Jun 142010
Fela, captain of the Nigerian team, wants in!
To celebrate the kick-off of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, can we select a bracket of the 16 most-rocking nations, including artists to represent each nation? Although this is the World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll, let’s be open-minded and allow “world” musicians into the mix. The roster of each nation can be represented by as many as THREE artists, to avoid having to choose between the Beatles and the Stones, for instance, after first selecting Led Zeppelin and Lily Allen to represent the mighty entry from England.
Feel free to begin by suggesting nations, with or without the two representative artists. You may suggest as many as 16 finalists or as few as 1 at a time.
Once the brackets are set – and only then – will the matches play out!
To get this bracket started, I think you’ve got to include England, with a team consisting of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and an English artist to be determined. Selection of that third roster spot can follow, but I don’t think you can keep England out of this competition.
US, Canada, Sweden, Ireland, and Australia. Possibly New Zealand.
I will nominate the Verlaines and Flight of the Conchords for New Zealand.
Easybeats and AC/DC for Australia
Ah, Sweden is a good one to throw into the mix. I hadn’t thought of them yet.
By the way, to make this more relevant and competitive, should we only include ACTIVE ARTISTS in the mix, or at least one active player among each three-team roster? The latter may be a little easier for some of us out-of-touch fogies to manage.
How does that leave you with the Beatles and Stones for the UK, then?
If Neil Finn is from New Zealand does Crowded House get to qualify for the New Zealand team (with occasional NZ-born bandmate Tim Finn), or does the fact that the band was formed in Australia with two Aussies rounding out the lineup put them in the mix for Team Australia? The band may be shut out from either squad, but we’ll leave it to our Thunder Down Under, Townsman mikeydread, and any other Austalian continent Townspeople to judge.
mockcarr, if we only go with active artists, then the Beatles are OUT. If we make the rule that at least one artist needs to be ACTIVE then the Stones at least technically qualify in any circumstances. We could just put together rosters based on all-time artists and then make an active artists-only rule the next time we run the RTH World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll.
Important poll just launched to help us complete some thinking I should have done prior to posting this thread…
Jamaica should be included in the tourney.
Active, shmactive.
For the Netherlands, we have Golden Earring, Shocking Blue, and, of course, Focus.
Are you ready to yodel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allow me to propose an alternate roster suggestion: Any living artist is eligible to represent his/her/their nation, but they do so in their current state of artistic capabilities.
Would the Shine A Light Stones still be a lock to make Team England, or would they be given the chance to gracefully claim injured and unable to compete status?
Add HooDoo Guru’s to Team Australia.
Scorpions, Nina Hagen and UFO for Germany.
Thin Lizzy, U2 and the Pogues for Ireland
Neil Young, Triumph and Gordon Lightfoot!
Townes Van Zandt, Michael Nesmith, and Buddy Holly for Texas!…oh….wait…sorry….I got caught up…
TB
The Hives and Soundtrack Of Our Lives for Sweden.
Rockfour for Israel, but that’s all I got there. Perhaps Jewish rockers around the world can claim it as theirs?
Triumph? there’s an own goal, for sure 🙂
I would suggest The Bats join the New Zealand team, and The Go-Betweens join team Australia. And Abba has to be with Sweden.
And where is France? We could include Serge Gainsbourg, Air, and another entry. Brigitte Bardot would be interesting to have on the field, but I think she would slow the play down.
To team England, I would suggest Radiohead, some electronica, such as Underworld, or some of the Ska Revival groups just to change up the style.
And Fela Kuti could start off the Nigerian team…
Before we fret over rosters (and I have some ideas for settling that task…) let’s see where we’re heading in terms of our 16 competitors.
I don’t think anyone would make a good case for arguing against the following…
QUALIFIERS:
USA
England
Ireland
Canada
Those four nations may even make up our top seeds in each group of four divisions, right?
Right on the heels of Ireland, for that fourth first-seed slot, however may be the following…
HIGHLY PROBABLES:
Australia
Jamaica
In fact, aside from hairsplitting over seeding, we’ve got to qualify them already, meaning 6 of the 16 slots are nailed down.
That leaves the following…
LIKELY
Sweden
New Zealand
…and the following, with possible issues they face, other than challenges from as-yet-unnamed nations, such as Ethiopia and Cuba, in parentheses…
POSSIBLES
Netherlands (may split votes with “the Dutch”)
France (video evidence of smokin’ hot French women talk-singing the works of old, pervy producers may not be compatitble with all computers and cell phones)
Germany (judges to decide if sole Germany member in both Steppenwolf and War qualify those bands as German nationals, then judges to decide if either band helps Germany’s cause)
Isreal (can they qualify on the strength of Rockfour and Isreali-born [I believe] Gene Simmons?)
Nigeria (awaiting education on other musicians to fill out roster with Fela Kuti)
I’m sure there’s more intrigue to follow. Entire continents have yet to be represented!
Iceland! Go Bjork and Sigur Ros!
Could ask if the Silver Jews would be willing to play for Israel?
The other two heavyweights of Nigerian music would probably be Ebenezer Obey and King Sunny Ade.
And Malka Spigel, now the wife and musical partner of Wire’s Colin Newman, is Israeli, and her band Minimal Compact had some fame in the 80s.
Last minute contenders: Japan. Cibo Matto, Buffalo Daughter, Shonen Knife, Cornelius, Yoko Ono, Yellow Magic Orchestra, Guitar Wolf, the Boredoms.
I was thinking of Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland being split, Scotland deserves a chance to shine, and one might even make a case for Wales, home of the mighty Young Marble Giants, Manic Street Preachers, and Tom Jones.
If we’re talking Japan, we have to be talking Pinky Piglets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbJ_qnD2I34
And for Wales: Super Furry Animals!
I thought about Scotland. That is a real country, right?
At the risk of continuing to expose one of my serious gaps in knowledge, is Wales technically a sovereign country, or is it part of England and England lets Wales have some rule over itself?
Between all the chanteuses, France definitely has a full team. Just add Francoise Hardy, France Gall, (Edith Piaf if you can handle the possible off-side calls), and Claudine Longet.
St. Etienne could bemuddle everyone, as it’s the name of a French provincial team but the group would be playing for England.
And the Spice Girls must be in the British line up as Posh Spice has a figurative and literal in.
This is the BIG leagues, right? Y’all are throwing out some pretty minor league talents to go against the powerhouses. There won’t be any upsets with these musical Detroit Lions. You might need to combine some of these countries as joint representatives of the developing rock world.
We’ll have to see how things play out on the pitch, chickenfrank. I know what you mean, but there could be upsets. Let’s make sure we fill the 16 slots with the best available national talent.
One note: cover bands are not allowed, so that rules out any classical musicians someone may have in mind for those weaker continental European entries.
Mexico! Cafe Tacuba!
New Zealand can have Crowded House. They love them and really Neil Finn – he’s a Kiwi.
The Chills, NZ’s finest, are back on active duty after an 18 year lay-off. They are still rocking, big time.
Hoodoo Gurus is a good call for Australia. They could go on before Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.
Nigeria: Fela Kuti, yes!
PS, I would love to see USA put England under serious pressure.
Whether Scotland and Wales are ‘countries’ is a complicated issue. Along with Northern Ireland they have separate parliaments or assemblies and limited self-government, but technically only the United Kingdom is a sovereign state. In other words the U.K., like the Republic of Ireland, has formal relationships with other nations and also with the European Union and the U.N., but N. Ireland, Scotland, and Wales do not.
Btw the U.K. is officially known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Great Britain is the island consisting of England, Wales, and Scotland.
If this is not confusing enough, when it comes to sports, I mean sport, all of these entities tend to have separate governing bodies.
What – no Brazil yet? May I suggest Jorge Ben, Caetano Veloso and Os Mutantes. The German side is clearly missing the krautrockers like Kraftwerk, Can and Neu.
Good call on adding Brazil. I *love* Caetano Veloso, but, if ‘most rocking’ is what we’re going for, I’d substitute Gilberto Gil.
Yes, Kraftwerk, the big guns for Germany.
Australia face Germany first up (4.30am, our time) and it is, as they say in the classics *a big ask*. WE are going to need all the rocking power that can be mustered.
For The Netherlands, I’d drop Shocking Blue and add The Outsiders. Those guys were really great.
I think The Hellacopters would add some serious muscle to the Swedish team.
I’d nominate Neil Young, The Guess Who and Bachman Turner Overdrive for Canada. I’ll give that lotsa people here aren’t gonna like BTO, but who else are you gonna use? Rush?
I think we’ll treat the UK countries separately, following FIFA’s lead. So…
No arguments here, right?
QUALIFIERS:
USA
England
Ireland
Canada
Australia
Jamaica
What about these countries?
LIKELY
Sweden
New Zealand
That probably leaves half the field open. Is anyone sold on any of the following?
POSSIBLES
Netherlands
France
Germany
Isreal
Nigeria
Japan
Scotland
Wales
Brazil
I’m down with Germany and Brazil, when you consider the influence and popularity of some of their own takes on rock ‘n roll. Nigeria seems to be a home of influential “World” music, so I have no arguments there. I think that French music is mostly a crock, but I know it’s got a big following. Does France make it? I could see Wales edging in on the strength of John Cale and Dave Edmunds, but Scotland? I’m not buying Bay City Rollers and that band that ’80s band that sounded like U2 with bagpipes. Maybe Japan is worth considering for television ratings…
I’m a big fan of that ’60s music from Ethiopia, if we need more representation from the continent of Africa.
The more I think about it, the more I think it should ONLY include currently operating bands. I think Pele is defunct, so wherever he’s from can’t use him anymore, right?
Hey, sorry it’s stupid, but it’s soccer, and I didn’t make the rules.
Kraftwerk, 4: Hoodoo Gurus, 0.
mikeydread, I know Germany is usually strong in socc-, er, football; is Australia usually that overmatched in international play?
Damn your didactic exclusions! Check out this line up for Austria:
Franz “Blue Suede” Shubert
Wolfgang “Rock Me Amadeus” Mozart
Gustav “Good Times” Mahler
I’m not expecting the judges to be swayed.
Don’t forget Norway, with its legion of Satan worshiping, church burning, corpse painted Black Metal bands (I’ll leave it to you to look up the names; I don’t listen to that crap).
You can make a case for Scotland without resorting to Big Country and Simple Minds. Donovan, Teenage Fanclub and that Hamish guy you keep going on about are all Scots.
Is the host country of S. Africa the only English speaking country without a rock and roll tradition? They aren’t making it on the strength of Johnny Clegg and Savuka.
And a further nod to the Scotland and k.: all the Postcard bands such as Orange Juice (or singly Edwin Collins), Aztec Camera (Roddy Frame), Jospeh K, and the Cormorants. And don’t forget Jesus and Mary Chain, and the Cocteau Twins. Even Mogwai could be included although their footwork could be a bit complicated.
I would include Scotland and bump Israel.
All right, the field of 16 is beginning to come into view. Here’s what we have so far:
QUALIFIERS:
USA
England
Ireland
Canada
Australia
Jamaica
Wales
Scotland
Sweden
New Zealand
Germany
France
Nigeria
Brazil
TWO SLOTS REMAIN. WHO WILL FILL THEM?
OK, there are 100 Norwegian Black Metal bands listed on here:
http://www.norsksvartmetall.com/top1.htm
So, you’d best include Norway, or face Satan’s mighty & terrible wrath!
I can’t remember hearing much rock from Norway, but I’ve listened to Norwegian Wood a lot.
“As many as three artists” — implying that if a nation has one extraordinary one, they qualify. (Though, admittedly, they risk being knocked out early due to lack of bench depth.) If I interpret the rules correctly, I’d like to offer up Guyana, on the strength of their one Great artist. Early cultural iconoclast, killer pop tunesmith and elder statesman of caribbean/world music… Eddy Grant.
I think there are enough Leningrad Cowboys to field a team for Finland.
I call bullshit.
If France is fielding a team, then the Netherlands should definitely qualify on the basis of Radar Love alone. Venus is awesome too. I’m not saying that Bettie Severirt or Focus are going to get them to the finals but they deserve a shot.
Netherlands is in!
Norway is in!
The field of 16 is set.
Stay tuned!
Hamish Stuart’s potential impact on Team Scotland could change everything. I imagine he would be their Diego Maradona. The Hair of God? If we’re going with the all-time format, he also brings the entirety of the Average White Band to the pitch.
Sloan could bolster Team Canada’s roster under either set of rules. Wales, meanwhile, would probably be surprisingly strong if we’re going with “only recently active” rosters.