In our continuing quest to identify rock’s most cliched moments I present to you the following performance, which may take the cake. You couldn’t commission a panel of hacks to write and perform a more cliched song than this one…could you? The person who posted this video does not allow embedding, so you have to click here to watch it. Enjoy.
Mark Stein is the keyboard player from Vanilla Fudge, one of the most irritating bands in the history of Rock music. Vanilla Fudge featured an irritating guitarist, a very irritating bass player, and certainly the most irritating drummer in the history of the universe, Carmine Appice. Yet — somehow — Mark Stein, the keyboardist for Vanilla Fudge, manages to be more irritating than all of them put together.
I admit, I may have a problem with Mark Stein — but seriously, what is not irritating about Mark Stein? His stage garb is irritating — oversized brass medallions under freaky dashikis. Bellbottoms and Cuban heel boots — normally pretty cool fashion items — on Mark Stein, they just make me want to punch him in the nose. His hair isn’t cool — it’s a sort of modified bowl cut that neither impresses with its shag factor, nor interests for any purposeful lack of hippy hair integrity. It’s fake, like everything else about Mark Stein. Fake hair, Mark Stein. Fake clothes, Mark Stein. Fake Look, Mark Stein.
Mark Stein, will you please stop swivelling on your ass at every offbeat in every song you perform? Will you please stop doing that Mark Stein arm wave thing — like you’re pretending to conduct some invisible 300-piece rock orchestra? You do realize you’re just conducting Vanilla Fudge, right? Mark Stein, are you listening to me? Are you high, Mark Stein? I doubt it. You’re just acting like you’re high, aren’t you, Mark Stein? Stop acting, Mark Stein. Stop acting.
Please just stop singing, Mark Stein. The way you lean into the microphone is really, really irritating. The way you bellow is irritating, too, Mark Stein. Please stop, Mark Stein. Please just stop. You are very, very irritating.
HVB
As we enter the final hours of voting in Rock Town Hall’s tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band I bring you the videos Mr. Moderator doesn’t want you to see!
An anonymous source reports that he has been contacted by Mr. Moderator regarding his publishing company’s broad “web-scrubbing” abilities. “The Moderator wanted to know,” said the anonymous source, “how my company manages to claim copyrights on videos in which I have little to no involvement and get them pulled from the web.” The source continues, “I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until you called, but it was weird when he asked, ‘How would you, for instance, go about scrubbing a James Brown video from YouTube?’ He’s a weird fucker—and I’m not referring to James Brown.”
Here’s one of the videos Mr. Mod allegedly attempted to have removed from YouTube:
Following the jump is a video he pursued for removal even more vigorously.
Sounds of the Hall in roughly 33 1/3 minutes!
In this week’s edition of Saturday Night Shut-In Mr. Moderator reviews some of the underrated strengths of The Attractions and The JBs, our finalists in our long-running tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band. He also spins some new purchases and wonders what it is that he likes when he likes jazz. Enjoy.
[audio:https://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/RTH-Saturday-Night-Shut-In-71.mp3|titles=RTH Saturday Night Shut-In, episode 71][Note: You can add Saturday Night Shut-In episodes to your iTunes by clicking here. The Rock Town Hall feed will enable you to easily download Saturday Night Shut-In episodes to your digital music player.]
The JBs vs The Attractions...Once and for All!
Talk is cheap. This one’s for all the marbles. The JBs vs The Attractions. Cast your vote—once and for all—for rock’s greatest backing band ever!
Once and for all...who is rock's greatest backing band ever, The JBs or The Attractions?
Total Voters: 47
Loading ...Polls are open through Sunday, March 18, at 11:59 pm EST.
The Final Four in Rock’s Greatest Back Band Tournament poses the question, “Is it time to jump to the Finals?”
Consider the remaining matches:
Is there any doubt that The JBs and The Attractions will face off to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band? Is there any point in holding this round of play?
The JBs think there is, if only to prove their dominance. They have thrown down the following challenge: If fan voting for The Crickets and Crazy Horse combined beats the total votes received for The JBs, The JBs will concede defeat. In a show of solidarity The Attractions have announced that they will do likewise.
So there you have it. Cast your votes for the Clear Favorites (The JBs and The Attractions), The Underdogs (The Crickets and Crazy Horse), or any combination thereof. Let the games begin! (Voting runs through March 8th at 11:59 pm.)
The Final Four: The Crickets vs The JBs and Crazy Horse vs The Attractions
Total Voters: 34
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Honestly, as much of an Attractions fan as I am, I’m a bit disappointed that Elvis Costello’s backing band ran away with their Rebel Conference semifinals match against The Wailers in our ongoing tournament to determine—once and for all—rock’s greatest backing band. The outcome of this match opens the Hall up to a number of easy rockist charges that have been made against us over the years. Thank god The Wailers weren’t a female-fronted outfit to boot!
Worries about how we’re perceived in the rock world aside, I’m mostly disappointed, disappointed in those of you who didn’t do your part to at least make the final score close. The Wailers deserved better. I could have done more. I could have logged onto some friends’ computers and voted for them. In lieu of a prime Burnin’-era live performance of any of my favorite song from that, my favorite Bob Marley and The Wailers album, I leave you this parting tribute…after the jump!
