When you have this many people hamming it up and scatting on stage at once, there’s only one question: Who wins?
Is it the Woman Who Twirls across the stage incessantly? (Good god, did that woman ever need more attention from her parents while growing up.)
Is it George Benson, who proves he doesn’t need his guitar to find the melody?
Is it Bill Cosby, who pulls out every move in his book: the happy feet shuffle; the old man, slo-mo extended butt squat dance; the devilishly delighted Jello Pudding face; a bass solo…thankfully stopping just short of pulling out his member when Twirling Woman bends over and places her rump in front of him?
Is it a hard-rockin’ Rosa Parks, I believe, around the 1:15 mark?
Is it the hands-down favorite going into this “ham-off,” Al Jarreau?
Is it Diana Krall, who does everything in her power to resist elbowing Twirling Woman?
Is it Al and Tipper Gore, during the credits, for taking their handclaps to a new level?
I’m sure you’ll find other moments worth reliving. One thing I’d love to know is just how pissed Al Jarreau was when “The Cos” stole the camera’s focus with a comedy ham-jam just as Jarreau was sharpening his white man’s overbite for his turn in the spotlight?
Ya got me, but I enjoy this comment over on YouTube linked with the clip:
“So It’s Debbie Allen doing that sensational dancing Wow She is just so Hot
That is Style and Class”
Mmmhmm.
I don’t feel bad Jarreau at all. He’s the turd in the punchbowl of this scat-a-thon. I get more jazz out DJ Jeff than anything he’s ever put out. Jarreau = Billy Joel.
Where the hell was Lena Horne? This is an outrage!
Don’t laugh too much, folks. It won’t be many years before you see Billie Joe Armstrong, Chris Cornell, Matthew Sweet, Alanis Morrisette, Tori Amos, Dave Matthews, Jon Spencer, Scott Weiland, Courtney Love, Mike Patton, and others boppin’ and jivin’ on stage to “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and your kids will find the whole thing hokey and hilarious.
That is definitely Debbie Allen – sister of Phylicia “Claire Huxtable” Rashad – doing all the twirling. You may perhaps remember her best from Fame or choreographing all the interpretive dance numbers that nobody but the people dancing in them ever enjoy at various Academy Awards shows through the years.
If we’re talking who wins here, we have to acknowledge, as you did, that this is a straight-out ham off, that playing for dignity is a no-win move here (otherwise, it’d be Rashad, who stays in the back and remains pretty cool as a spectator in her crazy shoulder red dress/battle armor, or Nnenna Freelon, the lady in red next to Krall).
Which means that The Cos takes this. He knows he’s on stage with some megahams like Al Jarreau and Aretha Franklin, and that he’s gonna have to go all in.
But you know what really sets him off? Check the five second mark, when he starts to try to sing along with Aretha and realizes that his mic isn’t turned on. At about :08, he turns to the side – either to George Benson or a stagehand – to let them know that he knows they muted him, and then at :11, he turns back to the stage and starts doing the Cosby Strut in place and it is ON. Just a few seconds later (around :18) you can see his TV wife, grin frozen in place, bow her head, because she knows what’s coming: complete Huxacution for everyone else on stage.
To George Benson’s credit, I think he knows Cos is going to work after the mic incident and he plays things pretty straight as Cosby starts threading through the crowd behind him. Meanwhile, Nancy Wilson breaks out a move that I’m gonna go ahead and dub The Smelling Salts at :57, which I don’t think I’ve seen before or since, but puts her ahead of Benson for the match.
Cosby takes this time to do a Reverse Moonwalk across the stage and then, at 1:10, do an early version of Conan O’Brien’s String Dance. Right after that, Al Jarreau checks in and immediately stars Al Jarreauing all over the place, causing The Cos to instantly retaliate with the fake pass-out move to end his dance with Debbie Allen, drawing laughter from the crowd and quickly ruining Jarreau’s night.
The bass solo is just the cherry on top by the time we see it, a total victory lap for Combustible Huxtable. I rate this well below Jagger’s epic Hall of Fame performance for a number of reasons, but it’s still a pretty thorough drubbing by The Cos.
Overall, I’d give final rankings for the major players as:
1. Bill Cosby
2. Nancy Wilson
3. Rosa Parks
4. Phylicia Rashad’s Shoulder Armor
5. Debbie Allen (she knew who was winning this thing and made sure to get as much time with Dr. Cosby as possible)
6. George Benson
7. Phylicia Rashad
8. Diana Krall (wants to sing, tries to sing, completely gives up on it about half a second in)
9. Aretha Franklin (total non-entity in this, how does she let that happen?)
10. Al Jarreau
Dishonorable Mention (Ranked Dead Last): Tipper Gore – check out that clapping move at end, around 2:36. What the shit? And this woman was almost allowed to pass judgment on music? The John Denver/Frank Zappa/Dee Snider team that took her down can never get enough credit for putting a stop to that.
That was brilliant!
But Tipper did win to a large extent. The RIAA caved in and started putting “parental advisory” stickers on records and CDs.
My mother rode on a bus from Philly to DC to the March on Washington and the Cos was a fellow passenger. She didn’t have nice things to say about him. Even way back then he was, apparently, quite full of himself.
Man, that was awful, how did you even happen across it?
I was searching for a version of a particular Al Jarreau video that would allow embedding. Sadly, all the “best” Al Jarreau studio videos seem to be highly protected against inclusion in blogs like our own. Too bad. He’s a Rock Town Hall exclusive series in himself.
The Smelling Salts move brought tears to my eyes — excellent analysis.