Why, oh why do some of us feel compelled to dance and sing in front of others? And why does that desire frequently force us to act, you know, really stupid?
In college, I was in a band with townsman kcills, in which we wrote music with no words. By which I don’t mean that it was instrumental music — it was just music to which I would make words up, on the spot. If they were good, they might make it to the next show — or they might not, if I forgot them between one gig and the other.
Now: I was madly in love with a girl on the crew team at the time (oh, Emily! If you only knew how I pined for you! If you only knew how I yearned to kiss you! If you only also knew how disgusted I was when I discovered my best friend had plowed your bean field in a drunken stupor at a frat party!)
Anyhow — because I was a seething cauldron of pain and romantic confusion, I would frequently get up on stage and, for lyrics, just shout out some unintelligible nonsense about how tortured I was by my unrequited love for this girl. It was absolutely, completely pathetic. One day, it dawned on me that the only thing separating me from a screaming lunatic in a tinfoil suit was that I had a guitar and a microphone in front of me. I started getting a bit more serious about lyrics after that.
But I can’t be the only one with an embarrassing story to tell. Do share. I ask you: Musicians! Tell us your most embarrassing moment on stage or in studio. Listeners! Please share the most excruciating musical moment you’ve ever witnessed. Let the healing begin!
Oh, Emily!
HVB
Hey Hrundi,
All is forgiven. I didn’t bother to read your post, but God bless you for an absolute winner of a clip. Now that’s funny. A direct hit right at the center of the dart board. And since you’re not doing anything else worthwhile for the time being, you should continue to scan “You Tube” for some Keith and Danny Partridge insultfests, the best of which are found in the episode concerning Keith’s big move to his own private digs and Danny’s efforts to wrangle every last dollar out of his brother’s wallet. And speaking of Danny, what happened to that little fuck? He was actually a pretty good comedian with precision like timing!
Somewhere on “You Tube”, there’s a clip of Danny wearing a money belt, making change for an outrageously priced sandwich for Keith. My heart goes out to those who can’t find humor in that thing.
Free VG- copy of the Greg Kihn Band’s Kihnspiracy LP is yours if the mission is accomplished. And by the way, I’ve always thought you’d blend in effortlessly in that said combo.
E. Pluribus
The most embarrassing moment I witnessed in person was seeing K.C. (as in & the Sunshine Band) trip and fall on his kiester whilst trying to execute a dance move during, if memory serves, a performance of “Give It Up.” This was circa 1995 in Atlantic City, happily the only time I have visited that crap hole. K.C. along with 2 or 3 female singers and canned backing. Down went K.C.! Cl-clunk! Trooper that he is, he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and carried on. I am surprised I didn’t burst any inner organs, I laughed so hard.
I was doing my best Pete Townshend tribute at a “music festival” in some backwoods Mississippi holler (The entire gig was an embarassment, but we’re professionals…). I went for a split leap jump. It was beautiful. However, when I landed, the strap came loose and the bass kept going after I stopped. I saved the instrument thanks to my quick wits, but I did catch one of the other bands laughing at me from the corner of eye. The gig ended with me trying to stake my bass into the ground.
I got some strap locks from Christmas. Thank God for those.
TB
I recently saw Marah in Philly. They have new rhythm section and the bass player is a total spazz and really distracting. Lots of on-stage mugging and generally trying to upstage the other members of the band. At one point, he attempted to do that hair-metal thing where you throw the guitar over your shoulder and it comes around the other side, but his strap gave way and the bass went flying across the stage.
It’s a shame because he’s a really tasteful player. He can play well but doesn’t overplay.
I don’t think I can bring myself to confess all of the details of my most embarrassing moment but it involves my song selection when I drunkenly commandeered a guitar and a mic from an acoustic duo in a bar in Omaha.
HVD, having just returned from the Powell Street BART station in SF, I can honestly say that having a guitar and a microphone in front of you does not rule out the insane person angle.
i got a call one morning from a local rock journalist with an invite to play the World Cafe Live in Philadelphia, downstairs in the big room. I couldn’t resist. only problem was, the show was THAT NIGHT, and i had no working band. So determined to make it work no matter what the cost, i talked 2 friends into going with me to help “sing along” to some instrumental versions of my tunes and a half finished drum and bass remix of 10cc’s I’m Not In Love.
IT SUCKED SO HARD! i can’t tell you how awful it was to bomb SO HARD in front of the biggest crowd i’d ever played to.
I know Trolleyvox was there, and i think AndyR might have been there too.
The people i tricked into “helping me” were uncomfortable and embarrassed, the playback volume was real low, we played after a band that was really good, we had no charisma or charm, we were signaled from the wings halfway into the 3rd song that it might be best to cut it out.
it’s not the worst show i’ve ever done, but it was in front of the most people.
ugh.
I’m feeling embarrassed by the fact that I can’t think of any really embarrassing moments on stage, other than the natural embarrassment that comes with being me in public. My probable lack of self-awareness is extremely embarrassing.
Great story, Kilroy.
Among my top 10 douche-bag moves was falling off the stage at a show. It wasn’t a real ass over tea kettle fall, but more of a long walk off a short pier embarrassment.
I’ve also done the guitar/mic commandeering move like CDM in a bar. Ahh, fermented beverages. Made a complete tool of myself. Anytime I wander near a live mic is a recipe for shame.
RTH is getting to be like a Japanese game show. Some day we should share stories of triumph rather than humiliation. Oh right, first you need a moment of triumph.
First band gig for me was in high school, playing covers at a party. Yes, I had roto-toms. Yes, they fell over in the middle of the first song.
I was in a band with a singer who would mis-hear the key of the song somehow. He would sing entire songs – not “out of tune” per se, but transposed. It’s hard to commit to what you’re doing when you’re backing that up.