UPDATES:
Nigeria forfeits match vs Germany.
Canada-Scotland play to draw.
Germany lays its opening strikes on the pitch, awaits Nigeria.
Sweden wins; Scotland-Canada match to be determined shortly.
New Zealand, Australia, and Jamaica win opening matches; APB put out on Team Canada.
USA decimates the Netherlands!
England defeats Wales.
Just about all 16 teams competing in the innaugural Rock Town Hall World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll have their coaching staffs in place and tryouts for roster spots in place. Before play begins each competing nation will submit up to three artists, past or present, from which to pull songs for competition. Each team may select one possible substitute artists, which will be announced along with the roster and, if played, must replace the artist substituted for the rest of the tournament.
The rules for play are surprisingly simple, but will be challenging over time:
- Each team will play one match against every team in its group; the top 2 point scorers (Win=3, Tie=1, Loss=0) at the end of Round 1 play will progress.
- On the day of play, coaches for competing teams will submit 2 songs from among the collective catalogs of their starting artists.
- Coaches and Townspeople will discuss the merits of each team’s selections.
- A winner will be calculated through a combined tally of stated opinions, anonymous poll votes, and the judge’s (ie, our) discretion. In most cases, the RTH poll will only be used as a potential tie-breaker.
- If there is a deadlock following the submission and discussion over the competing nations’ first 2 songs, each team will submit a third song, a selection which may come from the substitute artist’s catalog. Remember, though, once a substitute artist is used that artist must complete the tournament.
Not too complicated, is it? I’m sure we’ve overlooked some important rule, but it’s not like we’ve never been able to adjust on the fly before.
The schedule for Round 1 of play follows the jump!
June 21:
Group A: USA (Coach: 2000 man) v Netherlands (Coach: Cesar Zuiderwijk)
Group B: England (Coach: Mr. Moderator) v Wales (Coach: plasticsun)
Group C: Ireland (Coach: hrrundivbakshi) v Jamaica (Coach: bostonhistorian)
Group D: Canada (Coach: northvancoveman) v Scotland (Coach: ladymisskirroyale)
June 22:
Group A: Australia (Coach: cdm) v Brazil (Coach: BigSteve)
Group B: Nigeria (Coach: sir telewacker) v Germany (Coach: Giorgio Moroder)
Group C: New Zealand (Coach: k.) v Norway (Coach: Satan)
Group D: France (Coach: cliff sovinsanity) v Sweden (Coach: mockcarr)
June 23:
Group A: USA v Australia
Group B: England v Nigeria
Group C: Ireland v New Zealand
Group D: Canada v France
June 24:
Group A: Netherlands v Brazil
Group B: Wales v Germany
Group C: Jamaica v Norway
Group D: Scotland v Sweden
June 25:
Group A: USA v Brazil
Group B: England v Germany
Group C: Ireland v Norway
Group D: Canada v Sweden
June 26:
Group A: Netherlands v Australia
Group B: Wales v Nigeria
Group C: Jamaica v New Zealand
Group D: Scotland v France
Got it? Play for 8 of our competing nations begins NOW! Coaches in play today, please submit your starting rosters in the Comments section and the TWO SONGS you would like to put into play to start the competition. If you’d like to play your opening two songs close to the vest, you may send them to me by e-mail: mrmoderator [at] rocktownhall [dot] com, and I will not release the songs for play until both coaches have submitted their songs. Hold onto your possible third song unless needed, because no song can be used again in future matches once played. For Team England, for instance, if Mungo Jerry were to make the starting rotation the coach would have to play “In the Summertime” wisely, not wasting it on what should be an easier opponent.
Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks.
As coach of Team England, let me put forth my 3-artist roster and substitute: The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Elvis Costello & The Attractions with The Who as my sub. Once Coach plastic sun has submitted his Wales roster I will call my first two songs into play. I look forward to our match and all matches that take place today!
Hmm… Wales seems a bit overmatched. We My starting 3 plus sub are Badfinger, Tom Jones, Super Furry Animals and Dave Edmunds. Let the match begin.
For those of you who question leaving John Cale off in favor of SFA I offer this Amazon review in response:
By Jakeymon
The Super Furry Animals are the most important band in the history of music, everywhere, for all time, forever. NO OTHER BAND has made the kind of musical leaps and bounds from album to album while preserving their very own voice. NO OTHER BAND could make otherwise head-bobbing wastrels sing along to songs in Welsh. NO OTHER BAND could make such joyfully depressing songs and be so very right all the time about everything.
People who do not enjoy the Super Furry Animals do not enjoy music. I feel sorry for those people, because not being able to enjoy music is like not being able to see the sun come up.
I can’t believe that you didn’t field the Clash!
Team Austalia is going with:
AC/DC
Easybeats
Nick Cave
HooDoo Gurus (sub)
I do reserve the right to change those prior to game time if mickeydread tells me that I need to include the Beasts of Bourbon or the Lime Spiders or something.
So, I need a total of 8 songs (not counting tie-breakers), to get out of the first round, right?
The Clash were strongly considered, cdm, but we couldn’t be sure whether Strummer would dash off in the middle of the tournament.
ENGLAND v WALES UPDATE: England launches opening strikes!
plasticsun, I look forward to our opening match in this tournament. I will launch the following 2 strikes against Wales:
1. The Rolling Stones, with the canon shot from 28 yards out of “Rocks Off.”
2. The Beatles, directing a header attempt off a corner with “And Your Bird Can Sing.”
I look forward to your counterstrikes and a quick, decisive end to this match:)
cdm asked:
You need a minimum of 6 songs for the 3 matches you will face, right? Considering we can’t repeat songs in any round, each team’s sub will likely come in handy as we move forward.
You and your fancy math skills…
THE NETHERLANDS RELEASES SHOCKING ROSTER AND OPENING 2 SONGS IN PREPARATION FOR USA MATCH
Team Netherlands, led by player-coach Cesar Zuiderwijk (drummer for Golden Earring), has announced its roster and opening 2 songs for today’s match vs the heavily favored Team USA, led by Coach 2000 Man.
“Of course,” said Zuiderwijk before a few confused media members, “Golden Earring will represent the Netherlands. We’ve got to include Herman Brood, but we are especially pleased to announce that Van Halen, who’s brothers were born in our country, have agreed to represent our squad! Shocking Blue is content to support the team as a substitute.”
Team Netherlands will save its best for later matches, calling on Van Halen’s “Eruption” and Herman Brood’s “Rock ‘n Roll Junkie” in hopes of tie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRFgupLzPEU
After some initial confusion about whether or not Declan MacManus was in fact Irish (he’s not), Team Ireland emerged from a local shebeen, hoisted pints of Guinness skyward and announced their line-up:
Striker: Nimble, creative, plucky: the Undertones
Midfield: Solid and dependable, but quick and able to strike at a moment’s notice: Thin Lizzy
Defense: He’s stocky, he’s broody, he’s powerful, he’s slightly terrifying, he’s… Van Morrison
Goal (sub): the always dependable, hard-workin’, hard-sweatin’ people’s champion: Rory Gallagher. (In true always-the-bridesmaid Rory fashion, Gallagher is in fact SUB-subbing for Stiff Little Fingers, who missed the cut due to the band’s recent inclusion of Bruce “same hairdo for the last 30 years” Foxton, who is very much not Irish. U2, of course, were red-carded due to extent of recent hob-nobbing with Bob Geldof, Jack White and Wyclef Jean.)
A fine squad you have assembled, HVB! We’ll see what Team Jamaica’s bostonhistorian has in store for you in, probably, the toughest match of opening day.
Do we have a report on the open-day festivities yet? Is that Lonnie Donegan I see leading Team England as it enters the stadium?
So, Mr. Moderator, the first run of songs can be from any of our initial roster, and can’t be used in later play?
Not much Wales can do against Rocks Off except a unexpected counterattack with “What’s New Pussycat”. As Wales must play for a draw, then Badfinger will penetrate by “out-Beatling” the Beatles with “Come and Get It”
That’s correct, ladymiss. For instance, as coach of Team England, I cannot play “Rocks Off” or “And Your Bird Can Sing” when we face future teams, in this or – should we be so blessed – later rounds.
As your message arrived “And Your Bird Can Sing” popped up on my iPod shuffle. I think that header connected! I see that plasticsun has just submitted his opening strikes. Let’s see how this is going to work out…
BREAKING NEWS! WALES COUNTER-ATTACKS IN OPENING MATCH WITH ENGLAND
Team Wales coach plasticsun has turned in his opening counter-attacks v the mighty English team. He reports:
What do we say about these opening strikes by our first two teams to play in the tournament? Speaking objectively, in my wholly independent and unaffiliated role as commissioner and one of the judges of this tournament, I think plasticsun has chosen an interesting and effective strategy. By using “What’s New…” he attempted to sneak in a surprise attack that England’s rangey keeper Pete Thomas batted out of play. Stronger Tom Jones material is available for his use in the following matches within Group B. (Jones, by the way, is probably the tournament’s best player at trapping the ball with his chest.)
The key is whether using a song from England’s playbook, the McCartney-penned “Come and Get It” was defended or not? Does Badfinger’s recording of a song that Paul told them to play exactly as his demo for them best the dazzling header off the left corner by “And Your Bird Can Sing”?
Scotland is ready to rumble. Our opening shots are in response to the Scotland’s typical weather and that we are playing our opening match on June 21. Our choices:
1. Belle and Sebastian’s “A Summer Wasting.”
2. The Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Happy When it Rains.”
[Links to YouTube videos set for those who may not know these songs off the tops of their graying/balding heads. – Mr. Mod]
who are you kidding mr. mod, you’ve got this one in the bag! lol
And I would like to remind our wonderful judges that the Wee Three’s team is comprised of artists known for their lyrics as well as great music.
Thankfully, ladymisskirroyale, the vuvuzela has been banned from all venues. Audiences may, however, chat and even sing-along during songs, surely to the annoyance of our most sensitive Townspeople.
The Jamaican team is represented by:
(1) Bob Marley and the Wailers.
As a sidenote, we all know why Ireland didn’t play U2–Bono’s “One Love” can’t hold a candle to Bob Marley’s “One Love”.
(2) Toots and the Maytals
Reggae got soul!
(3) King Tubby
Because sometimes you just have to shake your ass.
Backup: The Skatalites
Opening match songs:
Bob Marley, “One Love” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sonYFxHHvaM
Marley follows Sam Cooke’s sacred/profane balancing act to a stunning result.
Toots and the Maytals “54-46 (Was My Number)” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhjBiZSfM08
If James Brown had been busted for in Jamaica for weed instead of drunk driving in Georgia, he would have written this song. Give it to me four times! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
A puzzling start from England, with the unintelligible and vastly overrated “Rocks Off” only slightly offset by the Beatles “And Your Bird Can Sing,” which is saved only by the guitar work. Overconfidence on England’s part or just trying to get to the knock out round? “Come and Get It” smokes both of England’s offerings.
Also, England can’t have the Clash because there would be fisticuffs over the Clash’s “1977”: “No Elvis Beatles or the Rolling Stones”
Wales has the potential to take down a lot of other teams but right now it’s a blood bath out there.
Sorry for the late start, but we had lot’s of autographs to sign. We love our fans worldwide, and can’t let them down!
The starting team consists of Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley and The Beach Boys. Yes, the coaching staff is much younger and not quite familiar with all their skills, but they’re quick to adapt and recognize results, even when they don’t like the methods. The bench player is Chuck Berry. I realize the team is kind of old, but you have to play with what got you there!
Elvis does whatever soccer guys do that’s really cool and let’s it rip with Heartbreak Hotel.
The Beach Boys combine talents and bring the world to it’s collective feet with California Girls.
Mister Bob Dylan just lays it down with It’s All Over Now Baby Blue.
The coaching staff feels good, but a little nervous with this unfamiliar lineup of superstars. Getting punched in the nuts by Jerry Lee Lewis for cutting him has made them nervous!
ENGLAND DEFEATS FEISTY WALES SQUAD
“This is not the strongest match we expect to play,” said England’s coach Mr. Mod, “but credit is due to our Welsh opponents.”
Team trainer Mal Evans was pleased with the outcome. “Entering the tournament we put an emphasis on set plays,” said Evans, to the assembled media. “The goal scored off the corner on ‘And Your Bird Can Sing’ may set the tone for future battles.”
Critics of the English squad, like bostonhistorian, sensed overconfidence. “The ‘Bird’ play,” said the Townsman, “was a high-risk, low-reward show of colonialism!”
Mr. Mod discounted such charges. “We’ve got a deep and varied roster. We will use our tools as we see fit.”
USA DECIMATES NETHERLANDS DESPITE PLAYING SHORTHANDED!
The unnecessary playing of a third song (Dylan’s “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”) by Team USA earned the Yanks an early red-card, giving Team Netherlands an 11 v 10 advantage for the final 63 minutes of play. But it was for naught. Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel” sent Dutch rock icon Herman Brood scurrying. The Beach Boys’ version of “California Girls,” meanwhile, distracted the Netherlands’ David Lee Roth, following the Dutch-born Van Halen brothers in their bid for the RTH World Cup, to the point of getting a yellow card for an intentional hand ball. “They killed it, man,” said Roth, “I just wanted to give Mike Love a hug!”
A coach of one of the team’s in another group, perhaps looking forward to an eventual showdown with the US club, breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m not sure we had a match for ‘Baby Blue,'” said the coach, who asked that his comments be kept anonymous.
Team Sweden beware! Team France coach Cliff Sovinsanity has submitted his roster. His opening 2 songs await the announcement of your roster, Coach mockcarr, and the start of play! Here’s Coach Sovinsanity’s official statement on the matter:
Ireland, Canada, and Day 2 teams may begin play!
I told you it was late and we had a long day! Fortunately, Bob has a really deep arsenal, and no one got hurt, so we can keep Chuck rested and ready.
I can’t help but think – and perhaps plasticsun and Jakeymon himself would agree – that the Super Furry Animals didn’t have their hearts in this one, but will be instrumental in leading Wales to a shocking victory over the field in the next World Cup of Rock when all of these veteran teams are finally forced to retire.
The Netherlands’ choice not to lead with “Radar Love” is going to be very controversial and debated for years. Also, having not seen the match, was that the DLR/Eddie/Alex/Michael Anthony line-up, or the DLR/Eddie/Alex/Wolfgang line-up playing for them? I wouldn’t be shocked if Eddie had forced Wolfie on to the team as part of VH’s defection from the US.
Alexmagic, Coach Zuiderwijk’s comments following the match came in a little too late for press, but he’s been clear that he would resist playing “Radar Love” until his team finds itself in a match it can reasonably win. As for Van Halen, it is the classic, original lineup in play. Sammy Hagar is barred from entering the Netherlands owing to a 2004 Cabo Wabo smuggling charge.
Brazil is a huge country with a vast musical culture, so narrowing down a roster was tough. I have chosen the wily veteran Gilberto Gil, the flamboyant Jorge Ben, and newcomers Bonde do Role. I’m saving the inscrutable Caetano Veloso as my possible substitute. Songs coming up shortly. Australia, be ready for a tough opening round.
I agree with the results of the USA and England matches (although I would award Wales a late, meaningless goal for the cheezy nostalgia value of “What’s New Pussycat?”). Great Toots selection for Jamaica, Ireland needs to step up.
Now, my opposition (Norway) has no coach, lineup or songs but we all know they have one trick: Satan. The Kiwis should get an easy goal leading off with “Something So Strong” from Crowded House (link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MbBW1k3niE&feature=related)
and we will let this wah wah pedal driven version of the classic “Watchtower” by the La De Da’s (link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfneyRPBQKM) take care of defending the goal from Satan’s minions.
Ok here are Brazil’s songs for the first round:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gunfjJY6o-Q
I’m wary about using my best play right up front, but I know the Aussies like to rock, and I feel like I have to go with Jorge Ben’s Umbababarauma to hit them where they live. As an added bonus, this song is actually about soccer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrBYm9l1XWs
Next up, Brazil’s new postmodern cut-ups Bonde do Role. I believe this is a style of play the wonders from down under will have no experience with, and they will be so flummoxed that they will never recover.
Team Australia is not the most nuanced squad, but what they lack in finesse, they make up for in sheer brute force.
First, ACDC steamrolls straight down the field with If You Want Blood, You Got It.
Then, Nick Cave uses his gigantic five-head to send a second shot into the net.
Not particularly pretty to look at, but very effective against the Sambas we expect to be thrown our way.
If You Want Blood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3wXkv1VW54
Dig Lazarus, Dig!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBAYr73mlTk
The Irish team proudly takes to the pitch with a strong opening salvo, knowing how wily the Jamaican team can be on the international stage.
First, The Undertones deftly flip the ball over the heads of Toots & the Maytals with an almost mocking, fully rocking delivery of their own “number” number, namely, “You’ve Got My Number.” GOOOOOOOOOL!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQFrhPxSf9s
Just a few minutes later, Van Morrison, aided by a powerful cross from Thin Lizzy, heads it into the back of the net with “I Can Only Give You Everything.” SCORE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtscUJHqHaA
HVB
Some fierce battles are in play! I’m just catching up. For the Brazil-Australia match and the Ireland-Jamaica match I will need to call on your Piercing Rock Analysis skills. One judge alone is not qualified to assess the attacks of a couple of bands he really can’t stand:) Let me get to this, and I look forward to your thoughts as well! Thanks.
As Kiwi Koach k. predicted, the Norway squad will be led by Satan. His roster and opening strikes will be announced later this afternoon. Thanks for your patience!
The problem with the Jamaican side is clearly — sorry, boston — the coaching. I mean, really: sending out Bob Marley and making him play “One Love”?! That song is one cheeseball away from being the centerpiece of a Disney soundtrack about tropical fish and shit. With such a deep catalog, you could’ve called almost *any* play and sent any “deep track” by the Undertones or Van the Man to the showers. But that one — no sir!
Having said that, I feel for the teams that’ll have to face the Duppy Conqueror in future rounds.
Coach Satan of Team Norway has announced his roster and opening strikes against New Zealand. The Norway club will be composed of Black Metal icons Mayhem, early ’70s prog-rock band Ruphus, and the most evil of all Norwegian bands, a-ha. The substitute will be Black Metal mainstays Burzum.
Norway’s opening strike will be Mayhem’s “Freezing Moon,” seen here in a “friendly play” match at 2008 Hellfest.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6kCP4dCX3Q&feature=related
In an effort to drive the Kiwis’ hopes to eternal damnation Norway will cap off their match with the Ruphus classic “Coloured Dreams.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PtFdG244ZE&feature=related
Coach Satan is definitely a master of deception!
IRELAND GOAL DISALLOWED, ENTER SHOOTOUT WITH JAMAICA!
Good points, re: your match vs Jamaica, hrrundi, but the ref is waving off the perfectly executed goal by THEM on “I Can Give You Everything.” Van Morrison was entered into the tournament, not Them. Allowing Them to compete would allow Team England, for instance, to call on Ringo’s solo hits to bolster its roster. I think you’d all agree that would be totally unfair.
As I see it, bostonhistorian’s Jamaica club struck with the Toots song while The Undertones’ “You’ve Got My Number” cannot be denied. I think it’s time you all reach one song further into your collective catalogs to see if you can’t break the tie!!!
The Jamaican team scoffs at the notion that “One Love” is a Disney style song–check the 1965 ska version by The Wailers. In fact, the only Disney song applicable here is “It’s A Small World After All”, in honor of Van Morrison’s stature. I’d also point out that “I Can Only Give You Everything” is by Them, not Van Morrison. If we allow Them to be considered Van Morrison, can Mick Jagger and David Bowie’s “Dancing in the Streets” be far behind as a Rolling Stones submission when England gets desperate?
I see Mr. Moderator saw the same weakness in the Irish strategy so I will have to review tie-breaking strategy.
Shite! There’s a mad scramble on the pitch as Team Ireland — interrupted in the middle of celebration — rushes back on the field to try and score. Canny as always, the Ireland coach decides to keep his players’ set plays close to the vest. Mod, look for that info “offlist.”
HVB
The battle raging between Australia and Brazil is really interesting. The Aussies, as expected, came out in a 4-4-2 with both guns blazing. Malcolm Young’s midfield play cannot be overlooked. The tenacious stopper play of Nick Cave is one of the tournament’s early delights.
Brazil, meanwhile, counter-attacks with that cool Jorge Ben song and some totally confusing dance track. Aussie keeper Phil Rudd has to be reeling from the Brazilians’ fancy footwork.
The judges need your help on this match, Townspeople!
Ireland and Jamaica: I look forward to your offlist tie-breaking entries. A poll will follow shortly thereafter. Thanks for being good sports about this!
Mod, your disdain for ACDC is well documented and I knew what I was getting into when I picked them. I suspect you’re not a fan of the Gurus either. But since you are officiating, I would hope that you are able to put aside your personal preferences and maintain a sense of impartiality for the good of the Cup.
I’ve got no beef with the Gurus, and I’m all about fairness, cdm!
Fair enough, but as a favor to me, please click on this link every now and then:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rocktownhall/photos/album/964471716/pic/1572822689/view?picmode=&mode=tn&order=ordinal&start=1&count=20&dir=asc
IRELAND-JAMAICA SHOOTOUT COMMENCES!
In an effort to break a 1-1 tie, Ireland and Jamaica have each submitted a third song. Of course it is possible that the match will remain tied following these additional strikes. Let us know what you think, here and/or in the tiebreaker poll that’s about to launch.
Team Ireland’s third strike is Van Morrison’s “Into the Mystic.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVAnlke_xUY
Team Jamaica’s third strike is Bob Marley’s “Lively Up Yourself.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCsCbc3o9kk
I am curious about Brazil’s decision to not bring Os Mutantes to the competition at all. They may have been able to win a round or two by themselves.
Brazil pulled one of the toughest draws in the field in Australia, but I almost suspect that the Brazilians could have pulled a huge upset here if they hadn’t left Veloso on the bench. A Ben/Veloso dual attack of Umbababarauma/Lost In The Paradise could have overwhelmed the Young Brothers, but as it stands, I would have to back the mighty AC/DC-Nick Cave powerhouse, and I look forward to seeing what they have ready for the knockout rounds.
I was wondering, why do we only use two of our starters to take a shot on goal? Because three would break ties? I know this is a short pants sport, and being American I utterly don’t understand it, but if all three starters took a shot at the goal, isn’t there better odds of no ties?
By the way, I think the Aussies look tough today!
2K, good question, and your answer is kind of in your question: ties are essential to Americans’ frustration with the great game of soccer. For that reason, the rules ensure the threat of matches ending in a tie.
Sweden wonders; are we in the group of death? What is death? What are groups? What of of? We cast an empty blue-eyed gaze of inscrutability at the pitch, remembering the Stefan Edburg posters of our youth, but now thinking of Scarlett Johansson. Oh, no, she’s singing. Our grim Bergmanesque visages turn one degree more depressed.
I’m no big fan of ABBA, but can I leave the Ronaldo of pop glossiness off the squad? I cannot face all that leaden staring. ABBA is on the squad and will trip France’s ingenues with “Dancing Queen”.
I must have the energy of Howlin’ Pele (correction Pelle) Almqvist and his Hives brethren who embrace the yellow cards sure to come by performing “Main Offender”. When an official getures at Pelle, he is sure to shout “Why Me!” in his inimitable fashion.
http://www.youtube.comwatch?v=RkqAhPCuULo
In Sweden, the sun is a distant relative until, say TODAY, when it becomes that sweaty uncle who won’t leave so we can go to bed. So, have another Grey Goose, and glower silently until our ice returns, or rock, as the case may be.
Being runty myself, I will accept Todd Rundgren’s application to be on the team through his heritage, since no other nationality will claim him.
The Soundtrack Of Our Lives beats out the Cardigans for the alternate. because, well, cardigans are for effete professors, not rugged footballers, and damn it, that rotund, beardy, earthy-crunchy lead singer guy can clean some house when it gets physical although he just wants some peace, really.
I only hope I don’t feel like a hostage to this team and then I end up treating them as my heroes.
Aussies v. Brazil: The thunder from down under takes it here. Although I might have exchanged the Easybeats as sub and picked the Gurus as starters, it’s a minor quibble. Great opening attack by the Australian coach!
Ireland v. Jamaica: I love both of those shots but I gotta go with Lively Up Yourself.
Dancing Queen and Main Offender against France? Talk about swatting flies with a baseball bat…
I figured I would need S.O.S. later.
I forgot that France doesn’t even practice, sorry.
Who are we kiddin’, it would take the hand of God to fell Britain.
Or the hand of Haile Selassie, mockcarr.
For the matches in progress I have to go for Jamaica over Ireland (Undertones and Them were too similar), Australia over Brazil (powerful stuff from the Aussies and I LIKE Brazillian).
Checked out my Norwegian competition and does the Mayhem guy get a red card for saying “fucking” to the ref? Actually, I can’t sit through that shit. The Ruphus tune was cool(ish).
I didn’t pick Os Mutantes because I’m simply not that familiar with their back catalogue. I’m saving Caetano because I have much more to choose from that I might need in later rounds. This is the dilemma — to go for the kill now or to play to win the tournament in the long run.
I think Australia is desperate because they know only one way to play. They’re trying to power through, but their game is so … 20th century. They haven’t even realized yet that my second track for Brazil is a trick play.
k., I agree, Norway put up a decent battle, but Mayhem was red-carded, not for saying that to the ref but for calling him a – I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable repeating what he said… It’s looking good for New Zealand.
And, as long as I am logged on, Sweden’s selections are so good that France need not even run a team out on the field. Just like in real life. Quelle horreur!
I needed a win for Sweden, it’s been so long since Gustavus Adolphus.
I’m trying really hard not to be influenced by Nick Cave’s sweet ‘stache in that video but it’s tough–I think his song is the winner of the bunch. The AC/DC sounds like AC/DC always does, for both good and bad, and this is the bad AC/DC. I’m calling this a draw. Apropos of nothing, shouldn’t AC/DC do a football/soccer double entendre song called Hand Ball? I’m just sayin’.
PROTEST!! CARTE ROUGE – France objects to the inclusion of the Runt.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I believe that the Jamaicans have won the match!
And I’m in agreement that although the Brazilian team has shown some fancy footwork and lyric mastery, the blast of the Aussies has subdued them.
As for the waiting Wee Three: Stuart Murdoch is pacing on the sidelines, most likely composing some clever ditty for the B & S next album; the Reid brothers are turning the amps to 11 and readying to blast some feedback.
And I totally understand BigSteve’s Caetano dilemma. I’ve been holding back some of the fancier Scottish passes and more directed headers while hoping that the Wee Three gets through this round. Orange Juice has a shot for Sweden in response to whatever Abba lobs our way.
I miss Super Furry Animals on the field. Perhaps they could ref?
Team France is not concerned with your quick dismissals.
Sweden may be cold but they will never be as cool as Hardy and Gainsbourg. We do more with a wink than TSOL or the Hives did their whole career.
Yeah it’s hard to see how you can defend against Lively Up Yourself. And don’t be no drag.
NEW RESULTS!
Wow, so where are we?
I’d say New Zealand has bested the surprisinly varied Norway team. Well played, teams!
The People have spoken, and Jamaica has edged out Ireland, in our closest match to date. I’m sure your squads will be happy to have this battle behind you.
Brazil will continue to be a team to watch, but Australia’s power could not be stopped. The Aussies could make some noise in this tournament. Cheers!
The crowd seems to have turned on the French, even earlier than expected. Sweden does take the opening match, but Todd Rundgren has been barred from playing with the Swedish national team. “This ain’t that stupid World Baseball Tournament,” said Commissioner Mod, “where a Mike Piazza, who for all we knew never even visited Italy, could play for the Italian team!” Sweden will have to play the rest of the tournament with its alternate, The Soundtrack of Our Lives.
A call is going out to the late-arriving Team Canada. Scotland cannot wait much longer before they win by forfeit. Stay tuned!
Nigeria and Germany should get their rosters and opening strikes in place for play. A coach for Germany will be assigned this evening.
Day 3 participants can begin preparing for their matches.
Since we’re approaching the end of the day, I’ll explain Brazil’s trick play. The song I posted Alala is not even actually by Bonde do Role. It’s a Bonde do Role remix of a track by another new band CSS, or Cansei de Ser Sexy, loosely translated as ‘tired of being sexy’ (A concept I am familiar with).
So the Aussies are characteristically cocksure, but they’re simply mired in 70s rockism and decadent singer-songwriterliness, and in fact they have no idea who they’re even playing against. No way they can defend against a team that likes to mix it up like Brazil.
Merde! My 2 songs weren’t even posted and we lost.
The pace is brutal.
Could we have some overtime for France? I wanted to see what they could do.
Wait, did I declare France a loser without us even hearing their selections? THAT’S A DISGRACE! The pressure’s getting to me. I’m sorry. Coach Sovinsanity sent me his selections yesterday, and I forgot to post them when play was ready to start. Here’s what he selected:
Let’s back up and let this match play out! Sorry, all.
Dear Townhall members,
If I may, let me plead my case for France. Our first strike with Telephone was intentional. You’ll noticed the music is very Hives-ish. But dare I say, it gets the job done better even without the cheap suits.
Mme Hardy…sigh. Are you ready to be heartbroken. 1:55
“Alors, peut-être je viendrai chez toi
Chauffer mon cœur à ton bois”
Sorry, not unlike Spinal Tap, Team Canada got lost in the tunnel.
Our two shots to the dome are:
April Wine: “Could Have Been a Lady”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dL8q3yc5SQ
and
from the album “Canned Wheat” The Guess Who’s “No Time”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvJnFtBq8C0
“Alors, peut-être je viendrai chez toi
Chauffer mon cœur à ton bois”
That’s harsh.
Team Germany welcomes Coach Giorgio Moroder to the fold! Kaiserkeller owner Bruno Koschmider has agreed to throw his support behind Moroder despite losing out for the coaching job.
The German team will be prepared to play Nigeria, led by Coach sir telewacker, in its delayed opening match. The German roster is as follows:
Amon Duul II
Kraftwerk
Popol Vuh
Its alternate is Steppenwolf, which qualifies thanks to singer John Kay having been born in Germany.
Expect a trance-inducing midfield passing game.
The Germans look very beatable – the entire nation of Wales is still in mourning over its near draw with England. Badfinger’s disallowed goal was shocking. Still, the Super Furry Animals are training for their next match (with Germany) and might I add bitterly “twll din pob sais”
An ish, an approximation, a guess at “rock” is all France can manage. Even what I would have imagined might have been the French advantage in “attitude” is drubbed a thousand fold by the strut and power of Main Offender over this Telephone entry. They are the sad broken pay phone on the corner that has gum in the coin slot and blurred graffiti from a 70s adolescent now gray-pated and i-phoned.
I doubt the French even understand “rock and roll”, much the same way they interpret other phrases like “defensive line”, “comic genius”, etc. Hardy relies on her cheekbones for her vocals.
As usual, the “beautiful game” is already marred by dubious referee decisions.
Whoever Canada is playing — Scotland? Sweden? The bracket seems a bit confused — needs to prepare for an interesting kind of play. Not too many teams will likely offer up such an insistent (almost plodding), yeoman-like strategy. That April Wine number is the North Korean defense strategy of Rock!
Sweden Defeats France – for real this time.
hrrundi, Canada is going up against Scotland as I type.
Scotland plays:
1. Belle and Sebastian’s “A Summer Wasting.”
2. The Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Happy When it Rains.”
Canada plays:
April Wine: “Could Have Been a Lady”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dL8q3yc5SQ
The Guess Who’s “No Time”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvJnFtBq8C0
Townspeople, YOU BE THE JUDGE of this unusual pairing!
That’s a tough match. Pit April Wine against Belle and Sebastian and it clobbers them. No Time decimates them. But pit Jesus and Mary Chain against them and they split by defeating April Wine and losing out to The Guess Who.
It looks like a tie so far to me!
Germany’s Coach Mororder has put forth its nation’s opening strikes:
As predicted, Popol Vuh will attempt to mesmerize Nigeria with its deliberate passing game, often playing the ball back to the keeper to the frustration of fans more accustomed to the rocking approach favored by traditional hotbeds of rock ‘n roll. Here’s the group’s opening theme to Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxE4yITfRLo
Then, to confirm the growing sense of dread, Germany plays Amon Duul II’s “Eye-Shaking King”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSvqchxzN_U
Nigeria, the world awaits your counter-strikes!
April Wine is the Canadian currency of rock and should be discounted by about 30% for that terrible handclapping/tambourine break which threw a workmanlike song into disarray. And while No Time has burrowed itself into the everyone’s mind who grew up listening to classic rock radio, I don’t think a rewrite of Turn! Turn! Turn! is going to make me believe in the Canadian attack. That being said, I’m not a huge JAMC fan and Belle and Sebastian has always been a little too fey for my taste, which is odd coming from someone who loves the output of Sarah Records. As songs though, I like the sentiment of the Belle and Sebastian song best. It’s a draw in my book, but if push came to shove I’d go with Scotland on potential.
I think it’s a draw too. I was surprised by some of the choices, especially for Team Canada.
Scotland and Canada seem stuck in a draw. Do we call on them for a possible tie-breaking third strike, or do we suggest they save their bullets for future matches?
Nigeria’s coach sir telewacker has been SUMMONED to begin play in his nation’s match vs Germany.
I give the edge to Canada. Unlike Bostonhistorian, that vocal breakdown in the April Wine song pushes it over the top for me.
Nice of France to show up with more game than expected. I was one of the people who discounted them without listening.
As big a deal as the US winning their group is as a story, there’s a Wimbledon match that’s 42-41 in the fifth set.
Canada-Scotland Ends in Draw!
I’d say this is a bit of an upset. Wasn’t Canada heavily favored?
That one stings as Canada cannot stand lightweight mid-fielders Belle and Sebastian, what with all their diving and whining to the refs.
In the time honored tradition of taking our frustrations out on France, Canada offers this up for Round Two:
The Guess Who: “Laughing”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDxg8z7iCQg
Rush: “Spirit of Radio”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FSrOJod_cA
Enjoy your Freedom Fries, You Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys.
PS Mod, I didn’t choose April Wine over Rush, I chose both. The rules said we list three artists. Mine are those two plus The Guess Who…
Let me get this straight, Canada chose Rush, the Guess Who and April Wine but left Neil Young off the roster? Oh Canada indeed…
We need strength off the bench for the stretch run. I just want to scare the shit out of everyone by having Neil sitting over there, scowling, waiting for his moment.
Ah, I see. He’s sort of like the Ogie Oglethorp of Team Canada.
Except he has scored a few goals, and we let him back in the country when he was deported.
I know that tie must sting, northvancoveman. I’m sorry that the poll answer is not clear; I meant a Rush SONG…
Your entries for the next game will be transferred to the latest thread. Thanks.
Team England, with The Who on the bench, sees the value in your club keeping Neil on the pines until the right time.
I didn’t think I would need his “Killer” moves against Belle and Sebastian. The first rule of RTH World Cup; do not underestimate your opponent.
So, for clarification, the Wee Three prepares to move on to battle Sweden?
And when we bring in our substitute, does that knock out one of our other players/artists?
All those headers have impacted our cognitive abilities…
Yes, Scotland will be facing Sweden, and yes, once a substitute artist is played that artist must finish the tournament and the artist substituted is finished for the rest of the tournament. Harsh rules, but fair! 🙂
To all competitors, please enter your Game 2 strikes in the current thread, not this one – I don’t want to get any more confused than I already am. Thanks!
Germany Wins Over Nigeria by Forfeit
I’m afraid that that Team Nigeria is stuck in that same tunnel that slowed down Team Canada. We’re going to have to move forward and award Germany a win by forfeit. For this match there will be no rock differential. Better luck next match, Nigeria!
Hey, I just realized something. Team Ireland and Team Jamaica squared off. The idea here is that each song/band competes to see who scores a goal, correct? So The Undertones song scored. I understand that. Then Them scored, but the score was overturned. That doesn’t mean Marley’s cheesefest “One Love” scored. It still sucks! There was never a tie, and thus our shootout was not a “tie-breaker.” As I see it, the score is *currently* tied. *Now* is the time for the tie-breaker!
HVB, it’s not as simple as you make it out to be, but let’s keep it as simple as possible:
The Undertones and Toots scored: 1-1.
“One Love” did not score. Them’s goal was overturned, therefore, not scoring: score remains 1-1.
In the “shootout,” if you want to think of it that way, the Marley song was deemed more impressive than the Van Morrison song, ie, it “scored” relative to the excellent “Into the Mystic.” Jamaica 2, Ireland 1.
We encourage you to gear up for your next match.
To make it easier for the judges to follow each set of matches, I will need to close further comments on this particular thread. Thank you.