Feb 072011
 

There'll be no more AAAAAAUGGGHHH!

We all know we’ve got strong opinions, weird ideas, and irritating hangups about this thing we call Rock. Further, we may all think we know why we’re guided by our peculiar illusions—and we have no problem holding forth endlessly, jabbing our fingers in the air, and blowing hard to convince others that we’re not fools for believing what we do.

But, really: do we really know ourselves well enough to know why we think the way we do? I say we do not! So when one of us comes forward with a decidedly peculiar position, shouldn’t we endeavor to help that Townsperson better understand the roots of that complex—rather than just try to convince them they’re wrong? Saturnismine, for example, thinks Nevermind is a better album than Revolver. I know Sat well enough to not bother trying to convince him he’s wrong about that. But I think I do owe him the courtesy of my best guess as to why he feels that way. It might help.

But let’s not pick on poor Saturnismine. I’ve got issues, too. For instance, I need somebody to explain to me why I find Al Green‘s secular music incredibly depressing, and thus almost unlistenable. That just doesn’t make any sense—does it? Can somebody help me here? Don’t tell me how or why I’m wrong. Help me understand why I feel that way.

Surely there are others among us with “bad rock thoughts” who could use a helping hand. Come forward, brothers and sisters, and share.  We’re here to help you understand. We’re here to help you heal—to help you love yourself again, as we have always loved you.

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

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Jan 122011
 

Am I the only Townsman who suspects Mr. Moderator has been feeling a bit blue lately?  Recent posts, while thoughtful and enlightening as always, have just seemed a little… well, maybe a little too thoughtful.  Bottom line:  he needs to get back to where he once belonged.  Towards that end, I offer the following as a soothing balm for his tortured soul.

Enjoy, friend.

HVB

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Jan 052011
 


One of the most faceless 3-hit wonders of my childhood—and possibly yours—Gerry Rafferty died earlier today at 63 years of age. Thanks to Townspeople andyr and ladymisskiroyale for notifying me and sticking the grandiose opening to “Baker Street” in my brain. It replaces the ringing in my ears following band rehearsal (did I tell you a number of Townspeople will be appearing Philadelphia’s at North Star Bar this Thursday night, January 6?), but it won’t help me get to sleep any easier.

You know Rafferty’s three big songs: “Stuck in the Middle With You,” which he did as part of the totally faceless Stealers Wheel (not even the standard solo Rafferty shot of him smiling, with his trimmed beard and smokey shades, comes to mind when I hear that band’s name); “Baker Street”; and the coke-ode “Right Down the Line.” Actually, I have no idea whether “Right Down the Line” is an ode to coke or whether Rafferty even snorted the smallest line of the stuff. If the works of an artist of the mysterious magnitude of Gerry Rafferty get stuck in my mind I can’t be entirely responsible for the playground shenanigans that ensue. It wasn’t until about 3 years ago that I even knew he was British let alone, what I learned more specifically tonight: that he was Scottish!

Who would have thought he was Scottish? With no explanation the man’s sound jumped from a humorous take on a previous decade’s wealth of Bob Dylan wannabes to some mind-meld of Steely Dan and Chuck Mangione. I’d love to hear a showdown between the theme from Mangione’s “Feels So Good” and Rafferty’s “Baker Street.” Eventually the themes would wind around each other, creating a healing forcefield, or wave, unrivaled since any creation from the original run of Star Trek. Townsman shawnkilroy would emerge from the crest of the healing wave, like sammymaudlin‘s hero, The Silver Surfer. Eventually Rafferty, Jeff Lynne, Ian Hunter, and Bob Welch would feel emboldened to remove their smokey shades. John Stewart (the musician, not the fake newsman) and Stevie Nicks would lead them through a few choruses of “Gold.” dr john (the Townsman, not the New Orleans musician) would find a way to drag Neil Young‘s Cadillac tail-fin from On the Beach into this scene. alexmagic (the Townsman, not Magic Alex, the recent guest of Mr. Moderator on Saturday Night Shut-In), however, would not lose sight of the opportunity Rafferty’s nationality provides us for referencing Hamish Stuart.

Finally, who would have thought the New York Times would know so much real stuff about the man’s life? Truly, Rafferty brought joy and perhaps even meaning to the lives of others beside me. I will choose to continue associating his songs with drives in my grandfather’s pickup truck as we went to and from the racetrack to groom and train his racehorses each summer morning. I’d rather forget about the scene in that movie that brought his music back into our collective consciousness once and for all, the point at which I left the theater in disgust.

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Dec 242010
 

Recently, in a completely unrelated thread, a Townsman thought he could “get me” regarding my longstanding dismissal of that the music on Love‘s supposed masterpiece Forever Changes as “bullfighting music.” I guess some wounds take longer than others to heal.

As 2010 winds down, feel free to use this space to air any ongoing, unhealed beefs you may have with me that you feel may still need to be addressed, be it my dismissal of Forever Changes, why we moved Rock Town Hall from our private Yahoo Groups list to this blog format, how I can possibly prefer George Thorogood to ZZ Top, or some other burning question that refuses to cool off no matter how much wisdom and reasoned arguments I have applied to your blistered sense of perspective. I will do my best to answer your questions—once and for all—and, more importantly, to apply a healing balm before we enter the New Year.

The airing of your ongoing, unhealed beefs may even benefit me. Every 5 or 6 years I come to the realization that an opinon I was certain of requires an adjustment. I’m probably due for one of these moments.

Comments for this thread will be closed at the strike of midnight, January 1, 2011.

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Nov 192010
 

A couple times a year I meet someone at a party, a show, or even here here in the Halls of Rock, get into a deep conversation about music, and then get around to asking this music lover what instrument he or she plays. “Oh, I can’t play an instrument,” the person tells me, “I’ve got no rhythm!”

I usually don’t say much, but inside I’m blown away that this person who knows so much about the music he or she loves, maybe even knows some of the music theory behind it, claims to have absolutely no ability to play any instrument, not even poorly. You’ve got hands, I want to say, you’ll find some kind of rhythm! Maybe I shouldn’t be so idealistic, or presumptuous, but I’d like to hear every music lover take a crack a playing an instrument. I’d like to hear ever music lover’s song, or if not actually hear it know that it’s out there. File Under “Freak Flag.”

Earlier this year Townsman sammymaudlin told me about a new design project he was kicking off for a friend’s album cover and website. The story behind the debut album by Chris Amodeo was like something out of a Hollywood adaptation of an Oliver Sacks book: middle-age Master Rolfer (a body-centered form of psychotherapy) and voiceover artist buys his first guitar at a fundraiser for the dying son of his friends, begins playing Beatles songs to his own kids, is encouraged by his wife to write a song for their son, and soon thereafter is flooded with the gift of songwriting. Song ideas invade his activities of daily living. Less than two years after first picking up a guitar Amodeo is playing his songs for friends at some Oliver Stone-worthy shindig, where it is determined he must enter a studio and record an album of his songs. The resulting album, Homo Luminous, is not just an inspiring testament to a middle-age dog learning new tricks but an accomplished, melodic album of songs expressing the spirit and hopes of a grown man.

In anticipation of his November 20th show at The Coach House, in San Juan Capistrano, CA, I spoke to Chris about his latent awakening as a musician and songwriter, the making of the album, and his recent success in turning our mutual friend, The Back Office’s sammymaudlin, onto the elusive charms of Be Bop Deluxe. We concluded our chat with a round of Dugout Chatter and by looking forward to the completion of voiceover work this VH1 Behind the Music veteran is doing in support of a future Rock Town Hall initiative.

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Nov 182010
 

Hey, gang!

What’s the most boring, frustrating video game in the world? Lou Reed knows!

What if someone made a game that required players to drive from Tucson, AZ to Las Vegas, NV in a bus? What if they had to make the 400 mile, 8 hour journey in real time, and what if the bus really, really needed an alignment—so you couldn’t just hold down the accelerator pedal with a piece of tape while you went to sleep?

And what if your reward for all of this arduous, tedious work was exactly one point? What the hell kind of game would that be? And why the hell would anyone play it?

Such a “game” does in fact exist. It’s a sub-chapter of a never-released video game designed by magicians Penn & Teller, which also (in a different, “impossible-level” chapter, seen above) features Lou Reed in full 1980s Jheri Curl glory.

A group of incredibly generous masochists at LoadingReadyRun have decided to donate many, many miserable hours of their time to playing this game—but only if sadistic “sponsors” step up and pay them to do it. Last year, the group raised more than $140,000 for Child’s Play, a groovy charity that helps kids have as much fun as possible when they’re stuck in the hospital.

The more (tax-deductible!) donations viewers make to Child’s Play through DesertBus.org, the longer LoadingReadyRun must drive the desert bus.

I’m posting this because it’s a cool cause that a company I consult for is sponsoring—and because you might want to head out to http://www.desertbus.org to offer up a few dollars in support of a worthy cause.

Just remember: Difficult is wining the Nobel Prize. Impossible is eating the sun.

Thank you for your time.

HVB

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Nov 172010
 

In a recent comment Townsman alexmagic, always one of the Hall’s finest conceptualists/commentators if not the Main Stage trailblazer we all know he could be (we’ll chalk it up to humility), hinted at his desire to discuss a Once and For All topic that developed from a “weird haircut experience,” in which, as he puts it:

…someone was playing a Stones collection that only had late-period songs on it…

The Once and For All topic is this: Reissues, remixes and live songs excluded, what is the best Rolling Stones single from 1984 on? It is crucial that we settle this issue, which has been implied on numerous rock discussion blogs through the years but not once tackled head on!

The broader, possibly more telling topic that needs to be discussed, however, is that of the rock-themed weird haircut experience. I’m sure I’m not the only one curious to know the details of The Magic Man’s rock-themed weird haircut experience, and because I’ve had two of my own rock-themed weird haircut experiences I know alexmagic is not alone in having such an experience. It’s likely you’ve had one too. These experiences usually aren’t discussed in polite circles, so FUCK YOU – let’s drop all pretense of being polite and come clean. I’m sure we’ll find the trading of our experiences extremely healing. Then we can go back to watching what we say at the dinner table.

I’ll start: Continue reading »

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