Greetings! With this post, we inaugurate a new series of fun and games here at RTH, entitled “If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…” — as in “if you can’t say anything nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.” You know, like your Moms taught you when you were a kid. The principle here is similar: RTH posts a song or video or image for you to consider. Then — if you can — it’s your job to say something nice about what you’ve witnessed. The most convincingly “nice” set of observations wins a coveted RTH No-Prize.
Today, we’re inaugurating the series with a fascinating performance by Deep Purple (but mainly Ritchie Blackmore) at California Jam, in 1974. Have a look, and let us all know what you think. But remember: if you can’t say anything nice…
I look forward to your responses.
HVB
I’m a huge fan of his guitar work on “Hush”. Tasty!
Ritchie Blackmore invented skronk!
I really like that BBC Video logo at the end.
“Man on The Silver Mountain” is the best song ever about a man on a silver mountain. Hands down.
Actually, an admission: I’m a big fan, if a slightly tongue and cheek one, of early Rainbow.
After the kid in the front row woke up in the hospital with a concussion, he was probably really happy with his newly acquired slightly beat up Blackmore Marshall amp.
Hey, Dr. John — forget “slightly beat up”! That amp was “previously blown up in a fireball of cheezy pyrotechnics”!
Thanks to all the Townsmen coming forth with candid admissions about their Blackmore Love. I should have been clear, however: your task is to find something nice to say about *this* performance. So far, elbow patch-wearing Dr. John is in the lead!
That was the most gentle trashing of multiple guitars and an amp that I’ve ever seen. I love his little toe-tapping routine at about the 4:07 mark. The whole thing was more like a classy striptease than some animal act of staged aggression. Well done, Ritchie!
I have no shame in admitting I am a fan of pre-Coverdale Deep Purple.
This of course is post that. Dancing With Guitars starring host Blackmore is perfected (3:48-4:15). Love that last move with finger in air.
hmmm…something nice, eh?
it’s almost like magic how new strats appear in his hands for him to smash.
cool!
Upon further review, I also enjoy the sequence from 1:10 to 1:40, where he uses the guitar to scratch a huge itch on his leg, then begins assaulting the camera. After taking four shots from the guitar, the cameraman unlocks his rig and CHARGES on the fifth blow, scaring him off.
It’s to Ritchie Blackmore’s credit that he clearly recruited the most badass film crews out there, and his performances inspired them not to take any shit. I bet you won’t see anything like that with Scorsese’s crew in that Rolling Stones doc.
Wow, after enduring Slokie’s general grumpiness this morning, I’m pleased to discover just how NICE everybody on this list is. I’m tempted to just give *everybody* a No-Prize. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I like Ritchie’s persistence in attempting to guide his roadies backstage to do… *something*. That index-finger-in-the-air gesture — which he makes, very purposefully, every minute or two, seems to accomplish absolutely nothing. But Ritchie is determined to get the best possible backstage support for his display of auto-destructive wankery! If those idiots hiding behind his amps can’t take a cue properly, he’ll just have to everything himself! Thank you Ritchie! I appreciate your perfectionism!
I really like how the band keeps it together while Ritchie does his stuff. Excellent teamwork and sportsmanship
Also, I keep on thinking the Ritchie is going to suplex one of the guitars or call for some sort of other wrasslin finishing moves
Andyr sez:
I really like how the band keeps it together while Ritchie does his stuff. Excellent teamwork and sportsmanship
I say:
Now THAT’s funny — and nice! Top that for good humor and nice-ness, RTH!
Um…much later, Ritchie Blackmore would do quite well for himself by marrying a sweet piece of goth-chick ass nearly as fine as Mrs. Kucinich. How’s that?
1) Well, you can’t blame Blackmore for this hissy fit. Round bologna and square bread? Disaster!
2) Man, those fire-extinguisher guys were ON IT!
I just read on the InterWeb that this show was broadcast *live* on ABC TV in 1974. So that’s a network camera Ritchie is attacking!
What’s more, the InterWeb says some of those finger-wags are Ritchie telling his roadies to douse his amps with gasoline. This all begins to make a bit more sense now. Roll secret backstage camera footage:
Roadie 1: Hey, Roadie 2 — Ritchie wants you, I think. Waitaminnit, Ritchie is shouting something — huh? What?
Ritchie Blackmore: (pointing) The petrol!
Roadie 2: What? A cable? Yo, Roadie 1 — RB needs another cable. he musta lost his when he dropped his guitar off the stage.
RB: (pointing again) I don’t want a fucking cable! Where’s that fucking PETROL?
Roadie 1 and 2, in unison: WE ALREADY GAVE YOU A CABLE!
RB (behind amps now): WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? The amps are supposed to burst into flames when I point at them. They can’t bloody well burst into flames without petrol being poured on them, can they?!
R1: Ohhhhh… *pet*-rol! (to R2) He means gasoline.
R2: Oh… what do you need gas for?
RB: To pour on the amps, you great bloody pillock!
R1: Oh… yeah… right, RB. We’ll take care of it. Here’s another guitar.
RB: Look, it’s simple: when I point, you pour on the petrol! When I point a second time, you light it. Okay? You like your job? Do it!
(Two minute shoe/guitar symphony, interspersed with guitar leg massage)
RB: (Points) PETROL!
R1: I dunno about you, Roadie #2, but I”m not pouring any gasoline on this amp. It’s fucking red hot, man! It’ll explode!
RB: (points) LIGHT IT!
R2: (feigning ignorance) Light WHAT?
RB smashes guitar #2 in frustration, storms back behind the amps, cockpunches roadies one and two, grabs gasoline and pours it on the red hot amps. Halfway back to the stage, the amps, as predicted, explode before they can be set alight. Roadies one and two make a bee line for the dressing room to steal as many sandwiches and beers as they can before heading for the parking lot to try and get laid. The show continues…
Is the rainbow backdrop explained? This was still Deep Purple, right? Was the rainbow a coincidence, or was Blackmore already looking toward his next band?
Such thinking as Blackmore’s is what made the Great White inferno inevitable.
Now, now, Dr. John… that wasn’t nice!