The Atlantic City police force’s confiscation of illicit drugs held by attendees of Phish’s recent 3-night stint left longtime fans of the jam band wondering what all the fuss had been about.

“I should have eaten my mushrooms before leaving the car,” said one 20-something fan who asked to remain anonymous following his first disappointing experience at a Phish concert after attending “dozens” of shows since the band’s 2009 reunion. “Without even a roach to smoke you could say the scales fell from my eyes: Booorrrrrrinnng!”

“Their harmonies were better than I’d ever realized,” said Alex, 56, a jewler from New Hope, “but I don’t go to a Phish concert to relive the magic of the friggin’ Everly Brothers, not to mention I don’t travel to AC to get hassled by the Gestapo over a friggin’ joint.”

“The cops didn’t even care when I told them I have ADHD,” complained Brooks, 17, of Collingswood, NJ, who managed to keep only a strategically placed whippet after being frisked. “After getting bored out of my gourd by Trey’s endless jamming,” he chuckled, “maybe I do!”

Other fans whose drugs were confiscated expressed similar feelings of dissatisfaction with the band’s performance. Shaun, a 40-something fan who’s attended over 200 Phish shows since the demise of her beloved Grateful Dead, was more philosophical. “I mean, everyone has an off night now and then, you know? Maybe the cops took their stash too.”