I just knew this sexy title was going to attract you to today’s Last Man Standing. I was listening to Lou Reed’s “Street Hassle” when the following line jumped out at me – but not for the obvious reason:
“She creamed in her jeans as he picked up her knees from off of the Formica top bar.”
It was the mere mention of Formica, that once-prevalent countertop material of my youth, that got me thinking about songs that refer to uniquely 20th century, post-WWII home goods made of industrial-fabricated-composite materials. I wish I could describe this better: it’s home goods stuff made out of fake materials. Not cars, not surfboards, not jet airliners (Happy birthday, Steve Miller!), but artificial, industrial-made home products that were distinctive of post-WWII American (and European, I suppose) homes: particular types of furniture materials come to mind, home construction materials (but not wood, for instance), wonder cleansers, you name it. There’s one rule (at least for starters): state the home goods material referred to along with the song title. I’ve given you Lou Reed’s “Street Hassle” and the reference to Formica.
The following clip is a hint at another song fitting this Last Man Standing game.
Now bring it on, Smartypants!
“Get crazy with the Cheez Whiz!”
–Beck, “Loser”
Hand over the fucking belt.
“Warm Leatherette,
Feel the crushing steel,
Feel the steering wheel.”
Grace Jones – Warm Leatherette
“Shake it like a Polaroid picture”
Outkast – Hey Ya
Good ones. There’s a reference to Naugahide (sp?) in X’s “We’re Desperate” that came to mind. Unlike you lot, I stink at direct quotes, but nevertheless…HAND OVER THE BELT!
“I want to play XBox on your floor”
–Liz Phair, “Rock Me”
“I’m the master blaster, drinkin up the Shasta”
Beastie Boys, “Shadrach”
X-Ray Specs “Plastic Bag”
….and how ’bout some lyrics:
“My mind is like a plastic bag
That corresponds to all those ads
It sucks up all the rubbish
That is fed in through by ear
I eat Kleenex for breakfast
And use soft hygienic Weetabix
To dry my tears”
X-Ray Specs – “Plastic Bag”
I figured there must be a song that mentions velveteen, but all I can come up with is Lenny Kravitz’s Black Velveteen, which I’ve never heard.
For the purposes of this competition, we will accept Black Velveteen, BigSteve. What’s your waist size?
Or will someone else NOT GO DOWN?
By the way, Dr. John’s XBox nomination is not accepted. I don’t think we can accept toys as “home goods,” and likewise, we’re looking for a higher degree of uniqueness and artificiality of industrial materials used to make these home goods products. For instance, a simple old telephone will not do, but Elvis Costello’s “bakelite” telephone that he holds in his hands in “No Action” will.
Play on!
Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit?
What is the uniquely artificial 20th century home good in the Nirvana song? I can’t undertand what he’s going on about in that song.
The Cheez Whiz gracefully withdraws for the Polaroid picture. Frankly, I don’t think anybody’s gonna beat that one.
Teen Spirit was (is?) a deodorant.
“There’ll be spandex jackets, one for everyone.”
-Donald Fagen, I.G.Y.
(Spandex, 1959)
“Forever in acrylic afternoons, I want to hold you tight whilst children play outside and wait for their mothers to finish with lovers and call them inside for their tea.”
-Pulp, Acrylic Afternoons
(Acrylic paints, introduced in the 1950s)
ZZ Top, Velcro Fly
Zappa’s Latex Solar Beef mentions both latex and naugahyde.
Speaking of latex, there’s an instrumental track by The Damned called Trojans.
BigSteve is ON FIRE! You gonna let him parade around unchallenged?
And I haven’t even mentioned Billy Joel’s The Nylon Curtain (because I think it’s just an album title, not a song). There must be other songs that mention nylons.
Ok, got one. Elvis Costello’s Chemistry Class:
Sparks are flying from electrical pylons
Snakes and ladders running up and down her nylons
When he comes up with one that beats “Shake it like a Polaroid picture,” I’ll pay attention, but so far he hasn’t.
Dupont did not not feel the need to issue a press release that said the application of snakes to nylons was contraindicated when ARMED FORCES came out.
I believe the rules of Last Man Standing reward quantity rather than quality.
Joni Mitchell’s London Bridge Song:
London bridge is falling up
Save the tea leaves in my cup
Guess the cup is cracking up
My fair lady-o
(I’ll have to get a pyrex one)
I’m obviously not going for quality there. It’s apparently a very early Joni song. I was just trying to find a song with pyrex in it. Googling proves that it’s in a number of rap songs too.
And finally (I think) a sentimental favorite, one of the earliest Stiff singles (BUY 4), the Tyla Gang’s Styrofoam. Quoting from memory:
LA lady lives in a home
Made entirely of styrofoam
Styrofoam fireplace styrofoam logs
Styrofoam cats and styrofoam dogs
I just discovered that it’s going to be a bonus track on a deluxe re-release of Yachtless which is coming out week after next. I had no idea, but I’m stoked. I loved that album.
You go, BigSteve!
Meanwhile, The Great 48 says:
As BigSteve pointed out, Last Man Standing has a different aim than Battle Royale. Perhaps RTH Gamesmaster Hrrundi will step forth to clarify.
Speaking of nylon, The Kinks’ “Dedicated Follower of Fashion” refers to “nylon panties.”
“To the burning forests in the hills of astroturf”
Elvis Costello, The Other Side of Summer
(Astroturf, 1964)
Did you ever feel the blast
As the semtex bomb goes off
Which is from Blinded by Rainbows on The Stones’ Voodoo Lounge album. No one but Mick Jagger actually knew what the stuff was called. The song itself mostly blows. Then again, on Steel Wheels Mick uses the word “parvenu” in Blinded by Love. Parvenu may be the least rock n roll word ever used in a supposed rock n roll song.
Bakelite is pre-WWII. So is Polythene, alas.
And I haven’t seen her perfections for my
Plastic mylar
–Spoon, “Plastic Mylar”
Thanks for donning the Pince Nez on us, Trolleyvox – really. We need to be kept in check. You guys are smokin’. I need to put my thinking cap on later today.
hvb, i’m surprised you haven’t mentioned ZZ’s
“TV Dinners”.
Firstly, wasn’t “Warm Leatherette” originally by the Normal? Second, Tuxedo Moon’s “Holiday For Plywood, though likely in reference to a pre-war product, and an instrumental at that, deserves mention.
Saturn, I’m starting a whole new category of lyrics referring to completely organic, natural, fiber-based materials, and am therefore submitting ZZ Top’s “Woke Up With Wood.”
I suppose Mr. two hats didn’t mean Natalie or Lana. Back in the day, that would have been good.
Hey, I was really desperate for dumb tv a few weeks ago and VH1 of many had some rock and roll poker thing on with Dusty Hill. Did you see it? At a certain point he loses, and leaves the table to taunts of HowHowHowHow, to which he replies “I don’t know how. I don’t know how I lost,” as he holds his sadly shaking hirsute head. Very sharp and cool. He even tossed the “zz top” key chain in the pot. Ace Frehley naturally participated in this event. Sadly they did not give him enough make up.
When you say “post WWII” do you meant post the beginning of? or do you mean post following the end of? As some of these materials above were created and used for the war effort.
Take Styrofoam for example. (And I capitalize it as it is registered trademark of the Dow Coroporation). Stryrofoam was first adopted by the US Coast Guard in 1942 for use in a 6-man life raft.
If we are to accept “post” as meaning “after the beginning” of I would then like to submit Death Cab for Cuties “Stryofoam Plates”.
Which technically would be “polystyrene plates” unless they are a Dow Corporation product. But I digress.
I meant following the end of WWII. Now take down the site!
The other day 2k said:
I’ve been meaning to mention that this sounds like a ready-made thread.
BigSteve, we’ve taken your suggestion to The Main Stage! Thanks.