Rock Crimes

Rock ‘n roll is rife with ambitious failures and outright flops, and the marketplace has its way of dealing with artists who produce such works. One of the things we keep watch over at Rock Town Hall is Rock Crimes. In some cases, Rock Crimes are bitterly debated, but every effort must be made to guard against their spread, even at the risk of unfairly bringing charges against an otherwise fine and groundbreaking artist for inspiring countless bad imitators. Rock Crimes can be committed in the form of songs, live performances, videos, or even stage dress or cover art. Typically, they are the work of critically acclaimed, influential artists. Recently voted, ROCK CRIME OF THE CENTURY by our good townspeople is the 1985 video for Ja-Bo’s (Mick Jagger and David Bowie’s) cover of “Dancing in the Street”. Over the course of the video, the duo manage to offend and betray all sense of cool rock decorum, from the first ass-kissing geographical shoutouts and Jagger’s matching Day-Glo green sneaks and blouse to both men’s Zuba pants and Bowie’s longcoat – not to mention dance moves out of a Dr. Pepper ad and the gated drums necessary for any generic attempt at cashing in on Live Aid. All that was cool about Jagger and Bowie headed straight for the dumper; to this day, their greatest works are tarnished by memories of this collaboration. You will find that many Rock Crimes are self-directed, and you may ask, “What’s the big deal?” Listen, we need a few artists to remain larger than life. It’s part of what fueled the genre in the first place. The more time you spend in the Halls of Rock, the more you will become aware of the Rock Crimes around us. We trust that you will do your part in bringing these possible crimes to our attention.