The Nuremberg Rock Crimes Commission announced today that the charges against Sting, Rod Stewart, and Bryan Adams for Rock Crimes in association with their participation in a 1993 collaboration on a song and video for the soundtrack of The Three Muskateers were settled out of court.
Attorneys for both the musicians and the Rock Crimes Commission would not comment on the terms of the settlement, although it is believed that among the terms the trio agreed to never perform together again and Stewart agreed to stop performing in white silk suits altogether.
The Commission is currently investigating charges brought against REM’s video for “Losing My Religion” as well as Paul Weller’s role in Style Council.
5 Responses to “Out-of-Court Settlement for Sting, Stewart, and Adams”
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Oasis and Ocean Colour Scene would like you The Commission to know that having worked with the Modfather and also having backed him up on numerous occasions, that they can vouch for his positive character, soulfulness, and quality of performance. Paul merely tried to bring a certain sense of flirtatious attitude, taste and celebratory fun – while still occasionally remaining serious to the 80s sound (not to be taken out of context or used against us, please). Noel would like to have a man-to-man chat with The Commission about these allegations (please don’t look at him directly), and Liam is threatening to sucker punch everyone and is shouting a few choice words that I cannot repeat here – he has also already smashed a reporter’s camera. Speaking for Paul’s half (him and Steve White have gone ’round for drinks in light of the circumstances), “NO COMMENT!” Oh wait, he has a request; can you please use a fashionable photo for his mug shot? He would also like you to know that he doesn’t necessarily think that the white suit Stewart used was necessarily a bad thing – maybe just a bit off in judgment, like was it before or after Labour day possibly? As a rule, the white suit always depends on the wearer and the event.
Nice, Sally C! Perhaps Style Council won’t need a public defender.
that Bryan Adams picture looks more like Nick Nolte.
Excellent move by the defense team. It could have gotten very very messy if they had been called to testify on their own behalf. Suposedly the Rock Crimes Commision had lots of evidence to intorduce that may have brought about the death penalty.
Thank you, thank you… Someone had to get “the defense team” down there! It was turning into a regular kangaroo court!