Thanks to you, the field of 16 for Rock Town Hall’s World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll has been set! Because this is our inaugural World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll, for this year only we will allow each competing nation to submit up to three artists, past or present. The rationale for keeping this year’s competition open to all-time contributors is to set the baseline for all future World Cup tournaments and enable up-and-coming rock rock nations the chance to overthrow more-established favorites in coming matches.
The groupings and our next steps toward opening ceremonies follow the jump!
Group A
USA (Coach: 2000 man)
Netherlands
Australia (Coach: cdm [unless mikeydread claims his home team])
Brazil (Coach: BigSteve)
Group B
England (Coach: Mr. Moderator)
Wales (Coach: plasticsun)
Nigeria (Coach: sir telewacker)
Germany
Group C
Ireland (Coach: hrrundivbakshi)
Jamaica (Coach: bostonhistorian)
New Zealand (Coach: k.)
Norway
Group D
Canada (Coach: northvancoveman)
Scotland (Coach: ladymisskirroyale)
France (Coach: cliff sovinsanity)
Sweden (Coach: mockcarr)
Before we get into the scoring system and all that jazz, we must first determine the coaches of each nation. At this time I ask that you submit your applications to serve as coach of the squad of your choice. To do so, you must simply be the first Townsperson to proclaim (in the Comments) something to the effect of, I would like to coach [nation X].
As coach of that squad, you will then need to, with your assistant coaches (ie, whichever Townspeople whose opinions you most value in the ensuing discussion), determine the artists (up to 3) who will represent your club.
In short, please use this thread to claim one of the 16 participating nations. Then, when you are confident of the roster you would like to take into this competition, state your roster.
Tomorrow or so, after we determine that much, I can walk you through the rules for play so that we may launch the opening ceremonies before getting this historic competition underway.
Yay!!! GO NORSE HELLHAMMERS!!!
I want Jamaica!
I have lived in six of the ten Canadian provinces, I speak enough French to get a hotel, beer and poutine in Montreal, I have seen every episode of SCTV and I play hockey three times a week. I humbly submit this application to be RTH’s World Cup Coach of Canada.
By virtue of my undying, slightly illogical fan-boy support of the late, Great Rory Gallagher — and my solemn vow to bench U2 for the duration of the tournament — I humbly request appointment as head coach for Team Ireland.
Jamaica, Canada, and Ireland thank you three Townsmen for taking on this enormous task!
bobbybittman, are you putting in a bid to coach Norway, or are you simply getting an early start on waving their colors?
As my family is from the British Midlands and hates all things not English, I respectfully request coaching the great Northern Outsiders, Scotland.
Granted, ladymisskirroyale. I’ll try to update the teams with their coaches as claimed, but if I run behind in doing that and you’ve already put your bid in, fear not!
I’ll have an afro-pop at coaching Nigeria.
Of course, it will be no surprise that the Pele of Afrobeat, Fela Anikulapo Kuti (much like ‘Baseball Bugs’ Bunny) will be the midfielder/forward/goalie/bench coach, but who will be the wingers driving the Nigerians on to victory? I must say it will be difficult without using ringers from Ghana or Congo but I’ve got a power/speed lineup in mind…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_Bugs
Mr. Moderator, as there are 11 players on a soccer/football team, couldn’t we chose 11 bands/artists to represent our team?
Damn, I thought sure I’d get Nigeria. I’d better speak up for Brazil then.
Bob Marley is already in training: http://theselvedgeyard.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/8hr_bob_marley_dribbling_ball.jpg
I would like to coach Australia but will defer to mickeydread and that other guy (underthefloat?)
Eleven artists would be too much to manage, if you take into account backing musicians, road crew, and groupies – and it would leave coaches too few hard choices.
A couple of big boys are left on the table. Is the pressure of coaching the US or England too strong?
I dig your link, sir telewacker, although I think someone pointed out that King Sunny Ade is Nigerian. Could be?
bostonhistorian, I’m sure just about all competing nations will be happy to learn that this tournament includes NO drug testing.
Whew. Drug testing would leave only Minor Threat in the competition, I think.
Mod, since you are a notorious American-rock-a-phobe, I demand that you speak your heart and ask to coach Britain, damned traitor that you are.
I was hoping to keep out of coaching the English squad, mwall, to ensure fairness in my refereeing and score keeping and to give other nations a chance to win this inaugural battle. If THE PEOPLE back your selection of me – and if the money is right – I will accept the job. It’s your call, PEOPLE.
Hell, I’ll take America. If we lose, feel free to blame the coach.
What color are our shirts?
I believe that I am up to the challenge of coaching the Tom Jones lead Wales.
The only way to ensure the Mod’s impartiality as a coach is to make him coach the American team. If he blows it (how could America *not* be the rockingest country?), we can easily call shenanigans. USA! USA!
You’ve got Wales, plasticsun. Thanks!
I might be able to coach USA to victory, but I’d have to pull out all stops. Let me think about it. I still think there will be less griping if I don’t coach any team, but the thrill of possible victory is enticing.
Hopefully we’ll get the coaches lined up tomorrow so that I can explain how matches will be played.
I’ll swap with you Mod, but I have to tell you, I’ve already started two a days with some American Corpse Rockers. They haven’t been called on for anything but back catalog and video appearances with their offspring so they’re a little rusty, but they’re surprisingly energetic and enthusiastic to kick the world’s collective rock n roll ass!
I appreciate the offer, 2k, but you’re the man for the US team. I’m going to step up and accept England’s offer. Along with my salary they have promised to dress me in the finest Italian suits while I patrol the sidelines, I mean, backstage.
Just a few more slots to fill. For those of you considering the Germany job, please note that the German birthplace of John Kay of Steppenwolf and Lee Oskar of War has been deemed acceptable for their entire bands to compete on the German squad.On the other hand, the Germans rejected Jackson Browne’s bid to play for the country in which he was born.
A note from the refs
The following behavior will NOT be tolerated by our coaches (not even CLOSE to safe-for-work-or-family content):
http://www.totalprosports.com/2010/06/11/does-it-get-any-better-than-a-micd-up-coach-being-ejected-video/
(Former Mets player-now-minor league manager Wally Backman was mic’ed when he went ballistic on an umpire.)
Cool, I can’t remember the last time I heard someone called a pipsqueak. He needs to work on his bat throwing though, it was a bit perfunctory after the first couple, although I like how he alerted the opposing catcher about his aim. I went to high school with a guy whose favorite player was Backman.
I would never agree to be a rocker soccer coach unless I’m allowed to throw vuvuzelas on the pitch after every red card. Also, I will absolutely need to know how to say “one who fornicates with someone’s female parent” in their language. I’ve heard the refs were alerted to all swear words ahead of time, and I wouldn’t want them to feel like that was wasted effort.
I would have considered taking on the challenge of Team Japan had they made it through the qualifying rounds and prevented the total rock whitewash that is Group D.
I’m also questioning the International Rock World Cup Committee’s decision to force Sweden to compete in the same group as the seemingly weak French Team, where the attractive and musically accomplished Swedes will face the double-handicap of overcoming the anti-Abba conspiracy that we all know plagues the Hall and being forced to send their attractive blondes into a trap game against a field full of Yé-yé Girls.
There’s some shady business going down here, man.
I always liked Backman, but he needs to do some aerobics if yelling and throwing some bats gets him that winded.
Since I professed a love of The Chills in an earlier thread plus my admiration of the Finn Bros, I will take over the Kiwi squad (unless mickeydread wants it). Can I consider the entire Flying Nun roster as one, big interconnected band?
And on the pitch, nice tying goal against Slovakia during stoppage time.
I’m so glad Backman is on my side!
I’m gonna have to double his salary and have him be my bench coach. Then I can sit up in the booth and send my orders from on high.
Whoever coaches the Swedish team, I can spread some of my love of Abba your way. (It was the first concert I ever saw and I still own almost every album!). Team Sweden, don’t forget Air France, JJ, Delorean, the Cardigans, and Dungan. I think they will rival the Wee Twee group of my team Scotland.
If no one steps up, I can one of those Scandinavian countries. Sweden has a lot more to choose from, but I have some short vikings in my heritage to live down.
You’ve got it, mockcarr. If no one claims the last couple of teams, we’ll make due (do?) and move forward. I think the possible selections people have thrown out during the selection process will do the trick. We’ll probably get games underway this weekend. Coaches, start thinking about your rosters!
Here’s TEAM CANADA
Striker: RUSH
Midfielder: APRIL WINE
Defender: THE GUESS WHO
Hey! Where’s the North Korean team?
Surely maximum leader Kim Jong-Il must have an underground funk factory located deep in the Taebek mountains churning out tons of groovy vibes, stored in secret bunkers along the 38th parallel, just ready to be unleashed on the running western dogs John Tesh, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift?
Pyongyang rocks!
Team Scotland: Wee Three
Striker: Belle and Sebastian
Midfielder: Orange Juice
Defender: The Jesus and Mary Chain
Are any substitutes permitted?
I was thinking along the same lines, misskir. Just like when you send in the fresh striker in the last minutes we should have one surprise substitute for late-in-the-game heroics.
New Zealand All White Nows
Striker: Finn Bros (includes all songs written by Neil and Tim). Classic pop song stylists with experience in the Premier league.
Midfield: The Chills. Brings a mix of tunes and aggressive guitar. Can be brilliant or flaky.
Defenders: The La De Dahs. Know the fundamentals of Beatles style 60’s rock and guitarist Kevin Borich can play the blooze.
Mr. Moderator aka Mod Ref:
K. brings up a good point: Can we round out our lines with all solo songs by band members?
And if we go with a substitute(s), do we need to proclaim them/him/her ahead of time?
Mr. Moderator,
Since nobody wants to claim France, I would be willing to offer my services. My qualification being that I’m “french candaian” and my band once opened for Orwell.
Que penses-tu??
…and I’m french Canadian too….
Wait, we have to play this rock match according to the rules of soccer somehow? I have no idea what strikers or defenders do. This is going to put the Nigerian team at a severe disadvantage.
The rules of play will be explained later tonight or Sunday night. I’ve got a couple of kinks to work out. Don’t sweat your soccer knowledge, BigSteve, this will be a rock ‘n roll tournament.
Subs? Let’s say you can select a sub, announce the sub in advance, but then if you go to that sub your starter is done for the tournament. When you see how matches are going to be conducted, this will make some sense and will help some of the thinner (talentwise) nations.
cliff sovinsanity, thank you!