Before he departed for his summer place in the Hamptons, rock impresario and noted tastemaster/messiah Clive Davis left behind a memo for you to finish. It’s the usual — you know, his “fill in the blanks” number. Normally, as you know, Clive just pulls one of these out of his desk drawer and fills in the missing words — and that’s all we need to really kick-start a washed-up rocker’s career. This time, though, Clive just didn’t have the time. Can you help?
MEMORANDUM
TO: Bob Dylan
FROM: Clive Davis
RE: Your Career/”Relevance”
Bob, per our last discussion about your desire to become “really relevant” again — I think we can help. As you know, J Records has a line on some of the youngest, hippest talent out there, and I think a liberal sprinkling throughout your next record might help. Specifically, I recommend:
1. Getting __________________ to handle production duties. I really think his chart-proven approach to ________________ will help open the public’s ears to what you have to say.
2. Try something new in terms of your “look.” For one thing, ditch the _________________! The kids just aren’t buying that shit anymore — instead, I want you to _____________________.
3. These days, relevance happens as a result of novel in-studio partnerships — you know, like Santana and what’s-his-name a few years back. Talk about relevance — that number was in every fucking elevator in Manhattan for MONTHS. Here are two partners I’m suggesting for you on this new LP, and the reason why I think they’d really kill for you, sales-wise:
a.) ______________________
b.) ______________________
4. One last thing: you need to face facts — your “message” is falling on deaf ears out there. What today’s record buyers want is ________________ — and lots of it. So our first order of business will be to __________________ — no ifs, ands or buts.
I think that covers it — we can talk pre- and post-launch PR later. (Heads-up, though: I got two words for you, and one of them is “Idol.”) Let me know your thoughts, and… go open a new bank account to put all that glorious new money in!
Love ya,
CJD
