The other day, EPG exulted in passing about having scored a mono copy of “Blonde On Blonde.” At first, I was like, whatever, you’re a record dealer, Dylan crazies will probably pay you a jillion dollars for that album, good for you, etc.

Then I got to wondering: is Gergley one of those people who thinks that mono is inherently superior to stereo? Such people do exist. I believe Joey Ramone was one — the lead singer guy from the Lyres was another. But there are others.

I’m not talking about people who think that music originally mixed in mono should be listened to in mono. I’m one of those people. I’m especially one of those people when it comes to the Beatles, up to the White Album. The Beatles themselves presided over their mixes, tweaking them to their detailed specifications, in mono. Then they went out to have a beer while the boffins dragged all the instruments over to this channel, and all the vocals to that one, and made the band’s stereo “mixes.” No thank you!

But I’m not asking whether you agree with me about the Beatles mono vs. stereo mixes. Anybody who disagrees with me there has rocks in his head. I’m wondering whether there are any arguments to be made for mono’s inherent superiority over stereo, in any circumstance. What do you think?

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

Let’s take a break from talking about the quality of certain artists and whether cheese is palatable or not and talk about what everyone really cares about: aesthetics. Who cares if you have technical skill if you’re not looking snazzy while doing it. In all seriousness, I’d love to hear what your opinions are on some of the best looking or coolest guitars, basses, drums, or whatever other instruments are.

I suppose it wouldn’t be fair for me to ask without contributing something, so I’m going to give two. First would be this weird Strat that Todd Mohr is using here. I don’t know if I actually like the upside down headstock and f-hole on the Strat, or if it’s just so weird that I can’t help but admire it.

Second has to be all this custom synth housing in the Crowded House live-from-home video. The arrangement of it all and the variety of sound that you can get from shoving different electronics in the same body is interesting. Again, I have my doubts about this one, but I admire his commitment to finding a style that works for him and hammering it into the ground.

That’s enough out of me and my takes, I’d like to hear everyone else’s.

We do it all the time: mention a band at a party, or over a beer, and somebody — probably you — will trot out some tired old anecdote involving scandal, madness, debauchery, or cruelty to show that you know what you’re supposed to know about the artist in question. Like Mikey dying from drinking a coke after eating Pop Rocks, it may or may not actually be true, but who cares? It’s a story everybody knows, so it becomes lingua franca.

But let’s make this a bit more fun, shall we? Imagine you’re at a party, and someone says:

“What was the name of that band/artist… you know, the one…”

…followed by a shallow, regurgitated bit of lore, like:

“… that shoved a freshly caught mackerel into a groupie’s cooter?”

Okay, that one is easy. But try these on for size. Or add your own! But do let us know what band or artist the party bore is jawboning about.

1. “… where the lead singer freaked out on acid and started to believe that dogs were Gods because they were spelled the same, backwards.” — ANSWER: SKY SAXON

2. “…. where the guy killed himself by throwing himself in front of an oncoming train.”

3. “… where the guy’s mom made him get electro-shock therapy, after he tried to jump off the roof at a party.”

4. “…where the guy used to mainline heroin on stage.” HVB FALLS FOR HALF-REMEMBERED ROCK LORE BULLSHIT, AND THOUGHT THE ANSWER WAS LOU REED

5. “… where the lead singer and guitarist took so many drugs, they paid to have their entire blood supply replaced, just so they’d survive touring.” — ANSWER: AEROSMITH

6. “… where the lead singer used to come out on stage wearing nothing but a bed sheet with a hole cut in it. He’d lift the sheet up while singing, and get blow jobs from the chicks in the audience. That’s why the band’s performances used to be rated X!” — ANSWER: GEORGE CLINTON

7. “…where the guy used to cut himself with broken glass on stage.” — ANSWER: IGGY POP

8. “… where the guy, like, stayed in bed for, like, ten years or something.” — ANSWER: BRIAN WILSON

9. “…where the lead guitarist used to get panties thrown at him at every show. He was like a huge sex symbol back in the 70s, but he’s a nobody now.”

10. “… where the guy supposedly had the biggest dick in show business back in the 40s and 50s.”

11. “…where the guy got so turned on by the plaster mold the ‘plaster casters’ were using to get a model of his wang, that he started fucking it!” — ANSWER: HENDRIX

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

Once in a while, I feel like something’s going on that I’m not getting. In the words of Elvis’s second greatest hits package, “50 million fans can’t be wrong.”

Avalon, Roxy Music.

The wife and I are obsessed with the TV show Doc Martin. Can’t get enough of it. We’re on the 6th season, and it just keeps getting better and better. And that more or less goes for just about anything we’ve seen recently from the BBC. Don’t know much about how they function, but it seems like there’s some kind of stipulation in project contracts stating characters must look, sound, and act like real people. Doc, played by Martin Clunes, is best described as homely and doesn’t suffer fools; his wife is pleasantly attractive and talented, definitely not a Barbie bimbo; Bert, who can’t cook to save his life, weighs more than Haystacks Calhoun; and Bert’s son and business partner is the twin of one my most beloved grade partners (yet another reason why I’m hooked, I miss the guy). In short, they’re real.