Is it just me, or would you approve of legislation limiting the height of lead singers to no taller than 6′ 3″? As much of a heightist (in the pro-tall sense) as I tend to be when it comes to sports and many other walks of life, really tall singers never look cool to me. They actually make me uncomfortable and distract me from digging their music. Trust me, it’s not a matter of them having an unfair advantage, you know, with the spotlight and the glory that already comes with being a lead singer.

Surely I’m missing some super-cool 6′ 5″ singer, but the first guys who come to mind are Arcade Fire’s Win Butler (6′ 4½”?); Midnight Oil’s stark-raving mad, bald Peace Warrior Peter Garrett (6′ 4″); and Queens of the Stone Age’s stoner-jock lead man Josh Homme (6′ 4″). I’ll take these big men on my basketball team. I’ll take my chances with them banging away on drums (lord knows I love long, lanky drummers), but I don’t want to see them hunched over a mic stand, not even a cool, old-school straight stand.