This kind of wanton, animalistic, perverted physical contact will no longer be tolerated in the Hall!

I thank God — and Townsman Dr. John — that our spirit-numbing, seamy journey through the filthy underbelly of rock and roll has mercifully come to an end. Now, as we COCK our ears to new music, let’s REACH AROUND and shake one another’s hand in a gesture of good, honest friendship. Let’s not reward any JERK OFFering to take this fine blog back DOWN THE DIRTy ROAD from whence we’ve just COME. Yesterday’s posts point down the road to perdition. BUT PLUGGING ourselves into a higher, purer source of content will be our surest bet to stop this site from SUCKING. DICK Vitale, sportscaster-CUM-visionary, once said, “That’s what it takes to win, baby!” He might have been talking about accurately SHOOTING basketBALLS, but he could just as well have been talking about COUNTry, Rock, or any other kind of popular music.

Forget T-shirts — *this* is what this year’s fashionable RTH Townsman and Townswoman will be wearing

Oh, sure, I hear a TITter COMING up from the cynical nay-sayers among you; but I believe a DEEP PENETRATION of this kind of positive attitude at RTH will result in a GOLDEN SHOWER of blogging riches. And just because S-E-X is off limits shouldn’t throw a WET blanket on things around here. There’s LOADS to talk about! You can talk about which washed-up artists have SHOT THEIR WAD, tease Townsman G48 until he’s forced to UP THE ASSpirin quotient in his daily meds — almost anything goes! And remember, with the Internet at your command, you can SHOOT YOUR quick upLOAD of video and music to RTH any time you like. So get crazy — use your imagination! Argue the merits of a clumsy Ska solo played on a RUSTY TROMBONE; discuss the merits of Katrina & The Waves’ “GOING DOWN to Liverpool”; come down HARD ON the Ron Wood-era Stones album of your choice. Just don’t make the mistake of, you know, talking about fucking or anything.

I look forward to your comments, as long as they’re clean,

HVB

As we approach the 1-year anniversary of the Rock Town Hall blog – an impressive and fun year of growth and outreach, I might add – we feel it’s time to reach out to a broader, less-inhibited audience. We’d all like an influx of some fresh meat, wouldn’t we?

For the last year we’ve kept true to our mission statement, keeping the focus on spirited music discussion. We’re doing what perhaps no other blog is doing, and we think we can do it even better. In the coming year we will stick to our mission, but expect some changes. Our numbers have gotten so large that we’ve been approached by more than one potential partner to help take us into the big money circle. We’re told that we just need to inch those hits up a tad more and “be willing to make a few compromises” to the format, which frankly, you probably won’t even notice. To reinvigorate passionate discussion and attract new revenue opportunities, we’re going to spice up the Halls of Rock.

You may notice slight changes in the tone of our Main Stage threads, but don’t ever think we’re about anything but the rock. Without further ado, let’s roll away the stone and let loose with some hot rocks!

Rock ‘n roll photography is rife with provocative images, but perhaps none is as provocative as the following Money Shot. Although this is an image the Web Sheriff would prefer to maintain on his client’s behalf, we feel posting it on Rock Town Hall is worth the risk of a Purple Arraignment…after the jump! Continue reading »