May 142010
Name a sexual act mentioned or described in the lyrics to a song.
Specific acts can only be named once. Variations in terminology do not count as additional opportunities to repeat a specific act. So, for instance, I’ll start off with bestiality in “Had It With You,” by Paul Westerberg (“Like Catherine the Great underneath a big horse, your sexual preference is me of course.”)
All other bestiality songs are now off the table.
And keep your kids away from Rock Town Hall today, will ya?
I don’t have an LMS entry but I ran across this list this morning and it seems relevant:
http://www.emandlo.com/2010/05/top-9-songs-about-bad-sex/
I’ll start at first base with “And Then He Kissed Me.”
“squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg”
Zeppelin, Traveling Riverside Blues.
All ball/cockhead squeezing songs are now off the table.
Nose job. Rolling Stones “Honky Tonk Women” ‘She blew my nose and then she blew my mind’
Anal sex, group sex, blowjobs.
Two Live Crew “We Want Some Pussy”
You see, me and my homies like to play this game
We call it Amtrak but some call it the train
We all would line up in a single-file line
And take our turns at waxing girls’ behinds
But every time it came to me, I was shit out of luck
Because I’d stick my dick in, and it would get stuck
The girls would say “Stop!” I’d say “I’m not!
That’s enough, I quit, ’cause y’all are bustin’ me out!”
I say, girls, don’t hide it, just divide it
And please don’t knock it until you’ve tried it
So to all of you bitches and all you hoes
Let’s have group sex and do the Rambo!
I’m the Peter Piper of the 1980’s
Got a long hard dick for all of the ladies
I don’t care if you got three babies
You can work the sitck in my Mercedes
If you wanna blow, just let me know
We can go backstage at the end of the show
I’ll look at you, and you will look at me
With my dick in my hands as you fall to your knees
You know what to do, ’cause I won’t say please
Just nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese!
“Babies” by Pulp is all about… let’s call it voyeur sex.
Well that was all right for a while
but soon I wanted more
I wanted to see as well as hear and so I
I hid inside her wardrobe
And she came home round four
and she was with some kid called David
From the garage up the road
I listened outside, I heard her
Alright
While I applaud your enthusiasm, bostonhistorian, please remember: one answer per post.
Lots of songs about going Number 3 but I’ll pick Pictures of Lily.
cdm wrote:
Did you make that term up? I have NEVER heard it before. I guess now is just the right time to teach it to my soon-to-be 13-year-old son.
I wish. It’ genius, right? I got it from a fellow Donut.
Heavy petting (which I deem separate from playing stickball): “Love At First Feel,” AC/DC
Cosplay/Domination: “… and if you’re tall and handsome and strong / you can wear the uniform and I can play along” from Real Men, Joe Jackson
wow! k.
good one!
i always felt awkward about liking that song.
great song, great Album!
The Au Pairs, “Come Again” manual stimulation of a female…
It’s your turn now /
But do you want to
I don’t know if you want to
It’s inhibiting / restricting / so confusing / now I’m losing count
can’t concentrate, it’s another way to take
Mustn’t think about it / Free and at ease
You’re not selfish / You’re trying hard to please me – please please me
Is your finger aching / I can feel you hesitating
Is your finger aching!?!
Yes, thank you / I got one
Yes, it was nice / Yes, we should go to sleep now
Yes, yes it was fine
we must, we must do it again sometime
we must – yes, but I’m tired
cum again, wot? – I need to etc etc
Shit, I forgot to put my cap in.
you make a dead man come
necrophelia
Golden Shower – Mentors. I’m sure it mentions other acts as do most of their “songs”
Is hrrundi hoarding all the Prince references? Doesn’t he sing about sex acts I’m not even aware exist?
Date rape: “Makin’ Love,” KISS
Red light, green light, don’t say “no”
I really want her
She says “Stop!”
Baby go, go, go!
Rather than I want to hold your hand,
I wanna swallow you whole
‘n I wanna lick you everywhere it’s pink
‘n everywhere you think
…
Well, now you may think I’m crazy but I want you to
Lick my decals off baby.
Captain Beefheart describing ?lingus.
Mod: your jab reminds me of the one glaring omission in your resume as our fair and open-minded moderator…
I’m still waiting,
HVB
Yes, I’ve been thinking about the need to get to that task, too, HVB. I think I’ve finally got KingEd back on track; now I can catch up on my own business.
Damn you, Maudlin! I was holding onto Cold Ethyl for necrophilia.
Submission – Lots to choose from but I’ll go with Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa:
“Eventually me ‘n’ a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
‘Long as I gets a little golden shower
Oh God I am the American dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream”
Sex with a transvestite. The Kinks “Lola”
Voyeurism: “Pussy Watchman,” Max Romeo.
As heard in RTH’s Thrifty Music series!
Whoops, voyeurism has been taken. Then I scale the heights of obviousness to reclaim my position as Last Man Standing with an ode to plain old vaginal intercourse:
“It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me,” Barry White
That Barry White title sounds more like severely premature ejaculation, hrrundi.
stautory rape…The Rolling Stones “Stray Cat Blues”
I can see that you’re fifteen years old
No I don’t want your I.D.
And I can see that you’re so far from home
But it’s no hanging matter
It’s no capital crime
Oh yeah, you’re a strange stray cat
Oh yeah, don’tcha scratch like that
Oh yeah, you’re a strange stray cat
I bet, bet your mama don’t know you scream like that
I bet your mother don’t know you can spit like that.
++++
You say you got a friend, that she’s wilder than you
Why don’t you bring her upstairs
If she’s so wild then she can join in too
It’s no hanging matter
It’s no capital crime
ermmm… “statutory” sheesh
Ménage à trois – Triad by the Byrds
Strange trans-gender wish fulfillment/empathy/something-or-other:
“If I Was Your Girlfriend,” Prince
Phone sex. The Village People “Sex Over the Phone”. To be honest, I had never heard of this song, but found it while looking up the lyrics to “In The Navy”.
Speaking of Max Romeo, “Wet Dream.”
Agoraphilia (fetish for sex in the outdoors or public places): “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road”, “Grass” by XTC, “Love in an Elevator” by Aerosmith. There are probably more.
I always figured “Grass” as a clever double entendre for sex al fresco and on dope.
masochism. The Crystals “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss”
Third base
meatloaf, paradise by the dashboard light.
I was going to use My Sharona for statutory rape. HVB beat me to the category. But worth a mention so I can share what she’s been up to these days: http://mysharona.com/
Oh. And Family Entertainment (Undertones)- incest
You know – that thing where you go over there stand on that chair – no all the lights – that’s right. The hat on thing. You know what I’m talkin’ about…don’tcha?
Akkk. You fellers don’t know what love is.
Cross dressing. Laid by James
“Dressed me up in women’s clothes; messed around with gender roles; dye my eyes and call me pretty”
Underage/leather boots fetish: “Sixteen” Iggy Pop.
OK, screw it. I never have the patience to parse out these contests. I would suggest that NIN’s “I Want to Fuck You Like an Animal” is not bestiality per se, but just fucking of a certain sort.
Moonlight Lovin’ (yes, with an apostrophe) by Isaac Hayes is a campaign to get your woman to do a threesome.
STDs, and other topics that aren’t quite “acts” are covered, so to speak, in abundance by Frank Zappa in juvenilia like “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?” Though he has that bit about a penguin in bondage… Certainly an act!
Hrrundie, didn’t you mention ZZ Tops Pearl Necklace song, or whatever the title is? Prince has to have a song to address the issue of “I Want to Identify My Gender and Orientation Unequivocally For More Than One Album At a Time.”
Oh, and the equestrian S/M fetishism from that song from Tull’s Songs From the Wood. “Pibroch (Cap In Hand)” wiki tells me.
I don’t know what this is called. I don’t wanna know.
https://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/index.php/thrifty-music-vol-20-2-i-summon-bostonhistorian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKeQpeDkoGc
Doesn’t Frank Zappa have a song called The Illinois Enema Bandit?
The Illinois Enema Bandit ! heard it on the news !
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois … he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin’ around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
We’ve already had autoeroticism taken off the table, but “Little Red Corvette” by Prince covers the considerably less common field of Auto Eroticism.
Alas, we ladies often have to sleep in the wet spot:
GBV:
“I met a non-dairy creamer
Exclusively laid out like a fruitcake
With a wet spot bigger than a Great Lake.”
I would have liked to have seen Bob Pollard enact this, but unfortunately, he was sucking the Bud instead.
Inappropriate fondling.
“Don’t touch me there…”
The Tubes