Side topic to an ongoing discussion about the days when a new release could generate a half dozen or more songs for airply: If coke off a hooker’s nipples is no longer an option, how does one bribe a music blogger or internet radio host?
The best answer will receive a Rock Town Hall Prize Package! Entries must be submitted no later than Thursday, July 22. Feel free to test me with actual bribes.
Taxpayer, Super-Patriot, and Townsman hrrundivbakshi‘s recent tale of walking out on a poorly executed and inappropriate performance by a US Army rock and soul band raised the obvious question: What would be the appropriate setlist for proper, rocking execution by a US Military rock and soul band?
Here’s an excerpt of HVB’s super-patriotic rant:
ESPECIALLY since the band showed no taste or common sense at all in their repertoire. I mean, come on — having (for example) a curvy female sergeant in camo pants, jungle boots and tight T-shirt singing “Walk This Way” — I mean the whole lyric, with all the references to schoolyard pussy and what-not — to a room full of teenage boys? With Sam Ash guitars screaming in the background? I’m no prude, but… wha? What does that have to do with love of country, or the caissons rolling along?
Read the whole thing to see what this taxpaying cat’s getting at, then contribute to a setlist worthy of our armed forces! Don’t be some namby-pamby kiss-up and suggest non-rocking songs like “This Land Is Your Land.” Don’t show your hatred for the Middle America that our troops protect by cynically suggesting Toby Keith numbers. This is YOUR US MILITARY ROCK AND SOUL BAND (at least for our US readers, but we invite readers from all nations to help construct this setlist). You’ve got 15 songs plus an encore. Make your setlist suggestions count! This set needs to represent all that is rocking about our armed forces and the United States of America!
Taxpayer and Super-Patriot hrrundivbakshi will decide all final set selections. Thank you.
Start playing at 3:15.
All this reminiscing about the godawful Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie got me thinking about the weirdest moment in an otherwise already super-weird decade in filmed musical entertainment: the 1970s. That moment has to be the grand finale of the Robert Stigwood-produced Sgt. Pepper’s movie. The movie is stupid enough, but — for the huge chorus finale — you can tell Stigwood put a call out to all his cronies, cohorts, and coke dealers to round up as many washed-up rock stars and Love Boat cast members as possible. Then he set them on a huge outdoor set, taught them a few rudimentary dance moves, and had them sing along to a bad cover of the Sgt. Pepper’s “Reprise.”
The cast he assembled is downright strange. But — rather than have me rattle them all off here — why don’t we rattle them all off together? It really is a fascinating, fun time-waster of an activity. I’m also hoping in my heart of hearts that you worthy Townsmen will also take a few moments to comment on the widely varying performances caught on screen.
I’ll start the proceedings by pointing out: at 4:26 — yes, that’s albino guitar wizard Johnny Winter, “dancing” rather haphazardly!
I look forward to your responses.
HVB
It may have been inevitable that the heavily favored Team England won the inaugural Rock Town Hall World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll over Team Jamaica – and there is less joy in Mudville than English fans had hoped – but congrats to England for its victory.
Congrats are also due to Jamaica and coach bostonhistorian for a masterful tournament run. It was interesting, throughout the tournament, to follow the exploits of “tournament-built” underdog teams like Jamaica and Sweden and contrast their approaches with some of the struggling deep-catalog nations, like USA and Canada. I think a lot will be learned as coaches look ahead to the 2014 RTH World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll, which will only allow currently active artists to enter play.
Thanks again to all who played along, as coaches, commentators, and whatnot. At this point I invite you to add your post-tournament analysis to the record!
UPDATES:
England pulls out pyrrhic victory over Jamaica.
In a major upset over Team USA, Jamaica will face England in the Finals of our inaugural Rock Town Hall World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll!
The coaches, Mr. Moderator and bostonhistorian, know the drill by now. There will be no ties, so: have a third strike ready. You will pick up with the rosters you used to end the semi-final round of play. Remember: any artist substituted for is now OUT of play.
Coaches can submit their opening two strikes in the Comments section. If you want to play your hand close to the vest and/or would like to submit mp3s for me to post, please send them to the Commissioner: mrmoderator [at] rocktownhall [dot] com.
Thursday, July 8
England v Jamaica
Tomorrow (or Friday, depending on the length of the match) we make history!
UPDATES:
Jamaica to face England in Finals!
England progresses to finals.
Four teams remain in the semi-final round of the Rock Town Hall World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll!
You know the drill by now. There will be no ties, so coaches: have a third strike ready. You will pick up with the rosters you used to end the first round of play. Remember: any artist substituted for in Round 1 or 2 is now OUT of play.
Coaches can submit their opening two strikes in the Comments section. If you want to play your hand close to the vest and/or would like to submit mp3s for me to post, please send them to the Commissioner: mrmoderator [at] rocktownhall [dot] com.
Tuesday, July 5
USA v Jamaica
Ireland v England
It’s time to leave it all on the pitch!
UPDATES:
Jamaica moves forward.
England survives Aussie’s OT challenge.
Ireland defeats Sweden in overtime!
Net-shredding Beach Boys tune edges Wales’ best shot at USA advances to semi-finals
Round 2 of the Rock Town Hall World Cup of Rock ‘n Roll is ready for kick off in full swing!
Following is the schedule for the second round of play, our first elimination round. There will be no ties, so coaches: have a third strike ready. You will pick up with the rosters you used to end the first round of play. Remember: any artist substituted for in Round 1 is now OUT of play.
Coaches can submit their opening two strikes in the Comments section. If you want to play your hand close to the vest and/or would like to submit mp3s for me to post, please send them to the Commissioner: mrmoderator [at] rocktownhall [dot] com.
Blue font indicates winner of match.
Tuesday, June 29
USA v Wales: 3.5-3, OT
Ireland v Sweden: 3-2, OT
Wednesday, June 30
Australia v England: 3-2, OT
Jamaica v Canada, 2-1, OT
Play hard, play fair, have fun!
