Apr 142009
 

WTF?!?! Taking hair out of the rock equation.

Then, sometime in the latter half of the ’90s, rock dudes ceased washing their hair and attempting to get distinctive haircuts. Was it the influence of the Flowbee? Did rockers begin asking their roommates to cut their hair–or did they watch one too many movies in which the main character quickly gives him- or herself a stylish haircut in front of a hotel’s bathroom mirror for purposes of disguise? It’s not as easy as it looks in the movies; trust me. Perhaps this explains why indie musicians like Elliott Smith were often seen wearing a wool cap indoors: for shame of a self-butchered haircut!

Today there’s that Emo hairdo, with long, dark locks plastered over the forehead, but I still see a lot of rockers who look like they had a run-in with a Flowbee – or look like they forgot to wash the conditioner out of their hair. Or just give up altogether and keep the ski cap on winter, spring, summer, and fall. What gives? How would you describe the modern-day rock hairdo, if there even is one? There’s a lot an old fart like myself has been known to stress out over (eg, how can rock survive without cool bass and drum arrangements), but let’s be real: how much longer can rock survive without a commitment to hair styles?

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  11 Responses to “How Would You Describe Modern-Day Rock Hairdos?”

  1. pudman13

    I would describe them as what your hair looks like when you don’t wash it for three days.

  2. BigSteve

    It’s the scourge of living in the post-everything era. I saw some teen heart-throb guest-hosting on SNL this past week, and he had that emo hair. At least that was a new Look when it was happening, but if Disney is marketing it now I guess it’s over.

    If you’re a young rocker you don’t have many options, because you have too many options. If you struggle to be original you might end up like that dude in Death Cab for Cutie with the little curlicues in front. And if you go with something traditional, like a Beatles cut or a quiff, you run the risk of sending the wrong signal about your music.

    This is the advantage of the buzzcut, because it takes you out of the game.

  3. Mr. Moderator

    Damn, BigSteve, that’s the answer I was afraid we’d have to arrive at. The post-everything era is a bitch!

  4. hrrundivbakshi

    I dunno, Mod — I think there’s as much ‘do variety as ever there was, with the possible exception of the British Invasion-era 60’s, when I’m sure you would’ve been complaining because *everybody* sported the same coiffure.

    Of course, there are sub-genres of rock and roll that have their own trademark hair configurations: the southern rock Modified Mullet; the metal traditionalist Samson; and the we’re-too-cool/poor-for-a-hairstyle Underground Knit Cap effect. But there *is* a hairdo that most radio-friendly alterna-rockers seem to sport — at least to some degree. This ‘do varies from individual to individual, but seems to include some basic coiffure componentry:

    1. A general flatness. Hair that sticks to one’s pate from all angles seems to be the way to go.

    2. A brushed-forwards-ness. Comparing and contrasting with the ducktail of the 50s suggests key differences between the two rock eras: the slicked-back, facing the wind, forward-looking 50s, when rock and roll was all attitude, rebellion and possibility; and the withdrawn, back-to-the-wind oughts, where today’s rocker wants you to know he’s huddled against the cold, with little but his thoughts and shattered dreams for company.

    3. A general misshapen-ness — like the hair is *meant* to look like a visitation from a fashion magazine, caring little for how it frames the actual head of the artist. One’s hair comes *first*, as the intrinsic value of the holistic humanoid individual is subsumed by the 21st-century interconnected style-hive.

    These are just a few thoughts — but I thank you for bringing this important issue to the fore. You’re doing good work; keep it up.

    HVB

  5. 2000 Man

    HVB, if the hair comes first then do you eventually have to change your face to get a good look? That’s gonna hurt.

  6. real rock star hair or “Hot Topic” rock star hair (mall rockers)

  7. the “Rod Stewart” is timeless and underused.

  8. Mr. Moderator

    You’ve got good hair for a modern-day rocker, Shawnkilroy. Are you willing to do your part to lead your brethern into a new age of stylish hair care?

  9. Thanks Mr Moderator, I am.
    I just gave myself a good haircut a few days ago.
    It’s quite uneven in parts, but not quite like a mental patient, or Keaneu Reeves in the movie, I Love You to Death.

  10. Mr. Moderator

    Nice I Love You to Death reference, SK!

  11. What’s with all the damn beards, lately?

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