KingEd reviews the 43rd digital repackaging of Led Zeppelin’s Greatest Hits…in real time!
The other day I was driving around with my oldest son when Led Zeppelin’s “Good Times, Bad Times” came on the radio. I cranked it up – and then cranked it up further as the solo approached. I tried to square my jaw like Bill Cowher’s and show the boy what it means to be alone, not to care what the neighbors say. Little did I know the song was probably programmed to play at that particular time on that particular Classic Rock station to celebrate the release of the latest 2-CD, remastered, repackaged Greatest Hits collection by these mighty titans of ’70s hard rock, Mothership. This edition was personally sequenced, remastered, and violated by the surviving members of Led Zeppelin. Even the ghost of deceased drummer John Bonham is said to have done his part with a red snapper.
Listen to “Dazed and Confused” and consider just how small Jack White’s well-intentioned dick is in comparison. Oh, John Paul Jones, no wonder Robert Plant is moaning during the psychedelic breakdown! As noble as Plant’s recent collaboration is with bluegrass artist Alison Krauss, this is the sound that gets the kingsnake-a-rattlin’. By the time we get to Jimmy Page’s typically ham-fisted guitar solo, who the hell cares?
As far back as the late ’60s, did the dark arts in which Plant and Page dabbled divine the following decade’s coming punk rock revolution? “Communication Breakdown” would forever haunt stuck up, insecure punks of my generation. No matter how cool we thought we were with our pumping, Ramones-style Barre chords, the mighty Led Zep had been there, done that.
Manliness established, it’s time Page picks some delicate arpeggios on his acoustic while Plant trolls for a maiden or three. “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You” goes out to the ladies. The delicate pleas of the front men are punctuated by the massive tom fills of John Bonham, rock’s heaviest drummer. Eventually, following one last volley of Page-Plant curlicues, Bonzo inspires the pretty boys to give up the chase and go for the kill. “Baby, baby, baby, baby…” As a teen I was amazed and disgusted by how many times Page could moan “baby” and “woman.” To this day I’m a bit baffled by this practice, but now I’m willing to let it ride.
As “Whole Lotta Love” kicks in I wish my Mom had remembered to check the radiator on my ’72 Nova while I was away at college. I’d still be driving that bad boy, and I’d still crank it up when this song came on. Then I’d blow out a speaker when the following Zeppelin classic got to its funky chorus: “Ramble On”. Loosen your belt a notch, let this song wash over you, and tell me you will ever be able to listen to a Decemberists album again.
OK, “Heartbreaker” introduces my first beef with this collection. a major beef that has been repeated as long as Zeppelin songs have been digitized and repacked in various “gotta have ’em” hits sets: it’s not followed by “Living Loving Maid (She’s Just a Woman)”! As any high school guitar hero can tell you, the hard work that went into slavishly learning every stilted note in Page’s unaccompanied “Heartbreaker” solo was a build-up to the dead-stop ending and immediate launch into “…Maid” No sequence of 0s and 1s should stand between these two songs. Ever!
As titanic as “The Immigrant Song” is, it’s inclusion without a “cool” album cut in-between is beginning to make this too much of a Greatest Hits collection. I don’t know how you feel, but given the choice between a Greatest Hits collection and a Best of…, I usually lean toward the Best of… collection. It goes beyond the numbers, if you know what I mean.
Speaking of numbers, “Rock ‘n Roll” is a Zeppelin song that even relatively late converts to the band can continue to dislike. It’s not that great an “old-time rock ‘n roll” song; in fact, it’s not much better than the Seger song that makes our generation think of Tom Cruise in his tighty whiteys. Cruise in briefs in a Cadillac? No thanks.
There’s one rule I have about long Zeppelin blooz cuts: Skip ’em! Sorry folks, no further insights to share on this piece of trash known as “Since I’ve Been Loving You”.
“Black Dog” is a song that’s a little cooler in concept than in practice, but it will get me through a stretch of traffic or home from a club late at night. More exciting, however, is “When the Levee Breaks”, which for all its proto-PJ Harvey, crawlin’ kingsnake charm is really not much of a song to get into past the tremendous intro. Think about it, is there a song in rock history that gets more mileage out of the drum sound in the intro? It’s all there, man.
There’s one rule I have about listening to “Stairway to Heaven”: Unless I’m instructing a young listener on the often silly dynamics of ’70s rock, there’s no reason to sit through this song again. This was playing in the background during my first, middle school makeout session. It will never get better than that moment. There are details from that evening that I will not share with young listeners. Let’s move along.
The movie of this title fulfills all the malevolent wishes a teenage, pussy punk rocker circa 1978 might have had for Zeppelin, but the song “The Song Remains the Same” is out of this world. I imagine this is what the fellows in Rush aspired to every time they put down their slide rules and entered the studio. Dream on, Geddy!
Wanna learn how to play a few riffs on acoustic guitar to impress the ladies? The Beatles’ “Blackbird” a little too soft for the woman you have in mind? How about you pick out the opening of “Over the Hills and Far Away”? Once again, Bonzo and the boys quickly burst in on your little makeout session, but it’s cool.
“D’Yer Maker” is a good song to like when you don’t normally like Zeppelin, but once you do it gets old fast. On the other hand, “No Quarter” is one of those junkie, vomit-encrusted blooz numbers that go on forever. The most significant thing about it is Jones’ nausea-inducing electric piano. Skip!
“Trampled Under Foot” is another song that kids who don’t really like this band can grab onto. It’s like Aerosmith without the goofy, grinning hambone of Steven Tyler. It’s like Stevie Wonder on Satan.
Then, children, there’s the manifesto of “Houses of the Holy”, with the immortal lines, “Let the music be your master, can you hear the master’s call?” Believe me, I can hear them. Once again, the funk of Led Zeppelin comes to the fore. Later period Zeppelin, when not too under the spell of Page’s Satanic junk spree, could boogie down with the best of them.
“Kashmir”…signaling yet another potentially damaging at-bat by Chase Utley! I remember watching the long hike up the snow-covered mountain that Toby McGuire and his mates made in the third Lord of the Rings movie and thinking that the entire scene was a visualization of this song. Still one of the least-expected turns rock ‘n roll has taken. You’re telling me John Lydon and Keith Levene didn’t listen to this song every day while recording The Flowers of Romance album? For shame, punk rockers!
“Nobody’s Fault But Mine” is yet another funky Zeppelin number. They should repackage a CD of nothing but Zeppelin funk some day. This track mixes the funk with the junk in a way that George Clinton must have appreciated. Page often does his best guitar playing on these funky cuts.
We come to “Achilles Last Stand”, a rambling mess of all that sucked about the heavy metal that would follow in Zep’s wake. How is it that the one band that essentially forged the metal genre could leave a legacy so mighty that no other bands could build upon it?
At this point, even Zeppelin would, wisely, back off from the mineral deposits they begun to leave. This collection wraps up with “In the Evening” and “All of My Love”, the two hit singles from the band’s unplanned swan song, In Through the Out Door. “In the Evening” starts off like its going to be one of those jaundiced tracks off Presence, but it quickly picks up steam and points the way toward a poppier take on the Zeppelin funk. Billy Squier would spend a couple of years trying to scale these moderate heights. “All of My Love” probably pissed off the faithful, especially when not nuzzling up to a girlfriend’s neck, but it also pointed toward a way out, or should I say a way into the dignified melding of ’50s rock, hippie idealism, ’70s funk, and Eastern/occult mysticism that had always interested the band and that drives Plant to this day.
nice work ed!
there’s the occasional little thing that rankle me (“ham fisted” solo, maybe, but that doesn’t tell a fraction of the story: its hamfistedness works perfectly in its context).
not having read ALL of your reviews, i could be wrong about this, but it seeeeeems like you can’t resist writing from a point of view that looks down on the artist. do you realize that it smacks of Comic-Book-Guy-ish, web surfer nerdiness? you sound the acid tongued worsmith nerdsmith who never got laid, and is more than a little resentful of the artists you review ((((of course, it’s bound to go over well here in rth, where chaloot web warriors like HVB rule the day…ha! forgive me hvb, i couldn’t resist…that’s a joke and you know it: pot? kettle? i think so)))).
but seriously, ed, try coming down off your high horse every now and again! i’m not asking for supplicant reverance. but vary the voice and tone a bit! you’re a talented writer, capable of much more color than you give. it’ll force you to be more thoughtful, too. and when you DO choose to deploy this snarky voice you’ve cultivated so well it will have much more impact.
i’m aware that these comments are unsolicited, and you know nothing of my credentials as a writer, but i offer them with the sincerest intentions, as a careful reader and fan.
and in this regard, i must note that i had a GREAT chuckle with you on your notion of rush’s indebtedness to ‘song remains the same’. i always thought the same thing about *that zep song in particular*. it’s like rush’s template (“FLY by night-ta-wayee-from-heah!”)!!
good show.
one question: how’s the sound? you use the word “violated” to describe what they’ve done with the songs but i don’t know if you follow through on that. were you talking about the sound? and if you weren’t can you describe the sound?
here’s why i ask:
i was never pleased with the zep cd releases (universally maligned).
and if we really listen closely and critically to the mixes on the first box set, without relying on our “cultural memory” of the way the song sounds in our heads, the bass guitar is a little louder than it was on the 70s vinyl pressings, while the drums are surprisingly light.
it sounds as if there was a concerted effort to bring some of the nice things jones did on bass more to the forefront. for example, the difference between the bass sound on ‘black dog’ and ‘levee’ from my vinyl to the box set is astonishing: the bass has much more bite and is much louder on the later mixes.
also, the original *sound* of the drums, that nice room sound they got “to tape”, was so good, so easy to work with, that the drums still sound “big” even though they’re not as loud relative to the other instruments.
it’s almost as if everyone’s memory of the more prominent drums on the original mixes was so vivid, that the drums on the box set wound up being a little under mixed. it’s easy to make these subtle mistakes. the wrong pair of speakers at the wrong volume may fool even the best pair of ears into thinking that a particular instrument is more present than it really is. and i think the drums actually got short shrift on that for cd box set.
so i was hoping that these new mixes would rectify some of those problems.
btw, “mothership” is just the teaser for a “complete” remastering…every frikkin’ track, correct?
saturnismine, thanks for checking out this review. As for what you say here…
My four biological sons can attest to the fact that I’ve gotten laid at least four times – and made out during “Stairway to Heaven”!
And what, step in a steaming pile of dung? I gives credit where credit’s due.
The feedback’s cool with me. My review was uncsolicited too – other than the solicitations of Valania and Mod.
My use of the term “violated” was nothing more than a softening of a rude joke I was hinting at regarding the red snapper from that Zep bio. I cannot accurately judge the sound of this reissue. Often, as was the case here, Valania gives me a preview of the streaming audio track he runs on Phawker. I literally write this shit in real time as I listen for the first time. This may help to explain my reliance on a certain tone. This and the meatloaf I ate last night.
KingEd sez:
the song “The Song Remains the Same” is out of this world. I imagine this is what the fellows in Rush aspired to every time they put down their slide rules and entered the studio. Dream on, Geddy!
I say:
Brrrrrravolingus! Excellent!
Hey Ed, I remember that car! I never knew what happened to it. Eff your Mom (just kidding)
Not to pince-nez you (especially on Zep), but wasnt the the other “hit” off the “In through the out door” “Fool In The Rain”? “In The Evening” was closer to “South Bound Suarez” in popularity.
thanks for the responses ed! pretty funny!
andyr: “In the Evening” got alot of airplay, and was the tune longtime zep fans cited if they wanted to make the “still got it” argument. but you’re right abut “fool in the rain”. it was every bit as big as “all of my love”.
I enjoyed reading this fine report of a release I never intend to listen to. I’d be interested in hearing why there’s any point whatsoever in hearing these songs other than on their original releases. Few bands have made albums that were so totally relevant AS albums.
And hrunndi, I don’t mean that I’m opposed to hearing them as individual songs, all right pally?
Saturnismine sez:
…and you know nothing of my credentials as a writer…
I say:
All I know about your credentials is that you can’t be bothered to use the effing “Shift” key when you start a new sentence! I swear you’ve been plucking this nerve of mine for *years* now, Sat. For the record, smart people — who communicate extensively in writing — who sniff at this basic (and very helpful) rule of written communication really PISS ME OFF! Who are you, e.e. cummings or something? Sheezus!
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. You know I love you, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Having said that: fix this problem, immediately!
Wow. Hrrundi, that was one lovin’ scolding. And Ed, you have done a man’s job in kicking this dead horse of a greatest hits collection. Saturnismine, don’t take any BS from either of these guys!
“Few bands have made albums that were so totally relevant as albums.”
Interesting point. Could you explain your thinking a bit further?
Overall, I liked the review. It reminds me that Zep were probably the best at rescuing sub-standard material. For example the stop/start in between Heartbreaker and Livin Lovin Maid revives what is a rather dull riff workout. And Page’s jazzy solo saves the overly turgid “No Quarter.”
no worries mod. ed and i are cool, i’m sure.
hvb can shove his petty grievances up his arse as far as i’m concerned.
though he hurt my feelings — and deeply, i might add — my real concern is for him, not myself.
i cling to his closing remark, that he “wouldn’t change a thing” about me. it offers a glimmer of hope because it suggests what we’ve wished for him all along: that he indeed may have a *life*, a balanced view, and is really not so easily worked up over such small things.
as for you hvb, i’ve been meaning to tell you: that box of dildos you were ashamed to have sent to your own address still sits here awaiting its rightful owner. my special ladyfriend is on the verge of giving them to her single friends. we’ve done you a solid by not throwing them out with along the gay porno, the viagra, and the rogaine you left here that you’re also embarrassed to pick up. we’re keeping your copy of the “sound of music”, however. i’m sure you understand.
and really, man…look, it’s no skin off my back if you choose to continue hiding behind your rth jim dandy *wang dang sweet poontang* persona in these hallowed halls.
but i think you and i both know you’ll eventually have to face reality and come clean about who you really are. i know you’re afraid that some of the *real* men of rth for whom you pine (especially velv, for instance) will reject you. but you’re wrong. there may be some sniggering at first, but they’ll come around.
i’m here for you, brother.
but please get it together, would you?
it’s episodes like these that remind me of how hard it must be to be you.
concerned,
your brother from another mother, mr. ismine.
Dr. John, it was the era of the album, and in some ways Zeppelin achieved that possibility more consistently than the band’s contemporaries. I think the segues between the differing sonic textures in Zeppelin songs make the albums often feel “of a piece,” without being concept albums, of course. I don’t think that breaks down really until Physical Graffiti (which I still love), and from that point the band still has a number of great songs although the albums are more inconsistent. But even all of the hit-and-miss Presence sounds like its own total sound, on some important level.
First off, great post. However, I have a few comments which I will address one by one.
I’ve also long thought that “Communication Breakdown” was a major influence on punk (as evidenced by D.O.A.’s cover of it), but I found out recently that it’s based on Eddie Cochran’s “Nervous Breakdown”. Cochran’s “Something Else”, of course, was covered by Sid Vicious and Cochran is also responsible for inspiring punks on both sides of the Atlantic (and in the case of X’s Billy Zoom, the Pacific, too). Thus, it’s 2nd generation recycling.
This is dead-on, but to the best of my knowledge, they’ve only been repackaged in a “hits” set once on that ill-advised 4-disc box set. If you spring for the real deal, the 9-disc box that contains everything they ever recorded with one album per disc (including Coda), you can avoid this issue as “Heartbreaker” is followed as it should be, by “Livin’ Lovin’ Maid” on disc 2.
Actually I always thought it was “Achilles’ Last Stand”, which you trash further down, that’s really similar to Rush, but I can see you would think so.
Actually I think “Fool in the Rain” probably pissed them off more. I can tell you that when I first heard Presence and In Through the Out Door in their entireties when I was 14, I was pissed off, but this was 1989 and I was discovering all of their albums 10-20 years after they’d come out.
I also remember Klaus Meine of The Scorpions calling “Fool in the Rain” music to wash cars by or something (I’m paraphrasing here) and expressing a feeling of betrayal when he first heard it.
Now that’s a great line! They wish, but that’s just awesome.
KingEd, thanks for listening to Led Zeppelin so I don’t have to. You’re like one of those web sites that watches Fox News so I don’t have to. I had a friend that had one of those old cassette tapes that came with portable recorders when you bought them so you could test them. They were like six minutes a side. My friend recorded Kashmir on both sides and flew from Cleveland to California and took his portable recorder and a bunch of batteries and listened to Kashmir over and over. Sounds like waterboarding to me, but he was proud.
I dont know why but I really like Jimmy Page on The Yardbirds Little Games album, but everything after, not so much. But thanks for making reading about something I’ll never listen to enjoyable.