Mar 052012
 

Charmin of the Board!

A (long) while ago, we amused ourselves by applying the punny principle behind America’s most beloved free-with-inedible-bubblegum stickers — the “Wacky Packages” of years gone by — to rock band names. To my mind, this was a delightful waste of time — so much so that I’m calling out Mockcarr, Alexmagic, and all our finest punsters to contemplate Wacky-Packed versions of our favorite artists, albums and songs in the soul music canon. I’ll start with a famous soulful song of the ’60s:

  • “Schlock of the Bay”

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

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Feb 292012
 

Honestly, as much of an Attractions fan as I am, I’m a bit disappointed that Elvis Costello’s backing band ran away with their Rebel Conference semifinals match against The Wailers in our ongoing tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band. The outcome of this match opens the Hall up to a number of easy rockist charges that have been made against us over the years. Thank god The Wailers weren’t a female-fronted outfit to boot!

Worries about how we’re perceived in the rock world aside, I’m mostly disappointed, disappointed in those of you who didn’t do your part to at least make the final score close. The Wailers deserved better. I could have done more. I could have logged onto some friends’ computers and voted for them. In lieu of a prime Burnin’-era live performance of any of my favorite song from that, my favorite Bob Marley and The Wailers album, I leave you this parting tribute…after the jump!

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Feb 242012
 

The Wailers vs The Attractions!

As we progress through the Semifinals round of our tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band ever, the Rebel Conference promises possibly the most hotly contested match in Rock Town Hall tournament play, as The Wailers face off against The Attractions. The winner of this match will tell a lot about the make-up of our Townspeople. The winner of this match will likely blow away tournament overachievers Crazy Horse and move onto the Finals!

Through the long, painstaking course of this tournament adequate arguments have been made on behalf of all the semifinalists. That doesn’t mean you’re not encouraged to continue arguing for your selection in this round, but you are welcome to cast your vote now. Voting in this match will run through 11:59 pm on Tuesday, February February 28, 2012.

Semifinals, Rebel Conference: The Wailers vs The Attractions.

  • The Attractions (79%, 37 Votes)
  • The Wailers (21%, 10 Votes)

Total Voters: 47

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Feb 212012
 

Crazy Horse vs The Spiders From Mars!

As we progress through the Semifinals round of our tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band ever, the Classic Conference comes down to a battle between Crazy Horse and The Spiders From Mars. The winner of this match will face the upcoming Rebel Conference champs.

Through the long, painstaking course of this tournament adequate arguments have been made on behalf of all the semifinalists. That doesn’t mean you’re not encouraged to continue arguing for your selection in this round, but you are welcome to cast your vote now. Voting in this match will run through 11:59 pm on Thursday, February February 23, 2012.

Semifinals, Classic Conference: Crazy Horse vs The Spiders From Mars.

  • Crazy Horse (55%, 28 Votes)
  • The Spiders From Mars (45%, 23 Votes)

Total Voters: 51

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Feb 152012
 

Today we launch another chapter in our ongoing effort to squeeze some fun and entertainment out of popular music’s banality, with a segment I call:  In a Word — Schtick!

Here’s how this is going to work: contestants will vie for the coveted RTH No-Prize by attempting to use as few words as possible to describe a vital component of a given performer’s “signature” move, or Look, or some other thing by which he, she, or the group is identified. The goal is to have RTH readers guess the artist in question with the schtick-clue provided. The fewer words used, the bigger the prize awarded — and prizes are only awarded to townspeople who can provide a clue that elicits a correct artist ID on the first try. You lob a schtick clue into the void, and hope the first guess that comes back is the right one. If it is, you win! If it isn’t, it’s the dreaded buzzer for you.

For example — if I wanted you to guess “Keith Richards,” I might submit “drugs” as a one-word clue — but chances are that clue would be too broad, and somebody might incorrectly guess “Sly Stone.” BUZZ! If, on the other hand, I offered the schtick-clue “skull-ring” — that might work.

A few ground rules are in order:

  • God-given/natural aspects of appearance or behavior are not allowed as clues — so, for example, saying “big lips” to get us to guess Mick Jagger would result in a buzzer. But “omega shirt” would be okay.
  • Dialog is only appropriate if it was part of the artist’s schtick, and no famous one-time quotes qualify — so “thank you very much” is allowed for Elvis, while “I’ve got blisters on my fingers!” is not allowed for John Lennon.
  • No song lyric snippets or alliterated riffs are allowed.  It’s about the schtick!

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

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Feb 142012
 

The Family Stone vs The JB's

As we progress through the Semifinals round of our tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band ever, the Expansion Conference comes down to a battle between The Family Stone and The JB’s. The winner of this match will face Legacy Conference champs The Crickets.

Through the long, painstaking course of this tournament adequate arguments have been made on behalf of all the semifinalists. That doesn’t mean you’re not encouraged to continue arguing for your selection in this round, but you are welcome to cast your vote now. Voting in this match will run through 11:59 pm on Friday, February February 17, 2012.

Semifinals, Expansion Conference: The Family Stone vs The JB's.

  • The JB's (66%, 21 Votes)
  • The Family Stone (34%, 11 Votes)

Total Voters: 32

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Feb 092012
 

Semifinals, Legacy Conference: The Crickets vs The Texas Playboys

Finally, we enter the Semifinals round of our tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band ever! The first three rounds have been completed. The attached grid shows where we stand entering the Semifinals: backingband-tournament-64_SEMIS

The final two backing bands in the Legacy Conference battling to move forward are The Crickets and The Texas Playboys. The winner of this match will play the winner of the upcoming Expansion Conference match.

Through the long, painstaking course of this tournament adequate arguments have been made on behalf of all the semifinalists. That doesn’t mean you’re not encouraged to continue arguing for your selection in this round, but you are welcome to cast your vote now. Voting in this match will run through 11:59 pm on Friday, February February 10, 2012.

Semifinals, Legacy Conference: The Crickets vs The Texas Playboys

  • The Crickets (57%, 16 Votes)
  • The Texas Playboys (43%, 12 Votes)

Total Voters: 28

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