it better not be “Hitsville UK” anyway, because “Hitsville UK” fuckin’ roolz.
You know what else fuckin’ roolz? Seeing one of your top 5 favorite comedians, someone you never thought you’d be able to see live, like, ever, in the back room of an Irish pub in Somerville, because you happened to see in an abandoned copy of the Metro that he was in town tonight.
Man, I LOVE “Washington Bullets”! It’s one of my favorites on Sandinista. Same goes for “Hitsville UK”. Innnnncorrrrect!
A couple more guesses for you lot before I have to come clean on the following:
1) Entire genre that sucks on CD (HINT: it’s roughly a label-based/regional-based genre to which I refer).
2) Worst lyrics in a Clash middle eighth (HINT: Not necessarily an album track).
3) Name-checking song from Sandinista sung by Strummer that, for me, is one toke over the line.
Great One, tell us about this experience seeing Kevin Meaney!
1) Stax?
1) Fuck, no, Motown!
Second time’s a charm, Rick: Motown it is! That stuff needs to be heard on vinyl. Somehow, CD reissues of Stax stuff doesn’t bug me a bit.
Who was it, out of curiousity?
I still have no clue about the one with the supposedly terrible middle-eighth, but I’m gonna take a guess at this one. Is it “The Magnificent Seven”? It goes on for over 5 minutes and has all sorts of references (Socrates, Nixon, Engels, Marx, MLK, Gandhi, etc.), so I could see how it could annoy you.
Great guesses, Townsman Berlyant. I’m gonna flip the cards over, What’s My Line style. “The Magnificent Seven” is one toke before the line. “Lightning Strikes (Not Once But Twice)” bugs the crap out of me. It’s the beginning of the end in terms of Strummer the NYC-Informed Street Poet.
The horrible lyrics in a middle eighth award goes to “Cheat”…it pains me to cut and pase these:
DON’T USE THE RULES
THEY’RE NOT FOR YOU, THEY’RE FOR THE FOOLS
AND YOU’RE A FOOL IF YOU DON’T KNOW THAT
SO USE THE RULE YOU STUPID FOOL
Carrot Top still plays clubs?
What a stupid fool you are for not liking the middle eight to “Cheat”!
BigSteve wonders:
Carrot Top still plays clubs?
I reply:
I think he was referring to Yakoff Smirnoff.
Is Yakoff Smirnoff related to Yorgi?
Nyuk nyuk nyuk. You’re all goddamn comedy geniuses, you are.
It was in fact an Irish guy named Ed Byrne:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGXvVgR0cdY
Thanks Mr. Mod, though I really should’ve gotten this one since you’ve voiced your distaste for “Lightning Strikes” (Not Once But Twice) before. Personally, I like it, but I always wondered what was up with the intro sample (the caller to that radio station and the DJ’s response). Any ideas? I have a feeling they were several tokes over the line when they recorded that one.
Ouch, those are awful, but technically “Cheat” IS an album track (you said “not necessarily an album track” the other day, so I guess I can let this slide) since it was on the original UK version of their 1st album. With that said, I’ve never cared for it that much, though I really like “48 Hours” and “Deny” is pretty cool, too, of the songs they left off for the U.S. version. Maybe this could be the start of a new thread? What’s your favorite UK (or other non-U.S.) only tracks, but with a twist. I don’t want another Beatles or Stones thread, so I’ll limit it from the late ’70s (when this sort of thing happened all the time) to now. My vote goes for either “48 Hours” or “Night Rally”.