Aug 112012
Song 3:
Goodbye Norma Jean
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on a treadmill
And they made you change your name
Is ‘colitis’ really a lyric in ‘Hotel California’? Were Henley and company already in on the game? I do my best not to pay attention whenever I have to hear that song. I will come back to this challenge when I’ve got something.
It should have been. Damn auto spell.
I’m going to steal a line I remember from Bobby Bittman. He always thought it sounded like the “the warm smell of coitus”! That’s a great madlib line, but I have to admit the “warm smell of colitis” is pretty freaking funny. Thank you Microsoft!
Don’t know if you have to be from the west (is the best) coast to know this but the word used is “colitas” which is Mexican slang for a lit marijuana bud. Si, en serio.
All right, let’s give this a crack…and I mean that in the crassest way, since the stage has been set for a scatological theme. Any of you over 45 will be able to relate:
On a BRIGHT HOSPITAL TABLE, cool GLOVE in my BUTT
Warm smell of COLITIS, rising up through the GUT
Up ahead in the INTESTINES, I HAD a shimmering FRIGHT
My head grew heavy and my FLEET KICKED IN
I had to DROP TROU ALL night
There she stood in SPONGEBOB SCRUBS;
I FELT the EVIL GEL
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven if it were THE HALL
Then she lit up THE PROBE, and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
YOUR COLON’S OKAY…
In light of today’s proceedings (and spurred on by that recent reference to Tom Lehrer):
Hello Paul Ryan
Though we hardly know you at all
You’ve been picked for number two
And Romney’s in your thrall.
The press came out the woodwork
They’re blowing up your fame
And you pursue the photo op
Adding Von Mises to your name.
Anthony slaves in a groceteria
Savin’ his pennies for Maria.
Mama Leone left a note on the door
She said Sonny “Don’t sell out and sing country.”.
Yeah working to hard I’d rather be eating at Outback.
Rather be in Philly warm and sunny.
And that’s a fact.