Greetings, one and all! I come before you a sleep-deprived zombie, still consumed with amazement at the incredible awesomeness of having a first child. My daughter is very healthy, seemingly happy, and thus far, seems perfectly perfect to me. The possibility that she could have shitty taste in music, be afraid to dance, or (shudder) fall in love with a broke-ass drummer is still far enough in the future that I choose to believe none of those things could ever possibly happen.

But I didn’t make this appearance to talk seriously about years to come. No, I am here as Master of Japery and Lord High Commissioner of Fun & Games to ask you one simple question: what song do you think filled my head in the first 24 hours after my Miss M was born?

Those of you who have had the experience I just did will know that after the birth of a first child (assuming you wanted it), one’s heart is filled to bursting, and all the cares and worries of parenthood are subsumed in a tidal wave of the purest ell-oh-vee-ee LUVV. In fact, the days I spent in the hospital right after my girl was born were surprisingly reminiscent of the first few precious, hazy days I’ve spent locked up with the special girls I’ve fallen in love with over the years — you know that feeling, like you’re in an opium den of pure positivity and nothing-could-ever-go-wrong-ism. You don’t want to leave, but at the same time, you know one day you must. You suck on that love-opium pipe as long as you can, and then cross your fingers as you cross the threshold back into the cold light of day, and inevitable reality.

But, again, what I want to know is: for those first few precious, purely positive days, before the sleepless nights and screaming tantrums — what song was stuck in my head? Give me your best guesses. I’ll guide you with clues and hints as I deem necessary. First Townsman to get to the correct answer wins a coveted RTH No-Prize!

I look forward to your responses,

HVB