Over the weekend I took my boys out with a neighbor and his son to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. We all saw the first one together when that came out, last year or whenever. That night I left the theater thinking I’d be spared sitting through a sequel, that the movie was so inconsequential that not even the dream makers in Hollywood would think it necessitated sequel. I was wrong. Last night, good father that I try to be, I said, “Sure!” to our friend when he called at the last minute and asked if we wanted to join him and his son for the sequel. Personally, I had my reservations.
My wife was a little bummed that she wouldn’t be able to join us on such short notice. I told her that she probably wasn’t missing anything, that the first one, which she didn’t see, was no more satifsfying than eating a single marshmallow. “Yeah,” she said, “but Robert Downey Jr. is usually good.”
I looked her square in the eye and said with too-often-unchecked disdain, “I forget that you actually like that guy.”
My teenage son jumped to her defense, “He’s good! How can you not like Robert Downey Jr.?”
This got me thinking about Townsman E. Pluribus Gergely‘s Six-Pack or Shotgun theory on how we actually assess acting talent. To summarize, if you don’t have the time to go back and read the original thread, Gergely’s legendary late-night pronouncement on the topic should do:
“There’s no such thing as Acting Ability!” he said in typically definitive fashion, slamming his fist for emphasis. “When we watch any any actor in any movie it comes down to one thing: If that actor showed up unannounced at your back door, would you greet him or her with a six-pack or a shotgun?“
Today, let’s see if we can tackle the near-impossible task of applying this theory to related pairs of polarizing musicians. Sure, we’re loaded for bear when it comes to passionate, informed musical opinions, but let’s see if we can leave musical content out of it and investigate whether there is a deeper truth to our feelings on the following pairs of artists.
Your mission is to choose which artist in each pair gets the six-pack and which gets the shotgun. There’s no in-between, no ties, and especially none of this! The only risk you face in participating is the risk of revealing something deep about yourself.
A final reminder: If at all possible, leave your opinions on the artists’ music out of it. To aid in this I have attempted to kick things off with the selection of a few pairs of artists whose music most Townspeople have equal amounts of musical interest in.
When you’re done assigning the six-pack and the shotgun to each of the following sets of related polarizing artists feel free to add your own pair of related polarizing artists for us to ponder.
Let’s get it on…after the jump!
Six packs – Tim Robbins, Jeff Bridges, Gina Gershon, Christopher Guest.
Shot Guns – Willis, Thornton, Lewis, Shearer
That wasn’t easy.
Six Packs – Stillwater, Blues Brothers, The Oneders, The Commitments
Shot Guns – Dragon, Hammer, Originals, Bluesbrothers
That was too easy
My challenge would be
Jared Leto (30 Seconds To Mars) VS Russell Crowe (30 Odd Foot of Grunts)
This exposed some huge marital divides, starting with Tim vs. Bruce. I think TRobbins is the cat’s meow (note tacky pony tail boyfriend in “High Fidelity”) but Mr. Royale says, “I have one scene for you: Bruce Willis coming down the stairs with a samurai sword in “Pulp Fiction.” Uh oh. Thank goodness we both agreed on Beer for Bridges and for Gershon, and our mutual ab-whore-ance of Juliette Lewis and BBThornton. There was discussion about Shearer vs. Guest, but since neither was Squiggy, I was happy to split the 6 pack with 3 beers apiece (cheating, I know).
As for the films: Sixpacks for Stillwater (Billy Crudup! Jason Lee! Mark Kozolek!), Blues Brothers, Oneders (Steve Zahn!) and The Commitments. Easy as pie (mince meat, at this time of year).
Challenge: Mince meat vs. Pecan
Challenge part deux: Truffaut vs. Godard
Challenge 3: Crocs or Uggs
Challenge 4 (for HStan): Terry Jacks or Edward Bear
Pecan, Truffaut, Uggs, Terry Jacks.
Shoot, I never thought I’d have an occasion to choose Uggs!
Cliff summed up my answers quite nicely, although I’ve never heard music by either Gina Gershon or Julliete Lewis. But if we’re judging on non musical achievements, I will say that the more interesting question is Juliette Lewis’ cameo in Shit Girls Say (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-yLGIH7W9Y&sns=fb) vs Gina Gershon’s performance in Bound.
No one is supposed to care about Sherlock Holmes, he’s an insufferable prick who happens to be a consulting detective genius. Downey is actually pretty good casting if you think about it a bit. The fact that he has a love interest in these movies tells you all you need to know about how closely they hew to the books. I haven’t seen the sequel yet, but the first one was entertaining, despite the way they make a few fight scenes something out of CSI.
Beer: Willis, Bridges, Gershon, Shearer, Stillwater, Blues Bros, Oneders
Buckshot: Robbins, Thornton, Lewis, Guest, Steel Dragon, Blues Hammer, New Originals
I guess Commitments since I can’t place the other.
How about some brothers?
River vs. Joaquin Phoenix?
Ray vs. Dave Davies?
Groucho vs. Harpo Marx?
Edgar vs. Old Man Winter?
I want to hear Happiness Stan’s take on Sherlock.
Six packs around for River, Dave, Groucho & Edgar. I will always love Dave Davies for his pride in the guitar solo for “You Really Got Me,” even if he didn’t play the iconic riff.