As most of you know already, we have members from various bands of some distinction hanging out here in the hallowed Hall. But I don’t think we have quite so many members from any one band as we do representing Philadelphia’s redoubtable Nixon’s Head. What concerns me isn’t so much that they’re (almost) all here — I think that’s great. It’s the fact that they use this forum to air their intra-band dirty laundry. It’s clear to me that they’re a band issuing a pathetic cry for help — and I think as fellow rockers and rock appreciators we owe it to them to respond with kindness and understanding. In an effort to help them begin the Healing, I’ve prepared a short question-and-answer form that I hope will help kick-start some constructive dialogue. Note that, in the same way abused children are given a teddy bear to help them point out where they’ve been hit or touched inappropriately, I thought I’d center this first discussion on a “neutral” topic through the miracle of YouTube. No Beatles, Motown, Sun Ra, Burton Cummings, jam bands, or Television here; we need to enter this dialog gently and non-threateningly.

Here, then, is your Rock teddy bear, and here are your questions. Mr. Moderator, andyr, chickenfrank, and sethro — I hope you’ll all take a moment to stop and think about your answers and how they might make your fellow band-mates feel.

1. Describe your feelings about this band’s gear. Do you see it as simply “flashy” or “showy,” or does it contribute to an important component of a unified Look?

2. Tell us how you feel about the manly baritone singing lead. Does his testosterone-fueled basso profundo add to the weight and majesty of this number or distract from the contributions of the band’s weedier members?

3. (Question for sethro) Notice how the Strangers have put their drummer right up front. Now, clear your mind for a moment… and share the first thoughts that flow back in. Think about the last time you performed on stage. Where were you?

4. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best), rate the song in terms of a) catchiness and b) bass/drum-driven “groove” or “drive”

5. On a scale of 1 to 10, please rate the extent to which you think this song rips off better material from the era. Now tell us whether you think this is a bad thing.

Thanks for participating, guys. I’m really hoping that a frank, open exchange — constructively guided — will help free up some destructive, bottled up feelings that have been seething under the surface for far too long.