All right, Townspeople, fresh off the high of our First Annual Super Bowl Halftime Show Commentary, we would like to announce, in our role as industry watchdog, Rock Town Hall’s First Annual GRAMMY Bash, kicking off on Friday, February 9, and running through Monday, February 12.
You may have heard about the GRAMMY Awards. Chances are, if you’re a visitor to the Halls of Rock, you don’t give a damn. In fact, you so don’t give a damn that that vein in your forehead bulges out whenever people in the office ask you – Big Music Fan they know you are – who you think’s going to win a GRAMMY. Who are you kidding? We suspect you’re incapable of completely shutting this inherently horrendous event out of your mind. If you were that kind of well-adjusted person, you wouldn’t be checking in here.
No pain, no gain, they say, and if there’s one thing both the GRAMMY Awards and Rock Town Hall promise it’s pain. The pain of too wide a swath of genres for even the “I like all kinds of music!” fraud to appreciate. The pain of Jethro Tull winning an award in the Heavy Metal category long after we knew this unlikely folk-rock-prog band any longer existed. The pain of seeing Elvis Costello & the Attractions lose out to A Taste of Honey for Best New Artist. Pain.
This Friday we’ll begin rolling out in-depth GRAMMY coverage, but little of the stuff you have no business caring about. Again, let’s be real. For example, this press release is the sort of hook we would never stoop to cover. Come on, Recording Academy, stop sending us this stuff!
Look for historical overviews, keys, trends, prognostications, analyses, fashion, and a treasure hunt. The night of the big event, we’ll encourage you to log into Rock Town Hall for Live Commentary. We’ll probably take it through the night and into next Monday morning. Until then, bone up on your nominees, your historic moments, and your moments!
Chris Brown and Shakira have been added to the performers’ bill. Shakira’s intriguing, and Chris Brown will vie with Gnarls Barkley for “breakout performance that will take him/them to the next level”. It remains to be seen whether the fact that Brown will be in a three-way with Lionel Richie and Smokey Robinson will elevate him or weigh him down. But this is exciting news. You heard it here (approximately) first: Chris Brown is the real deal.